Working parents...

How do you juggle everything? I don't even mean housework (I really could care less about that ), I mean the BIG stuff like DC, your job and your spouse?
Recently, I feel like I have been focusing so much on my family and I am letting work slip. The worst part, I think my boss is noticing
I have a pretty high powered job at a very high powered firm (I work for a wall street firm) and I feel like I am recently unable to balance my personal life with my professional life. The kicker of it is, I don't think I really want to any more! DH and I are CONSTANTLY talking about what we would need to give up for me to be a SAHM. We live pretty "freely" so it would mean a lot but there are so many days that I feel it would be so worth it.
I don't know if I am looking for advice, a kick in the butt, a hug, or what.

Thanks for letting me vent

Re: Working parents...

I'm going to give you hugs!!!

Re: Working parents...

Honestly, you can't. It's not possible because we can only do so much. I'm stuck at work because I have a mountain of work to do but I should have left early because dd isn't feeling well. Unfortunately, I can't put her first right now. It rips my heart out but like you said, SAH right now isn't possible.

Re: Working parents...

Posted by FelAndJon

How do you juggle everything? I don't even mean housework (I really could care less about that ), I mean the BIG stuff like DC, your job and your spouse?
Recently, I feel like I have been focusing so much on my family and I am letting work slip. The worst part, I think my boss is noticing
I have a pretty high powered job at a very high powered firm (I work for a wall street firm) and I feel like I am recently unable to balance my personal life with my professional life. The kicker of it is, I don't think I really want to any more! DH and I are CONSTANTLY talking about what we would need to give up for me to be a SAHM. We live pretty "freely" so it would mean a lot but there are so many days that I feel it would be so worth it.
I don't know if I am looking for advice, a kick in the butt, a hug, or what.

Thanks for letting me vent

Re: Working parents...

I couldn't and it was noticed and things were said to me many times. Right now I'm out on STD waiting for baby #2 and I'm not going back to my current employer (many reasons - mostly location). Between handling the bank accounds, the day care, the household chores, dinner, food shopping, work (which I didn't manage well at all) I was at my end when I finally went out. It really bigs me because there are so many people that are able to manage and I wonder what is wrong with me personally. Towards the end I couldn't stay late ot come in early and that didn't work where I was. It's hard......Maybe you'll be able to wrap your brain around it in time. I just never found my groove. I think if I had more help from DH or someone I could have done a better job.

You sound like a really bright woman and I'm sure you'll be able to find a groove.

Re: Working parents...

Felice

DH and I have our own business...I have taken on 2 new clients this month and I'm basically working 4 jobs DH is the office manager, but his workload is much less than mine. I don't know how I'm juggling...but we seem to be managing. I also do a little traveling. I am going away for 10 days in the middle of February. I am going to see 2 clients who are on the west coast...now, while I will be away for a long period of time (longer than usual), I am killing 2 birds with 1 stone by seeing them both (staying over the weekend). I think DH is going to fly out to see me for the weekend and the kids will go to my parents. This way, we all get a little vacation.

Now, DH and I both work from home...so we are now together more than ever...but we are also at each others throats being on top of each other so much. DD started daycare a few weeks ago. Honestly...she likes it and it makes life so much easier for us. She was getting into everything, and trying to keep her occupied while working, just wasn't productive to any of us. Now...she goes to daycare during the day, and comes home about 3:30. At 5, I usually stop working and we all have dinner together, DD gets a bath, playtime and in bed between 6:30-7:00. If I have more work to finish, I do it after she is in bed.

It's been tough...but I'm know in my heart I could not be happy not working, so we make it work.

Good luck in whatever you decide.

PS. Sorry so long

Re: Working parents...

I felt very much the same way when I worked for a litigation firm. Before I had Alex, I loved my job - afterwards, I found it virtually impossible to balance my work with my personal life. So, of course, my work started to suffer, and like you, I got to the point where I really didn't care. I knew in my heart my priority would ALWAYS be my family.

So, I decided to venture out and find a job in my field where the sacrifices wouldn't be quite so harsh, so I COULD balance my work and personal life. Now I work for the federal government. Now, I work 40 hours a week, max, instead of 50-60. My quality of life is tremendous - I spend more time with Alex and DH then I could have ever dreamed of, and at the same time, because I'm a happier mommy and wife, I'm thriving at work.

I don't think it's necessarily a question between working and not working, but maybe finding a different, alternative work environment?

Re: Working parents...

Thank you all for your honesty.
I think you all have great points. Maybe it isn't working in general, maybe it is the work I am doing. My boss called me in for a meeting tomorrow. Maybe I will discuss other opportunities with her.
I love the company I work for and the benefits are amazing. It is just killing me that I have to sacrifice so much to be successful here and I am not willing to give up my family just for that.

Re: Working parents...

I feel the same way, only theres no free living here, thats for sure - which makes things more frustrating...

Re: Working parents...

Aww Felice

I totally know how you feel. I'm in the same situation with the high powered job and VERY high demands. I set the bar so high for myself pre-baby and always enjoyed working. Heck, I even was working while in labor that morning and was working about a week after I had him (without pay). Sick! I know. I knew things had to change and I expressed my concerns to my boss.

Luckily I have a fantastic boss who knows my work ethic and doesn't question what I do and when I do it. And also doesn't question when I need some time for myself. Otherwise I think I'd go crazy! I realize how fortunate I am with him and it isn't like that anywhere else. Which makes it hard to walk away from. In addition, I have amazing perks and they keep givng me raises for no good reason. But, I still work a lot Probably at least 50 - 60 hours per week and . I do a lot of the o/t at night when DS is sleeping and on the weekends (again, when DS is sleeping). I try not to take away any time from my baby because of work. It happens sometimes but I make a conscious effort not to as much as I can. However, my relationship with DH has been effected. So I guess you can say I haven't solved it yet. I would definately say though that my drive to work has lessened but at the same token I still get the same amount of output as I did before.

In terms of staying at home, its not an option for me because I make most of the money. You should take a look at what you think you could do without and see if you can make is happen. Or, perhaps find something less demanding. I know it's a hard decision.

Re: Working parents...

I know how you feel. Is there anyway to ask for you to wok from home one day a week? I work from home 2 days a week and without it, I'd be a lunatic. I know that on the 3 days I'm in the city I'm out by 7 am and home at 6:45pm. It's impossible to get anything done. At night I'm so exhausted after bathing DD and putting her to bed. {{hugs}} - you're not alone!

Re: Working parents...

It is SO not easy, and you don't sound like you have an easy profession to work around.
Having kids changes more than we think or hoped for. But it is SOO worth it in the end

Re: Working parents...

Well, first I'll give you a .

Next, I'll answer your question: I don't juggle everything at the same time. There is always somehting that suffers. Unfortunately for me at this moment, I think it's my family .