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jambalady
Is it summer yet?
Member since 8/06 7392 total posts
Name:
Holly
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WWYD - Advice on lending baby stuff to friend
Ladies,
I need some advice on a situation. I have a good friend who is expecting twins in early December.
She has asked me several times if she can borrow any of DS's newborn stuff that he does not use anymore (clothes, swing, snuzzler, bundle me, ANYTHING).
I don't want to seem like a bad friend, but DH and I want to ttc for #2 within the year and I'm afraid of my stuff getting ruined by the time she returns it.
I feel awful bc she is having twins and needs tons of stuff, but the truth is, she and her DH are very well off and can afford everything themselves. I just think they think it is a waste of $$ bc babies go through all that stuff so quickly and with twins, they are basically done afterwards and then they would have all this baby stuff to store/get rid of if they bought their own.
WWYD? Am I being completely selfish?
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Posted 11/19/08 11:35 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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Tine73
Member since 3/06 22093 total posts
Name:
*********
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Re: WWYD - Advice on lending baby stuff to friend
No, I know how you feel. One of my friends let me borrow a ton of her stuff (I didn't even ask). It's still sitting in the boxes bc I was afraid that DD would ruin it.
I'm not sure what I would do if someone asked me to borrow DD's clothes. A lot of her clothes were expensive and I wouldn't want anything to happen to them since we are planning on a #2.
So I realize I have no pint whatsoever, but I do understand!  And no, you are not selfish!
Can you give her things you weren't crazy about the first time around?
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| Posted 11/19/08 11:41 AM |
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Calla
My girls
Member since 7/05 4303 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD - Advice on lending baby stuff to friend
I would hold back any sentimental items, but lend her the rest on the condition that she lends you all her cool stuff when you have #2. 
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| Posted 11/19/08 11:43 AM |
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clmj2
cant believe hes gone
Member since 3/07 4407 total posts
Name:
Candice
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Re: WWYD - Advice on lending baby stuff to friend
I am not lending out much of my things until DH and I are done having kids...I want my kids to enjoy the things we have purchased first.
I have friends that have had twins, they will be getting plenty of gifts from friends and family and if she is straight out asking to borrow it I dont really agree with that...she should wait until its offered (if ever) and not put you in this position.
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| Posted 11/19/08 11:47 AM |
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sweetie101
you make me smile :o)
Member since 5/08 4419 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD - Advice on lending baby stuff to friend
no because when my brother was done with his walker he lend it to my other brother ex because she was having a baby. well something happend and we dont talk to her anymore,. n now my brother's wife is having a 2nd baby.we asked her many times for it back n till this day she still hasnt given and her son walks now. so my brother learned his lesson not to lend things out because he wont be seeing the walking anymore.
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| Posted 11/19/08 11:47 AM |
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Ang-Rich
Beyond Compare
Member since 5/05 17988 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD - Advice on lending baby stuff to friend
I don't think that you are being selfish at all!
I would suggest telling her that you hope to be trying soon and would like to hold on to what you have. If there are some things that you wouldn't mind lending (in other words you're okay if you never see them again) you can hand those over but otherwise just tell her that you NEED to hold on to things for now.
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| Posted 11/19/08 12:00 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD - Advice on lending baby stuff to friend
I would say that you can only lend what you don't want back & follow suit. Some babies are neater than others, others stain EVERYTHING.
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| Posted 11/19/08 12:02 PM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: WWYD - Advice on lending baby stuff to friend
IMO you are absolutely NOT being selfish.
You are not obligated to lend anyone anything - And honestly, I think it's kind of rude of youir friend to ask you repeatedly ........
There are some people I'd hand things over to in a second b/c I know they'd be JUST as careful and respectful of my things as I would of theirs, and others I'd be  if they asked me ......
I don't think it's wrong of you to tell her you are planning to have more children and want to keep the things in your home for now -
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| Posted 11/19/08 12:10 PM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: WWYD - Advice on lending baby stuff to friend
I would loan it to her but that is just me. I am sure it would not get "ruined"
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| Posted 11/19/08 12:11 PM |
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lovemy2boys
LIF Adult
Member since 10/07 3915 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD - Advice on lending baby stuff to friend
Posted by Ang-Rich
I don't think that you are being selfish at all!
I would suggest telling her that you hope to be trying soon and would like to hold on to what you have. If there are some things that you wouldn't mind lending (in other words you're okay if you never see them again) you can hand those over but otherwise just tell her that you NEED to hold on to things for now.
ITA
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| Posted 11/19/08 12:12 PM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: WWYD - Advice on lending baby stuff to friend
Posted by nrthshgrl
I would say that you can only lend what you don't want back & follow suit.
This is my own personal policy on lending anything. I had bad experiences in the past with lending clothes, CDs, etc. that I don't lend anything now if I can't stand to lose it.
I also only borrow or take hand me downs if the person is OK with me not giving it back or knows it might get damamged by my DS. If you are having a baby, even if it is twins, you can't expect other people to provide the baby or babies with whatever they need. I appreciate every hand me down I get, but I never expect it.
I have a Bundle me she can buy cheap.  
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| Posted 11/19/08 12:16 PM |
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Diane
Hope is Contagious....catch it
Member since 5/05 30683 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: WWYD - Advice on lending baby stuff to friend
Posted by nrthshgrl
I would say that you can only lend what you don't want back & follow suit. Some babies are neater than others, others stain EVERYTHING.
I agree
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| Posted 11/19/08 12:28 PM |
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Lizzy
Carson's Mama
Member since 2/08 2430 total posts
Name:
Elisabeth
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Re: WWYD - Advice on lending baby stuff to friend
Can you give her things you weren't crazy about the first time around?
I agree. Or maybe the big things like a swing or exersaucer that you can easily ask for it back when your  comes
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| Posted 11/19/08 1:50 PM |
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Faithx2
All good things in 2016!!
Member since 8/05 20181 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD - Advice on lending baby stuff to friend
Posted by Ang-Rich
I don't think that you are being selfish at all!
I would suggest telling her that you hope to be trying soon and would like to hold on to what you have. If there are some things that you wouldn't mind lending (in other words you're okay if you never see them again) you can hand those over but otherwise just tell her that you NEED to hold on to things for now.
ITA!
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| Posted 11/19/08 1:56 PM |
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KateDevine
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Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD - Advice on lending baby stuff to friend
I don't think you are being selfish at all. And I am a little shocked she asked to borrow stuff. I think most people hang on to their stuff until they are done.
One of my good friends gives me her DS' clothes all the time, but she and her DH are done (he had the big V) and I have given my SIL all of DS' stuff, but we are done as well.
If you REALLY feel bad, I'd say to give her some stuff you won't miss too much
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| Posted 11/19/08 2:08 PM |
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july0105
My three little miracles
Member since 4/06 2628 total posts
Name:
Alison
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Re: WWYD - Advice on lending baby stuff to friend
Posted by nrthshgrl
I would say that you can only lend what you don't want back & follow suit. Some babies are neater than others, others stain EVERYTHING.
I think this is the best advice. I know way back when my parents lent out my crib and huge coach carriage and even though they asked for them back several times, we never got them. I used to cry about it when I was about 5. I wanted my carriage to put all my dolls in!
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| Posted 11/19/08 2:30 PM |
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