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LIMOMx2
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Member since 5/05 24989 total posts
Name:
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Why as a parent do people put off getting their child help?
If they need it? Please help me understand this. I don't want to go into much detail but it is just so frustrating. Can a ped force intervention?
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Posted 3/20/08 1:24 PM  |
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Diane
Hope is Contagious....catch it
Member since 5/05 30683 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Why as a parent do people put off getting their child help?
I think many time parents dont want to face the fact that something maybe wrong, or in denial.
This is why we are moving forward to getting Christopher tested....as much as I dont want anything to be wrong. I would be doing him a disservice by doing NOTHING
Message edited 3/20/2008 1:30:42 PM.
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| Posted 3/20/08 1:26 PM |
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pnm1654
Mommy to 2 boys!
Member since 5/05 4565 total posts
Name:
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Re: Why as a parent do people put off getting their child help?
I agree, as a parent you never want to think there may be something wrong with your child. Some people just can't face the truth. 
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| Posted 3/20/08 1:27 PM |
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Re: Why as a parent do people put off getting their child help?
My guess would be fear. I mean and also not trying to make the child feel that something is wrong/ different. It depends on the parent really.
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| Posted 3/20/08 1:28 PM |
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lorimarie
AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 5/05 3753 total posts
Name:
Lori
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Re: Why as a parent do people put off getting their child help?
I don't know. We have friends who have a child who is in desperate need of some sort of intervention.
This child sends chills up my spine. The parents complain about him all the time and yet they do nothing.
Its like they know he has a problem and I know the ped has said things to them but at what point do you "suck it up" and realize that you're only hurting your child and not your "pride".
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| Posted 3/20/08 1:32 PM |
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Goldi0218
My miracles!
Member since 12/05 23902 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Re: Why as a parent do people put off getting their child help?
Denial. I see it every day. I teach special ed in a psychatric day treatment center - probably one of the most restrictive educational environments one could have their child attend. We have children who need serious medical and other clinical interventions and the parents do not want to accept them. They think we can cure kids - we can't.
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| Posted 3/20/08 1:44 PM |
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maybebaby
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 6870 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: Why as a parent do people put off getting their child help?
Pure and simple denial.
I myself was sick to my stomach worrying about my son. I knew SOMETHING was going on, but it had no label. It was small quirky things that bothered me and no one else (but DH).
Good thing I had the evaluation, my gut was right and he is now doing great.
Its VERY VERY hard to admit something is wrong with your child. The image and thought of your perfect baby is shattered forever....but after some time you realize its not bad at all, just a challenge for now that you can get through.
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| Posted 3/20/08 1:48 PM |
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bicosi
life is a carousel
Member since 7/07 14956 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Why as a parent do people put off getting their child help?
DENIAL.
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| Posted 3/20/08 1:49 PM |
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lbelle821
Arghhhhh
Member since 2/06 5285 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: Why as a parent do people put off getting their child help?
denial, i agree.
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| Posted 3/20/08 1:50 PM |
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mommy0604
My Son is my world...
Member since 10/07 3270 total posts
Name:
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Re: Why as a parent do people put off getting their child help?
Denial...
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| Posted 3/20/08 1:51 PM |
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CalendarGirl16
Alyssa's Mommy!!!
Member since 7/07 1138 total posts
Name:
Tiffany
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Re: Why as a parent do people put off getting their child help?
as a special education teacher i've seen that most parents just don't want to face it... they want to think that its just a phase that their children will grow out of. As a parent who is a special education teacher yes it will break my heart if DD winds up needing help but I'm a teacher who strongly believes in EI and will be the first to admit that we need help and get her the services if she needs them.
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| Posted 3/20/08 1:53 PM |
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05mommy09
Family of 5!
Member since 5/05 15364 total posts
Name:
<3 Mommy <3
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Re: Why as a parent do people put off getting their child help?
working in the childcare/education field- I cant tell you how often I see this...
I also think that many pediatricians aren't "on top of their game" meaning- since they spend minimal time with the child (1 visit- 2x's/year) arent referring parents to seek help..
I cant tell you how many children have been diagnosed, and the parents say their pediatrician never even suggested there was a problem...
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| Posted 3/20/08 1:56 PM |
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Re: Why as a parent do people put off getting their child help?
I am not in any way defending not getting help for a child that needs it, but you have to understand that it is one of the hardest things for a parent to do. Denial is a huge factor... Saying to yourself... oh maybe I am just rushing him, maybe it is me, maybe I am doing the wrong things, if I can just give it more time... Also fear...What if something is wrong, what if it cannot be fixed, what if it never changes...
