Would you be upset? Daycare issue...

So last week was Jake's first week at my Dad's house. His wife (I refuse to call her my "stepmom" ) is the primary caregiver, my Dad is like the backup but he's there 85% of the time. Being that it's his grandchild, I knew they would be a little more...I dunno, "lenient" I guess is the word with the rules I laid down for them.

I called everyday and everything went fine. Or so I thought. On friday when I called, my Dad told me that I should check Jake out when he gets home because he thinks he can't hear out of one side! WHAT?!?! My heart dropped into the pit of my stomach and I'm sure I went pale.

"And why do you say this?" I asked.
"Because, when my sister was here the other day and she was cleaning his ears..."

EXCUSE ME??? She was doing WHAAAAT?!?!? I totally FLIPPED out on him AND his wife. I just can't believe that after all the things I told them NOT to do, they let my aunt go over there and start poking things in his ears!!

Jake is 100% fine, as I suspected, and I am going to have the Ped double check everything at his appt this week.

But would this upset you too?? I mean, my ped said NOTHING goes in the baby's ears. I guess this is one of the downfalls of having family watch your baby - they think it's okay to do things like this.

Re: Would you be upset? Daycare issue...

WOW! I would be upset too...not only for the cleaning of the ears, but for the fact they let someone else do it! I'm sorry you have to go through this. You have every right to be upset!



Glad to hear Jake is doing ok!

Re: Would you be upset? Daycare issue...

I would be upset also. I've had it out with my MIL over issues when she watched my kids (feeding them junk food, allowing FIL to smoke IN the car with them, giving them toys every time she saw them, etc).

In the end, I had to let it go - if I asked her to watch them I needed to trust her judgement or pick someone else to do it (which is why she didn't get to watch them for a LONG time after she let her husband smoke in the car with my son who had recovered from RSV).

Wait till teething starts & they suggest giving the baby brandy. It's amazing any of us survived our parents poor judgement. Sigh...

Hang in there - stand your ground when it's important but in the end be prepared with another backup if they continue to disregard your wishes.

Re: Would you be upset? Daycare issue...

I would definitley be upset as well. I had/have the same issues as my mom and ILs watch Claire. Becuase of some of my MIL's comments/actions she did not watch Claire until she was 10 months old and still I am very protective in asking lots of questions when she watches her. I trust my mom a lot more, but I have had similar issue with her as well. For instance I told her about 100 times no eggs until she is 1 year, well guess what she had for lunch when she was 9 months! Its hard to give up control of the situation but in the end you have to remember that you trusted them for a reason and unfortuantly if they are doing you the favor of caring for your baby you have to let them have some control, or look for someone else.... As if it is not hard enough to have to work and leave the baby, we have to worry about these things too....

Re: Would you be upset? Daycare issue...

OMG my mouth just dropped open. Cleaning the ears??? WHA!!!

I'd be extremely

Re: Would you be upset? Daycare issue...

I would be pis sed too! I don't know who that aunt thinks she is. I would be annoyed if my Mom did it, but not upset but anyone other than her- um hel1 no!

Re: Would you be upset? Daycare issue...

Here-here....who was she to make a judgement call on your baby. If she thought the cleanliness of his ears was a big issue, she should have addressed that concern to YOU, not take it upon herself to act on it. Unreal!

I could go on for days as to why I only let my MIL watch my baby under dire circumstances or why her visits are supervised!

Re: Would you be upset? Daycare issue...

I would be upset!!!! You asked them not to do certain things and that's not right that they did that. You have every right to be upset!!!!