Working Mom & Guilt

I started work a few days ago, and it's early, I'm sure the job will get harder, but so far, I love being back at work. I love the steadiness of the day, not all the constant struggling (DS is 31 months), negotiating, incredibly cute wonderful moments, followed by screaming and tantrums.

That said, I feel bad about this. I miss him while I'm at work, and feel as if a part of me was left behind. Each morning I've left him at daycare, he cries and clings, but when I get to work 15 minutes later and call to see how he's doing, they always tell me he's fine. He says he likes daycare, but he wants Mommy. So I know in time, he'll adjust. But I still feel awful for leaving him each morning, eventhough I tell myself others do it at a much younger age, and I was very lucky to be able to stay home so long.

Then I pick him up, and everything is wonderful for a little while. Then the usual toddler madness sets in again, and I wind up irritated with him and exhausted after the whole day. DH cannot do the pick-up or drop-off most days--he has to leave for work too early and gets home too late. But I'm tired and my patience doesn't last long. Then I feel bad about being irritated with him, but lately he drives me nuts (this was true well before I went back to work). So I just feel this cycle of guilt throughout the day.

I know it will probably get better with time, but please tell me it does!

Re: Working Mom & Guilt

I go back to work on Tuesday and I know this is how I'm going to feel too. DD is only 5 1/2 months and generally she does great, but when she had bad naps or cranky moments, it really takes a toll on me - I'm not the most patient person and I'm a first time mom so I take what she does really personally - I know I shouldn't but I can't help it so I'm afraid, I don't have any advice - just empathy and hugs. I'm going to miss her like crazy while I'm at work but I know I'm also going to be happy to be on a schedule again myself, to have time to myself, and to not have to deal with the crankies and nap-strikes, and I do feel pretty guilty that I feel this way.

Re: Working Mom & Guilt

I hear you, and I hope your return to work is easier than you expect! The worst part of the day is leaving him in the morning, though I do think about him a lot during the day. But the morning is the hardest time for me (and him it would seem).

But the days are so sane--no roller coaster of emotional ups and downs, no time outs, no distraction exercises. And I enjoy the little things--having some time to myself, eating a warm lunch (heck, eating lunch!). I didn't go out at lunch this week because I wanted to spend time meeting my coworkers, but I'm sure I will do this in time.

Your little one will probably do fine! And so will you, I'm sure it will all just take time.

Re: Working Mom & Guilt

I feel the same way. I'm a teacher and I'm off for the summer. I dare say that I actually miss work! At work there is a schedule, there is predictability and I actually get some quiet time in. DS is 12 months old and he is just go-go-go from the minute he wakes up until he crashes at night. It doesn't help that he is nursing an ear infection. Although I love that I get to be both a working mom for 10 months and a SAHM for 2 months, I feel guilty at work missing DS and I feel guilty during the summer missing work. You just can't win!!