As a parent you have to work through all of those feelings and for some people it just takes longer. No one can force intervention, it is always the parents choice.
If it bothers you, maybe you can speak to the parents, or do a little research to help them see what is going on. 
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| Posted 3/20/08 2:02 PM |
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Goldi0218
My miracles!
Member since 12/05 23902 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Re: Why as a parent do people put off getting their child help?
Posted by Princessmaris
working in the childcare/education field- I cant tell you how often I see this...
I also think that many pediatricians aren't "on top of their game" meaning- since they spend minimal time with the child (1 visit- 2x's/year) arent referring parents to seek help..
I cant tell you how many children have been diagnosed, and the parents say their pediatrician never even suggested there was a problem...
I agree wholeheartedly. As someone in the field, I make referrals all the time. The docs (in my setting pediatric psychiatrists) see the kids for all of 2 minutes, evaluate (often not well enough) and send them on their way because when the kid sees the doctor, they are on their best behavior. When you are with a kid for 6 hours a day, you see more than any doctor can see. I dont care how many letters a doctor has after their names - they do not see it all.
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| Posted 3/20/08 2:03 PM |
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Susan
Loving Mommyhood!
Member since 5/05 2391 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: Why as a parent do people put off getting their child help?
First of all, I think a lot of times parents have a hunch something may be "off" with their children, but receive false reassurance from well-meaning friends and relatives which temporarily put their minds at ease. Also, as parents of only children or firsts, we have nothing to compare our children to, especially for us SAHMs. And, I thnk more than anything else, pediatricians are ALWAYS telling parents that NOTHING is wrong and we are being too paranoid, because they don't live with our children and are not experienced enough to recognize problems during 20 minute well-visits. I also think parents think their children will outgrow their problems, which many times they do. Moms and Dads talk to their parents who grew up in very different times when EI wasn't even ever heard of and their parents tell them that we shouldn't be in such a rush to make our children grow up and to just allow them to have fun during their toddler years. Once you start getting help for your child, you wonder why you waited so long and how you spent so long in denial, but before that, I can TOTALLY understand how a parent wouldn't seek immediate help.
Message edited 3/20/2008 2:05:34 PM.
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| Posted 3/20/08 2:04 PM |
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Mommy2Boys
My Boys!!!!
Member since 6/06 14437 total posts
Name:
C
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Re: Why as a parent do people put off getting their child help?
Don't even get me started on this...I get incredibly angry when there are children who are in need of help and their parents dont get it for them b/c they are in denial, embarrassed, angry, frustrated or whatever the reason may be. It is such a disservice to your child considering all the help and therapies that are available and alot of times if children get help early enough, the outcome can be extremely good.
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| Posted 3/20/08 3:05 PM |
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ckdk
My girls
Member since 5/05 7027 total posts
Name:
Cheryl
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Re: Why as a parent do people put off getting their child help?
I wish I knew, don't get me started on what my poor nephew is going thru and not getting help for
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| Posted 3/20/08 3:06 PM |
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LIMOMx2
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Member since 5/05 24989 total posts
Name:
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Re: Why as a parent do people put off getting their child help?
I still don't understand how a parent can do this but that is ok. I am so paranoid that I bring up everything little thing to the Dr. so that if something is wrong, we can correct it or treat it right away.
It is so frustrating to someone on the outside.
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| Posted 3/20/08 3:06 PM |
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Mommy2Boys
My Boys!!!!
Member since 6/06 14437 total posts
Name:
C
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Re: Why as a parent do people put off getting their child help?
First of all, I think a lot of times parents have a hunch something may be "off" with their children, but receive false reassurance from well-meaning friends and relatives which temporarily put their minds at ease. Also, as parents of only children or firsts, we have nothing to compare our children to, especially for us SAHMs. And, I thnk more than anything else, pediatricians are ALWAYS telling parents that NOTHING is wrong and we are being too paranoid, because they don't live with our children and are not experienced enough to recognize problems during 20 minute well-visits. I also think parents think their children will outgrow their problems, which many times they do. Moms and Dads talk to their parents who grew up in very different times when EI wasn't even ever heard of and their parents tell them that we shouldn't be in such a rush to make our children grow up and to just allow them to have fun during their toddler years. Once you start getting help for your child, you wonder why you waited so long and how you spent so long in denial, but before that, I can TOTALLY understand how a parent wouldn't seek immediate help.
