Yesterday was DD's first day of preschoool (nursery school) and something the teacher said upset me very much -little long

First let me start by saying DD (3) has never been in daycare or a preschool before . So yesterday was the first day, first 2 weeks are only 2 HR days (signed her up for 2 days , 4 hrs a day)
I went to pick her up,the teacher says hi and says to me " she did well, but little bit too much running around, I don't want to jump on you bc I know it's only the first day, but we try to reinforce sitting in this school and she ran around a bit too much...."
I was caught off guard, didn't know what to say...I was so upset I was almost in tears said ok, bye and walked to my car....
There were few reasons why I got so upset:

a. It was the very FIRST day of school for DD (and most kids there)
b. it was only 2 HOUR day
c. she spoke to me in front of all the other parents.

We DO try to teach DD that she can't run around in the classroom and she has to listen to her teacher, BUT when she goes to school it IS the teacher's job to teach her this as well.
I mean the whole pint of signing her up for a nursery school was so that she can learn how to be in school and prepare her for full time of preschool next year and so on...
This tells me that the teacher is too lazy to deal with DD (or any other kid) running around and she doesn't want to be bothered. Why not give a child a chance , give her some time, at least a week or two, let her adjust a bit and then say something to a parent if you see that nothing you have done is working ...
DH was also very upset and wanted to call a principal, but I talked him out of it, I think I'm going to go up to the teacher tomorrow and try and nicely talk to her.
Every single person I told was
(including a friend who are also preschool teachers , and other family members who are also teachers)

I'm just curious, how would you approach this situation? Would you talk to a teacher ? or a principal? would you not say anything at all and just give it some time? (which honestly I don't think I can do , bc I am still very upset)
Thanks for letting me vent and share ...

Message edited 9/15/2010 10:21:18 AM.

Re: Yesterday was DD's first day of preschoool (nursery school) and something the teacher said upset me very much -little long

i would address it immediately with the teacher. tell her how inappropriate it is to speak to a parent in front of other parents and also that it's the first day and she should be patient. you need to nip this in the bud now. trust me, i have been through this. is this a center based program? is there a director? speak to the teacher first and if you are not satisfied with her response then go to her supervisor.

good luck and let us know how it goes!!

Re: Yesterday was DD's first day of preschoool (nursery school) and something the teacher said upset me very much -little long

I think it's strange that the teacher felt the need to say something on the first day . I could see if it had been a couple weeks and it was an ongoing problem, but geez. That's WHY she's going to preschool...to prepare for Kindergarten. It's the teacher's job to be patient and teach the children proper school behavior, IMO.

Re: Yesterday was DD's first day of preschoool (nursery school) and something the teacher said upset me very much -little long

How old is dd? I mean its preschool they run. Maybe she should find a different path for herself. I wouldnt say anything to the principle. I would tell her to relax a bit and let the kid. Adjust. I understand they want to enforce sitting yada yada, but the first day. Get a grip.

Re: Yesterday was DD's first day of preschoool (nursery school) and something the teacher said upset me very much -little long

I would speak to the teacher and tell her that you were taken aback by her addressing an issue with your child in front of the other parents #1. Then I would tell her that your DD has never been in this type of setting so it may take time for her to understand the expectations. If she has any further issue, ask her to speak with you privately.

Re: Yesterday was DD's first day of preschoool (nursery school) and something the teacher said upset me very much -little long

Re: Yesterday was DD's first day of preschoool (nursery school) and something the teacher said upset me very much -little long

I would talk to the teacher and explain how you feel.
The first day of school she should not have said anything.
I agree with you. Kids need time to adjust.

Re: Yesterday was DD's first day of preschoool (nursery school) and something the teacher said upset me very much -little long

Originally we were not planning on sending DD to preschool this year, but we decided that it would be a good thing for her, since she'll be going full time (5 days) next year and so this will give her a chance to adjust a bit and then this happens.... I wanted to go back and yell at the teacher , to say that she has some nerve coming up to me on THE first day of my DD's PRE school and tell me this.

I'm also so angry at myself for not standing up for my DD and not saying something, but it was so unexpected it almost didn't register right away what she was saying ...
This is just not how I wanted to remember DD's first day of school

Re: Yesterday was DD's first day of preschoool (nursery school) and something the teacher said upset me very much -little long

I can see if it had been a few weeks but not on the first day. It is all new to her. She needs time to adjust being she has never been in a school setting before.

I would address it with the teacher and if you are not happy with the outcome contact the principal.

Re: Yesterday was DD's first day of preschoool (nursery school) and something the teacher said upset me very much -little long

I think thats a bit strange and unappropriate for her to tell you that on the first day of school.

I agree - the children need time to adjust and learn to follow the rules in the classroom (it all takes time) - thats why its called nursery/preK.

Also - She really shouldn't of told you this in front of the other parents. Totally not appropriate. She should of taken you aside if she has something to say about your daughter. How did she expect you to feel - after she told you this in front of all the other parents??

I would not go to the princial as of yet - I would give her the benefit of the doubt one last time. I would wait a few days and then after the kids are dismissed and the parents have left, I would speak with her and ask her ihow your child is doing in the classroom etc.. and then let her know that it was not appropriate to address her like that in front of all the other parents.....

