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QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
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With all These PC Threads - Today is the Day for one of my favorite email forwards of the holiday season
I always love this one - this is meant to be a joke, so if you are easily offended, I suggest you stop reading at this point.
CHRISTMAS PARTY ANNOUNCEMENT
Subject: Fw: Xmas Party
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: November 26, 2007
RE: Christmas Party
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 21, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House.
There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols...feel free to sing along.
And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus!
A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00pm.
Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets.
This gathering is only for employees!
Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!
Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Patty
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Memo #2
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: November 27, 2007
RE: Holiday Party
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party."
The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians or those still celebrating Reconciliation Day.
There will be no Christmas tree present.
No Christmas carols sung.
We will have other types of music for your enjoyment. Happy now?
Happy Holidays to you and your family.
Patty
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Memo #3
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: November 28, 2007
RE: Holiday Party
Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table ... you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only"; you wouldn't be anonymous anymore.
How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody?
Forget about the gifts exchange, no gifts exchange are allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy. NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.
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Memo #4
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
To: All Employees
RE: Holiday Party
What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20 begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours.
There goes the party!
Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs.
Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party- or else package everything for you to take it home in little foil doggy baggy. Will that work?
Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from The dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms.
Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men, each will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men's table.
To the person asking permission to cross dress, no cross-dressing allowed though.
We will have booster seats for short people.
Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet.
We cannot control the salt used in the food we suggest for those people with high blood pressure to taste first.
There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics, the restaurant cannot supply "No Sugar" desserts. Sorry!
Did I miss anything?!?!?
Patty
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Memo #5
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All F****** Employees
DATE: November 30, 2007
RE: The F****** Holiday Party
Vegetarian pricks I've had it with you people!!! We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your f****** salad bar, including organic tomatoes.
But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW! I hope you all have a rotten holiday!
Drive drunk and die,
The ***** from HELL!!!!!!!!
*******************
Memo #6
FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Directo r
RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party
I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery and I'll continue to forward your cards to her. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 21st off with full pay.
Happy Holidays!
Joan
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Posted 12/5/08 1:24 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
Deeluvsvinny
DONE
Member since 10/08 4952 total posts
Name:
Whatever
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Re: With all These PC Threads - Today is the Day for one of my favorite email forwards of the holiday season
Love it! 
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| Posted 12/5/08 1:29 PM |
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MissingLI
Such a Big Boy!
Member since 1/06 1602 total posts
Name:
C
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Re: With all These PC Threads - Today is the Day for one of my favorite email forwards of the holiday season
Awesome!
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| Posted 12/5/08 1:31 PM |
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Tulips915
................
Member since 8/08 6851 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: With all These PC Threads - Today is the Day for one of my favorite email forwards of the holiday season
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| Posted 12/5/08 1:36 PM |
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Hi-Fi55
12 years...wow....
Member since 2/06 2984 total posts
Name:
Dianne
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Re: With all These PC Threads - Today is the Day for one of my favorite email forwards of the holiday season
Love it!
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| Posted 12/5/08 1:40 PM |
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longford73
Welcome to the world Baby Boy!
Member since 8/06 3127 total posts
Name:
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Re: With all These PC Threads - Today is the Day for one of my favorite email forwards of the holiday season
That's great!
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| Posted 12/5/08 1:49 PM |
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Christine
2nd verse same as the 1st
Member since 5/05 15287 total posts
Name:
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Re: With all These PC Threads - Today is the Day for one of my favorite email forwards of the holiday season
That's a classic...just like the summer get a pedicure email.
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| Posted 12/5/08 1:51 PM |
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seaside
LIF Adult
Member since 6/08 3101 total posts
Name:
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Re: With all These PC Threads - Today is the Day for one of my favorite email forwards of the holiday season
Awesome!
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| Posted 12/5/08 1:52 PM |
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Jenn627
Laaaaaaaambert!
Member since 5/08 9818 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: With all These PC Threads - Today is the Day for one of my favorite email forwards of the holiday season
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| Posted 12/5/08 1:54 PM |
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Chrisnamy
Summer is coming soon
Member since 1/07 3991 total posts
Name:
Amy
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Re: With all These PC Threads - Today is the Day for one of my favorite email forwards of the holiday season
love it!!!!
I sent it to my HR friend!
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| Posted 12/5/08 1:57 PM |
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GrayStreet09
LIF Toddler
Member since 8/08 400 total posts
Name:
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Re: With all These PC Threads - Today is the Day for one of my favorite email forwards of the holiday season
Posted by Christine
That's a classic...just like the summer get a pedicure email.
What this one? Never seen the summer pedicure one before
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| Posted 12/5/08 1:59 PM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: With all These PC Threads - Today is the Day for one of my favorite email forwards of the holiday season
Posted by GrayStreet09
Posted by Christine
That's a classic...just like the summer get a pedicure email.
What this one? Never seen the summer pedicure one before
ooh nerither have i!
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| Posted 12/5/08 2:46 PM |
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MissRadiant
Happily Ever After
Member since 9/08 2534 total posts
Name:
N
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Re: With all These PC Threads - Today is the Day for one of my favorite email forwards of the holiday season
This was great
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| Posted 12/5/08 3:18 PM |
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Superkat
More a stranger than a friend
Member since 5/06 9730 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: With all These PC Threads - Today is the Day for one of my favorite email forwards of the holiday season
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| Posted 12/5/08 3:37 PM |
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WhatNow
Say Cheese!
Member since 1/06 8033 total posts
Name:
A (formerly WhatNow?)
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Re: With all These PC Threads - Today is the Day for one of my favorite email forwards of the holiday season
Awesooooome!!!
Somebody post the summer pedicure e-mail!!!!
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| Posted 12/5/08 3:46 PM |
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jam11308
Member since 11/07 7273 total posts
Name:
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Re: With all These PC Threads - Today is the Day for one of my favorite email forwards of the holiday season
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| Posted 12/5/08 4:00 PM |
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QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
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Re: With all These PC Threads - Today is the Day for one of my favorite email forwards of the holiday season
can someone post the following:
there's a forward where it's a guy who moves upstate and initially loves all the snow he sees, but eventually goes crazy
there's another one where a woman is writing thank you letters to her BF during the 12 days of christmas. He sends her the stuff from the song every day and by the 12th day she's p*ssed 
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| Posted 12/5/08 4:03 PM |
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