Working mom's guilt??

I don't think I have guilt perse, but a strong desire to spend more quality time with DD. I can't figure out how to balance it all.

I'm am extremely fortunate to work from home 2 days a week to get in a few extra hours. I do have a sitter here and pretty much work most of the day. I'm "jealous" listening to them play.

When I'm in the office, I get easily frustrated with people that get dramatic about little things or expect things from me that I find unimportant or a waste of time. I'm constantly thinking I can find sooo many better things to do with my time (like be home with DD) rather than get worked up over something so little.

How do I get past this????

Re: Working mom's guilt??

I really dont have an answer but I just wanted to send some

Re: Working mom's guilt??

I am too a working mom, but the difference is my husband stays home during the day. I am so jealous when they call me at work and are having fun and playing. I feel like I am missing out on everything. I have never wanted to stay home so bad, having my ds has changed everything. Then I also feel guilty when I get home from work and have to make dinner and straighten up the house, I feel like I am neglecting him. Sorry I don't mean to rant.... Thanks.

Re: Working mom's guilt??

You know what? I don't think it's something you need to get past. I think that it's given you perspective, and that's not a bad thing. I feel the same way at work, and I think it's wonderful that my whole life doesn't revolve around work anymore. It's nice to leave there and not bring the drama home with me. I think it'll always be hard to hear the sitter and DD playing while you're home, but you can use that to motivate you to get your work done to go spend time with her

Re: Working mom's guilt??

I wish I could help you, but I feel no guilt at all for working, and THAT makes me feel guilty!

Re: Working mom's guilt??

At times I feel the same way, but I just try and do as much with them when I get home. From the time I get home to the time they go to bed, we are all together, playing outside, reading books, eating dinner together. I make the time we have together really count. I beleive in quality time not the quaniity of it.

When I do have off I feel like I tend to not even spend more time with them, I try to get other things done and I feel like if I am at work I day, I cherish the few hours after work I have with them.

Re: Working mom's guilt??

I agree with Rachel - I don't think you should try to get over it, so to speak, but use that to stay focused and stay grounded, and remember what's really important.

I find that now, even when work gets crazy and busy, I step back for a moment, breathe and remember that my priority is my family. Sure, I could take work home with me to get a little more ahead, but I won't. It will get done, and if it means it takes a little longer, it's worth it.

At the same time, when I do feel that guilt, or jealousy about her bonding so well with others, like her teacher (Kathleen), I remember too, that at the same time, I'm so proud to be setting such a wonderful example for my daughter so she will grow up and pursue everything she dreams for herself. And, I try to remember that it's so good for her, socially, to be able to form these bonds and interact with others.

Re: Working mom's guilt??

New poster here:

I am having a huge problem with this as well. I work far from home & I have an awful commute. I drop DD off at daycare at 7 am. she is the first one there. And she is the last one picked up, usually by DH or MIL or SIL because I'm not home until after 7 pm. I see her for 2 hours a day but I am so ****** off and cranky by the time I get home that I can't enjoy our time together. I feel completely useless and not like a mother at all. I don't even feed her one meal a day.

I sit here at my desk completely resentful that I am at work & not home with her. I have been looking for a job closer to home but nothing yet. I feel like quitting

Re: Working mom's guilt??

Jodi- I am feeling the same exact way. I work from home two days a week two and it almost (not really) makes it harder because it is sort of in my face that I can't just be with him.

I hate being away from him, even though it is a "break" to be at work. I am so grateful that I can be at home two days a week but I just wish I could be a SAHM.

On some levels, the actual job is easier because I care so much less about it!

Re: Working mom's guilt??

Re: Working mom's guilt??

Re: Working mom's guilt??

Re: Working mom's guilt??

I've been working on an on-off basis since April and definitely know how you feel about being away all day. I'm starting a new job in about 2 weeks and am dreading this particular aspect of being a career mom. Although financially, we are in NO position for me to stay home, I think on an intellectual level I would work even if I could. I really enjoy working and I love what I do. Is there guilt in that, sure. But I try to think of it as more of a balance. I get my intellectual stimulation at work and then come home for the most amazing emotional welcome ever (and that look on his face is priceless). I remind myself of the ever-true adage that a happy mommy, makes a happy baby.
's to all you ladies stuggling with this.

By the way, I reserve the right to come on here after starting the new job to cry about how much I miss Jack


This book has been recommended by colleagues of mine to give as suggested reading to working mom's dealing with this guilt. I haven't read it but I've read a few reviews. They said it's pretty one-sided (some SAHM's were kind of put off by it) but it did help some working mom's put that guilt into perspective. Again, I haven't read it, so please don't flame me if it's horrible:

The Feminine Mistake, by Leslie Bennetts

Re: Working mom's guilt??