Re: Yesterday was DD's first day of preschoool (nursery school) and something the teacher said upset me very much -little long

First. how old is your DD? I would have been most mad that she said something in front of other parents. I would see how today goes and if she says something again, I would explain that your DD is getting used to school, and that if she has further issues you should all have a conference with the director. That's really absurd. Not all kids, no matter how old, sit and are perfect angels.

Re: Yesterday was DD's first day of preschoool (nursery school) and something the teacher said upset me very much -little long

Re: Yesterday was DD's first day of preschoool (nursery school) and something the teacher said upset me very much -little long

I agree with the other posters - it is my job to discuss behavior with parents. It ALWAYS is done privately, and confidentiality - to avoid any stimatization - which this teacher ineptly and tactlessly did not keep in mind.

I would have asked her - "OK - since she is in school to LEARN, what are YOU doing to teach her to sit? How are you reinforcing it?" (ETA - I would say THIS in front of the other parents - but I'm a beyotch)

I would also tell her that since the environment at home does not require her to sit as much, that it is not as much of an issue for you as the mom, and therefore not a skill you get to address as much. However - you would LOVE to receive strategies on how to follow through.

And, if it continues, I will give you my favorite quote in the whole world when it comes to learning:

"If a student does not learn a skill, it is not HIS/HER fault. It is the fault of the teacher for not TEACHING it in a way that the child can learn."





I have absolutely no patience for tecahers who complain about skills that it is THEIR job to teach.

Message edited 9/15/2010 10:32:36 AM.

Re: Yesterday was DD's first day of preschoool (nursery school) and something the teacher said upset me very much -little long

That was inappropriate and come on its the first day of school AND she is only 3 for crying out loud!!!!!!! Definitely pull the teacher to the side and have a few words with her! 1-your daughter is 3 and not 6, 2-first day of school, 3-inappropriate to comment in front of other parents.

Re: Yesterday was DD's first day of preschoool (nursery school) and something the teacher said upset me very much -little long

WOW, I would be livid! I think the next time you drop DD off, let the teacher know (hopefully in front of other parents) that you would like to have a word with her after class. Let her stress for those two hours what you may want to say to her. Then let her know that you felt it was completely inappropriate for her to discuss your DD in front of others. And tell her that although you do not encourage your DD to run in school, she is 3 years old and needs some time to adjust. And not only that, but it is her role as the teacher to be on top of her classroom. And then go speak with the director and let her know the situation with the teacher.

Re: Yesterday was DD's first day of preschoool (nursery school) and something the teacher said upset me very much -little long

I just wanted to add that Michael's teacher would mention to me (after I asked) that sometimes he wouldn't sit through circle time or that he was running around or that he was on a hitting frenzy, etc etc. and I didn't get upset at all bc 1-he was 2 and 2-she spoke to me on the side and in an understanding tone that suggested that yes he did those things but he is only 2 and his behavior is very common. So if the teacher made you uncomfortable, you should definitely mention it to her. Becca is a good girl and its her first time in nursery school...this teacher should really give the kids a break!

Re: Yesterday was DD's first day of preschoool (nursery school) and something the teacher said upset me very much -little long

When you go back tomorrow I would wait be the last parent to get there child then tell her you were upset with a few things she discussed with you on Tuesday.

Tell her that if she needs to speak to you about DD then to please do so after all the parents have picked up their child and you will wait.

I don't know if I would say anything about her running around. It would annoy me but how do you tell a teacher to do her job, KWIM. I think it is odd that she said something to you in the first place. It was the first day of school and kids need to get acquainted with the class room. If you do want to say something maybe ask her if they go over class room rules regularly, like keeping your hands and feet to yourself, no throwing, no running. I know in my kids school they did go over it but I am not sure how often. It is also a catholic school.

Re: Yesterday was DD's first day of preschoool (nursery school) and something the teacher said upset me very much -little long

What? sitting down in preschool? when maddie went last year I think the only sitting they did was when they ate snack!!!

Re: Yesterday was DD's first day of preschoool (nursery school) and something the teacher said upset me very much -little long

BTDT - the first day of preschool with my firstborn. I was very upset bc the teacher seemed to find him annoying and said he has to learn to sit. He was the outlier of the class, he seemed to not want to sit or fall in line as quickly or easily as the rest of the kids. I remember being so upset and not wanting to send him back. I gave it another chance and it ended up being my favorite preschool teacher, all 3 of my kids had her and she is great. She really loves my son, even now, he's 8 and she's always asking about him or talking about him and how smart and handsome he is. In retrospect i'm sure she was stressed, it was the first day.

I'd say give it a chance and see. I wouldn't say anything unless it becomes an ongoing issue of constantly telling you what your child is "doing wrong" Don't sweat your child not sitting or anything. Schools want the kids to all behave a certain way, I don't blame them, wouldn't it be great if all kids were perfectly behaved right out of the womb but kids are all different.

Years later, my DS is still not the average child which I love. But he mastered sitting in the classroom and other school behaviors and his first day of school which had me so upset seems like a million years ago.

Give it a chance