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Samnjenna
LIF Infant
Member since 5/06 297 total posts
Name:
Jenna
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WWYD? Baptism question
Let me preface this by saying I realize that posting a WWYD about a religious issue may result in some strong and varied opinions. This is a very personal decision and I'm having a hard time with it, so I'm just curious if anyone has had a similar experience and if anyone might have a creative solution for me.
Here's the deal. I was raised Catholic, but haven't practiced for a while. DH is christian, but not Catholic. My mother (who doesn't go to church, but is still strongly believes in Catholic traditions) wants my DS to be Baptized -- she doesn't pressure me about, but she's made her feelings very clear. She has told me that she doesn't care which Christian denomination we baptize him into, but she thinks we should do it and do it soon (DS is 6 months old).
DH and I are both very spiritual, but we don't attend any church regularly. DH's position is that he has no problem having DS baptized but he won't stand in a church and make promises he has no intension of keeping. By that he means, he's not Catholic and I have problems with the Catholic church, so why should be baptize our child into the Catholic church? And I agree with him.
The thing is I do believe in the foundations of Christianity and I do want my son to be Blessed and welcomed into the Christian faith. I just haven't found a particular church or denomination that I feel committed to. When I was a kid everyone I knew went to the same church, but now my family alone represents a 1/2 dozen different religions (Lutheran, Catholic, Mormon, Episcopalian, Buddist)
Compounding the issue is that we live about 1000 miles away from our families (each side is in a different direction) and I feel that in addition to the religious aspect of Baptism, there is an important family aspect. I want my baby's baptism to be a time to celebrate with family. Maybe I'm confusing the issue, but that's how I feel.
So, with all these issues, I haven't figured out what to do. But recently I found out that the whole family (both DH's parents and my parents and siblings) will be able to get together this summer. With the opportunity to have the baby's whole family around him I keep thinking I should figure out a way to do this.
But I'm still torn -- my mom says its a religious thing and that we should just go to the nearest Catholic church and do it. My husband says it a matter of joining a church and we shouldn't do it unless we are committed to that particular church. And deep down what I really want is to have my family together to bless my child and welcome him into a Christian life.
WWYD???
TIA
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Posted 3/17/08 2:35 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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beachgirl
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 7967 total posts
Name:
sara
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Re: WWYD? Baptism question
Can you have some sort of a christian blessing in your back yard when all your family are there?
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| Posted 3/17/08 2:37 PM |
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shellybean
Love my Baby Boy!
Member since 4/07 5191 total posts
Name:
mich
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Re: WWYD? Baptism question
i thnk it would be nicer to have him baptized in a church that you will be part of, maybe u should just start looking for a church sooner than later
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| Posted 3/17/08 2:39 PM |
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Samnjenna
LIF Infant
Member since 5/06 297 total posts
Name:
Jenna
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Re: WWYD? Baptism question
Can you have some sort of a christian blessing in your back yard when all your family are there?
That's what I've always wanted to do, but it doesn't satisfy my mother's need for a religious ceremony and what she believes is the purpose of baptism.
Message edited 3/17/2008 2:40:53 PM.
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| Posted 3/17/08 2:39 PM |
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MsMBV
:P
Member since 5/05 28602 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: WWYD? Baptism question
I had almost the exact situation. DH was raised very Catholic, and his family is still vvery active in their church. We are not religious, but spiritual, and agree that religion lays a good foundation for morality (arguable, but bear with me). I have every intention of teaching DS as much as I know and letting him explore on his own any religion he wants.
We Baptised him in a non-denom ceremony. My aunt is a Universalist Unitarian minister, and is very well versed in a wealth of religions, so we wrote a very specialised service and drew from many religions, including Catholicism, Buddhism, Native American beliefs, and Judiasm. It was a beautiful ceremony and everyone was very pleased ... even the staunch Catholics. We used the Historical Chapel to have the ceremony.
My family all lives either on the West Coast or in Europe (and some in Asia), so it was also a meeting the baby kind of situation for us as well. They felt like it was a great ceremony and worth the travel for something more than just a brunch.
