WWYD...Not IF related for a change

I've mentioned before that my SIL is
pregnant and due mid-May. When she
initially told me that she was preggo
she asked me to be the godmother and i said sure.

At one point me and my SIL had a good relationship. I was the MOH at her wedding however, that changed over a year ago when my brother got sick. I've also mentioned that my little bro contracted encephalitis that initially left him in a coma for over a month. Well during the whole time my SIL didn't bother calling me to see how he was doing or even how I was doing. Meanwhile my little brother was in ICU and the dr's were telling my parents that he probably wouldn't make it. This was a very stressful time for us...one day he was a perfectly healthy 17 year old and the next he was in a coma. I thought this was pretty wrong of her not calling etc ....her excuse...she was to busy moving. ***.

Ok so our relationship changed afterwards...my SIL has a tendency to be very selfish. However, last June my Grandfather who I was extremley close to passed away same thing. No phone call etc. Now this is the sister DH is closest too so I don't want to create too much friction by confronting her but trust me the words going on in my mind werent nice...however, I try to forgive and look past it. Fast forward to now...she's pregnant.

Now I find out although she asked me to be the baby's godmother she also asked one of her co-workers (I found this out through DH). Now if she wants her co-worker to be the god mother fine by me. However, my SIL hasn't called me to officially tell me she rather her co-worker be the godmother. As a matter of fact...she feels that now that she is pregnant everyone has to call her to see how she is doing because of her condition...these are her words not mine. Now I've never been pregnant like that so I don't know how you are supposed to act however I think this is a little absurd. For goodness sake you are pregnant not crippled!

Anyway, the whole point of my long story LOL is that of course my SIL is expecting a shower. I had called her DH a few weeks ago and left him a message asking him to call me in regards to this but this is before my DH told me that she asked her co-worker to be the godmother. IMO, if you asked someone else to be the godmother let her throw you the shower not me. Now her DH has called me 2x and I haven't picked up the phone because I don't know what to say. Honestly, my SIL doesn't have any real friends beside her co-worker because she is super anti-social and critical. My MIL lives in PR and right now shes going through her own issues...I don't even think she planned on being here for the baby shower.


One part of me feels like I should be the bigger person and throw her a small shower and the other part of me feels like since she wants to be such a selfish ****** I shouldn't care if she gets one or not. Any suggestions on what I should do?

Message edited 2/2/2007 9:15:39 PM.

Re: WWYD...Not IF related for a change

I dont mean to be rude...

I'd really like to read this, but I can't...

Can you space it a bit?

Re: WWYD...Not IF related for a change

I agree, I tried, I really really tried, but its so hard to focus. Maybe I'm just really really tired.

Re: WWYD...Not IF related for a change

Ok, that was soooo much better. Its weird how important the visual is.

She is being a brat. I would be the bigger person.... sort of.

I would pretend she never asked me to be Godmother and when I spoke to her DH I would say. can I have the name and number of her co-worker who is going to be the Godmother, I would like to call her and see if she would be interested in helping with the planning.

If she ever says anything, you can go with a casual, Oh I'm sorry, I assumed you changed your mind when I didnt hear from you and I heard the coworker was asked. No hard feelings.

Good luck to you in this situation. She is never going to change so just accept her and the situation for what it is.

Re: WWYD...Not IF related for a change

Re: WWYD...Not IF related for a change

I agree with Pauline. I don't mean to be mean, but I guess this is the reason she has no one close to her except you and a co-worker. She does sound quite selfish.

When I was pregnant, I never held it against anyone for not calling me. I still called people the same way I did before I was pregnant. You're right, she's turning her pregnancy into a handicap.

Now when she asked you to be the Godmother for her child, is your husband the Godfather? If she asked you and asked your husband, then decided to change her mind and ask her co-worker, isn't that going to be a bit awkward? I think it's absolutely disgusting if she did that and I'd really want to get to the bottom of it, if I were you. Maybe you ought to just ask her outright, or have your husband do it.

Message edited 2/5/2007 9:24:31 AM.

Re: WWYD...Not IF related for a change

ok,.,,I kind of feel better knowing I am not the only one whose sil is a witch.
I'm telling u they are related.

This is my opinion...be careful about being the bigger person. I did that and my sil is my daughters godmother. She was prego I did not throw the shower but bought 600.00 worth of stuff!
I was abused by her relatives and treated like crap.
Long story short..in the end they are seperated and my kid suffers.
She has not called in over a year and I am prego now after 8 years of infertility and she could give a crap.

If u do it--u will call yourself a sucker and if u dont do it u will wonder if u should be the bigger person.

I would call her husband and say, do u have the coworkers # so i can see what kind of help I can give them with a shower.
Her dh can throw one or her mom can send money for it to be done.
You can get a nice gift and do the centerpieces and favors say..
Ii think thats enough.

It amazes me how people kiss *** when it benefits them but are nasty to the core otherwise.