I understand your point but I think as a parent, who has chosen to have this child, it is a parents responsibility to be well read and well informed on the possibilities. I dont consider myself to be a genius by any means, but with all the research and studies that have been basically pushed on us the past few years, parents SHOULD be able to identify certain markers that show their is a problem. I read baby book after baby book and articles, even saw things all over the news about what to look for. I make it a point to bring up at every ped. appt what milestones my son should be reaching and what, if anything I should be looking for. A child cannot obviously diagnose themselves and our pediatricians after 1 yr do not see our children enough to always be able to identify a problem that is why it is the parents responsibility to do so.
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| Posted 3/20/08 3:08 PM |
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2BEANS
wow time is going fast.
Member since 9/07 16106 total posts
Name:
Tina
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Re: Why as a parent do people put off getting their child help?
Posted by Diane
I think many time parents dont want to face the fact that something maybe wrong, or in denial.
I agree, plus i think some people just dont know where to look for the help.
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| Posted 3/20/08 3:27 PM |
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Susan
Loving Mommyhood!
Member since 5/05 2391 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: Why as a parent do people put off getting their child help?
Posted by jellybean1420
First of all, I think a lot of times parents have a hunch something may be "off" with their children, but receive false reassurance from well-meaning friends and relatives which temporarily put their minds at ease. Also, as parents of only children or firsts, we have nothing to compare our children to, especially for us SAHMs. And, I thnk more than anything else, pediatricians are ALWAYS telling parents that NOTHING is wrong and we are being too paranoid, because they don't live with our children and are not experienced enough to recognize problems during 20 minute well-visits. I also think parents think their children will outgrow their problems, which many times they do. Moms and Dads talk to their parents who grew up in very different times when EI wasn't even ever heard of and their parents tell them that we shouldn't be in such a rush to make our children grow up and to just allow them to have fun during their toddler years. Once you start getting help for your child, you wonder why you waited so long and how you spent so long in denial, but before that, I can TOTALLY understand how a parent wouldn't seek immediate help.
I understand your point but I think as a parent, who has chosen to have this child, it is a parents responsibility to be well read and well informed on the possibilities. I dont consider myself to be a genius by any means, but with all the research and studies that have been basically pushed on us the past few years, parents SHOULD be able to identify certain markers that show their is a problem. I read baby book after baby book and articles, even saw things all over the news about what to look for. I make it a point to bring up at every ped. appt what milestones my son should be reaching and what, if anything I should be looking for. A child cannot obviously diagnose themselves and our pediatricians after 1 yr do not see our children enough to always be able to identify a problem that is why it is the parents responsibility to do so.
Ok, but if everybody that knows you and your child is telling you nothing is wrong and you're being hypercritical ... people with more experience with children, you start to question yourself. ESPECIALLY when you raise te issues with your pediatrician who in turn says your child is typically developing and to give things time. Sometimes until you're in a specific situation it's difficult to know how you would deal with it and I find it frustrating when people judge. It is a different story when you KNOW for a fact that your child is not developing properly and don't get him or her help because you refuse to admit there is a problem...but if it's just a hunch and you're being reassured by everyone, I can totally see how it could happen. I dont' think anyone should judge anyone else for their parenting decisions. I highly doubt a parent would deny services to his/her child if they knew their child would benefit from it. It's getting to that point that's hard for some people.
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| Posted 3/20/08 4:20 PM |
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EmmaNick
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Member since 12/06 16001 total posts
Name:
*
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Re: Why as a parent do people put off getting their child help?
Some are in denial I'm sure and some have been told by their doctors, friends, relatives etc. that "all kids progress at different rates, he/she is fine..just wait". Heck, how often do we see that on here?
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| Posted 3/20/08 4:31 PM |
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Selden78
I lvoe the fall :)
Member since 6/06 3543 total posts
Name:
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Re: Why as a parent do people put off getting their child help?
becasue they are lazy, or dont put there kids as a priority , why that is i do not know
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| Posted 3/20/08 4:48 PM |
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Selden78
I lvoe the fall :)
Member since 6/06 3543 total posts
Name:
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Re: Why as a parent do people put off getting their child help?
ok I just read a few more posts, denial would possable be the main fact....my other response was in response to the subject in a more general term
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| Posted 3/20/08 4:50 PM |
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ckone
LIF Adult
Member since 8/06 3014 total posts
Name:
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Re: Why as a parent do people put off getting their child help?
I worked with someone that said that she just couldn't take the time off of work.....terrible really.
Her son is now very sick.
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| Posted 3/20/08 6:10 PM |
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