will I always be so weak...what should I be doing here?

so, the last few nights Luce has woken up to feed and has stayed UP. first two nights it was from 3-4, last night from 5:00 on (he "napped" for a half an hour at 7 am but never went back to sleep..his normal wake up time is 7:30)

this is in addition to his regular wake ups (2.5-3 hours like clock work)

after I fed him I put him back in the crib but he woke up. and he was laying there awake.

not crying. not fussing. just alone in his crib.

I got up to make sure his paci was in his mouth and it too ALL OF MY STRENGTH to walk away from the crib when I saw his eyes were open. his big soulful eyes

I but his mobile on (he loves it) but I felt SO GUILTY for leaving him there alone.

I am pretty sure I shouldn't but I can't help it. I have a HUGE issue leaving him in the crib, in the dark, believing he is alone.

I have more of an issue with it than he does

what is wrong with me?! I need sleep but the thought of just letting him do his thing while I slept in my bed...that was just NOT happening It broke my heart, the thought of it, so I took him out after 2 songs and played with him.

ugh...I do NOT want a crying momma's boy...am I headed in that direction?

Message edited 3/5/2010 2:14:37 PM.

Re: will I always be so weak...what should I be doing here?

I must have no heart b/c I do this and don't feel bad

Re: will I always be so weak...what should I be doing here?

LOL! I'm weaker because whenever Ann wakes up at night, I just bring her into our bed. (But it's mostly because I know when i bring her in she falls right back to sleep, meaning I can get back to sleep sooner!).

So you're weak and I'm selfish!

Re: will I always be so weak...what should I be doing here?

Posted by Marbo

I must have no heart b/c I do this and don't feel bad

Re: will I always be so weak...what should I be doing here?

Posted by kerrycec03

Posted by Marbo

I must have no heart b/c I do this and don't feel bad

me either


Just curious, do you ever use your swing? I found that to be a godsent when DS was under 4 mos old.

Re: will I always be so weak...what should I be doing here?

Posted by Ophelia
up until last week, he had a bigger spot on our bed than I did

Re: will I always be so weak...what should I be doing here?

If he is not crying I would just leave him in there...usually dd falls back asleep in the 15-20 minutes it takes for the mobile to run. There are times I would take her in bed, but there are times I want to sleep on my tummy and not worry about if she is safe in the bed and if dh is asleep I worry about him rolling on her.

Re: will I always be so weak...what should I be doing here?

It sort of gets easier. Joshua wakes up sometimes around 6AM and I see him in the monitor just laying there with his eyes open, in the dark. It is so hard not to run in there and get him but I know now that most days he falls asleep again so I just watch and wait until I see him stretch, turn his head, and fall asleep. It used to be even harder two weeks ago when he would waking up talking! That was killer. The day he woke up singing, I had no strength and went in and grabbed him and smothered him with kisses.

Re: will I always be so weak...what should I be doing here?

Posted by Marbo

I must have no heart b/c I do this and don't feel bad

Re: will I always be so weak...what should I be doing here?

I used to this way too. But I read in several places that babies, much like adults, like quiet contentment.
As sure as we pay taxes, if Luce is need of attention, he'll let you know.

Re: will I always be so weak...what should I be doing here?

Posted by CkGm

Posted by Marbo

I must have no heart b/c I do this and don't feel bad

ummmm... me too

Re: will I always be so weak...what should I be doing here?

I don't know, DH is 3 months and don't leave him in his crib awake-if I know his is awake. I'll let him fuss (not cry, just rustle around) for a minute or two if I hear him but then I can't help but pick him up/rock him, etc.

Re: will I always be so weak...what should I be doing here?

Consider it a sign that your child feels content and safe. Odds are he is a great self-soother and THAT is something to be grateful for!

Abby was similar. I never felt guilty. Now she is happy by herself yet one of the most socially well adjusted toddlers I have ever known and no, I am not just saying that because she is mine.

Re: will I always be so weak...what should I be doing here?

You are actually HELPING him by doing that. Trust me-once he gets to be 9 months or so-you will just be ready for sleep. I catered to my kids every need all night long for 9 months and it killed me and it made one of them anb awful sleeper for a long time. Finallly they are both great sleepers. Add it to the list of things you are going to have to do with/for your kids that may seem negative but are really good

Re: will I always be so weak...what should I be doing here?

I only check on my kids if they are crying. If they are just fussing or making noise, I leave them alone.

I know you are worried he'll think he's all alone but you probably wake up all the time at night too and 9 times out of 10 you won't remember it in the morning. He probably won't either.

Re: will I always be so weak...what should I be doing here?

Posted by Marbo

I must have no heart b/c I do this and don't feel bad

Re: will I always be so weak...what should I be doing here?

I am sooooooo bad.

I never wanted him to think I did not like him or he was in trouble or anything I completely gave him this deep personality in my head.

Now with #2, she is a DREAM. 4 hour stretches. Since I had to hold #1 all the freaking time, I want her to feel just as loved...even though she isn't needy at all. I also want her head just as round as her brother's

DH is likes #1's personality a lot...so he wants to do everything the same...like hold 24/7

Re: will I always be so weak...what should I be doing here?

Posted by DRMom

You are actually HELPING him by doing that. Trust me-once he gets to be 9 months or so-you will just be ready for sleep. I catered to my kids every need all night long for 9 months and it killed me and it made one of them anb awful sleeper for a long time. Finallly they are both great sleepers. Add it to the list of things you are going to have to do with/for your kids that may seem negative but are really good

Re: will I always be so weak...what should I be doing here?

Re: will I always be so weak...what should I be doing here?

I agree with the others- consider yourself lucky and walk away! This is coming from someone who CO-SLEPT for about 5 months (not the first five either!)

Re: will I always be so weak...what should I be doing here?

I know everyone feels differently, and some feel very strongly - but IMO, the BEST thing you can do for him is to leave him alone -

I know it's hard as a Mom - but don't make it about YOU - If he needed/wanted you, he'd let you know it. - If he's simply laying in his crib he's perfectly content there - Leave him alone.

Babies are PEOPLE, we all need some alone time. Just b/c his eyese are open doesn't mean he needs/wants to be held, entertained, cuddled, talked to, cooed at etc etc .........maybe he just wants to chill and digest his snack

Re: will I always be so weak...what should I be doing here?

Posted by pinkandblue

Posted by Marbo

I must have no heart b/c I do this and don't feel bad

same here, if kj ain't crying, he stays in his crib

Re: will I always be so weak...what should I be doing here?

Posted by Marbo

I must have no heart b/c I do this and don't feel bad

Re: will I always be so weak...what should I be doing here?

Re: will I always be so weak...what should I be doing here?