HTH
ETA: He was annointed with oil (which is not exclusively Christian, BTW), Blessed, and washed with water. If you do a search you can find a lot of difference between Baptism and Christening. Many cultures and beliefs have used Baptismals for many years BC.
Message edited 3/17/2008 2:42:36 PM.
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| Posted 3/17/08 2:41 PM |
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Samnjenna
LIF Infant
Member since 5/06 297 total posts
Name:
Jenna
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Re: WWYD? Baptism question
i thnk it would be nicer to have him baptized in a church that you will be part of, maybe u should just start looking for a church sooner than later
I see your point. And I would love to be able to do this. But -- without adding too many caveats -- the problem with that is
#1: my DH and I are not the same faith, so it is very unlikely that our family will ever be a part of a single church as a family
#2: right now we are living in the midwest -- where we do not plan to stay, so whatever church we (DS and I) could join would only be temporary
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| Posted 3/17/08 2:43 PM |
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jerseypanda
Life is good.
Member since 1/07 9164 total posts
Name:
Amanda
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Re: WWYD? Baptism question
Posted by Samnjenna
Can you have some sort of a christian blessing in your back yard when all your family are there?
That's what I've always wanted to do, but it doesn't satisfy my mother's need for a religious ceremony and what she believes is the purpose of baptism.
I can definitely understand your being torn. But with all do respect, is satisfying your mother's need for a religious ceremony your main goal here?
In other words, you and DH are the parents and although you can respect your mother's opinion, maybe what she wants is not what you ultimately want. You are the parents and it should really be about what you want for your child. You said in your post that your mother doesn't even go to church anymore. So I don't see why you can't have the religious blessing in that casual environment with your whole family there and make you and DH happy.
I hope this makes sense... I know how hard it can be to make everyone happy. Good luck with your decision!!
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| Posted 3/17/08 3:28 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD? Baptism question
Would a Unitarian church satisfy your mom?
My sister did an outdoor ceremony with a preacher (no idea what religion, but I know it wasn't Catholic). They had a spiritual ceremony & added aspects of other religions (Native American, etc).
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| Posted 3/17/08 3:34 PM |
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Sassyz75
Turning a new page
Member since 5/05 9731 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: WWYD? Baptism question
Posted by shellybean
i thnk it would be nicer to have him baptized in a church that you will be part of, maybe u should just start looking for a church sooner than later
that's what I suggest.
I felt the same way- being sort of a lapsed Catholic- not sure if we should baptize DD or not- but we did it.
and I'm glad we did as this past Ash Wednesday I renewed my committment to church- and find that my feelings for the church now are very different then when I was in my teens.
maybe you should go on sundays to different churches to find one you like.
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| Posted 3/17/08 3:56 PM |
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Sassyz75
Turning a new page
Member since 5/05 9731 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: WWYD? Baptism question
Posted by Samnjenna
i thnk it would be nicer to have him baptized in a church that you will be part of, maybe u should just start looking for a church sooner than later
I see your point. And I would love to be able to do this. But -- without adding too many caveats -- the problem with that is
#1: my DH and I are not the same faith, so it is very unlikely that our family will ever be a part of a single church as a family
#2: right now we are living in the midwest -- where we do not plan to stay, so whatever church we (DS and I) could join would only be temporary
is it the church, or is it the faith.
if you find, for example, that the Methodist church suits both yours and dh's needs- you can join your local one- and then find another when you move?
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| Posted 3/17/08 3:58 PM |
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MrsSteflily
I love chocolate
Member since 4/06 2047 total posts
Name:
Stef
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Re: WWYD? Baptism question
I would start by reserching different faith's and finding the one that matches both you and DH's beliefs. Then go look at them together. talk to the pastors and lay people.
I wouldn't want to rush into a baptism before I was confortable with a faith.
The other option is to let your child decide when DS is older, but that would mean not having a babtism now.
Good luck with whatever decision you decide.
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| Posted 3/17/08 4:34 PM |
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