Your thoughts on this situation.

Now believe I am also guilty of this at times myself but I'm a little po'ed at this situation. And some of you might flame me but...

My mom takes my dd to a library program on Fridays. For the last 3 weeks there has been a boy who is about 4 there too. It is a music program that is very hands on. Well for the last 2 weeks he has been pushing and elbowing the other kids to get to the front or just to get other kids out of his way. Well he pushed my dd last week 2x and my dd who is a toughy screamed Hey you hurt me. Well of course everyone looked but the boy's mom said and did nothing.

Well yesterday the same kid pushed some other kids and then elbowed my dd to get another turn at what ever the activity was. My mom said something to the kid and all of a sudden that's when his mom comes over screaming Don't discipline my child! Well my mom was not about to make a scene but she did say to her Well maybe you should supervise your child a little more closely. Her and a few other mothers just stand in the back chatting away while other like my mom sit and even participate with them. Well the lady didn't like that either.

Now as a mother of 3 believe me I am thrilled when I get to talk to other moms and yes one or two times I have been guilty of losing site of my kids for a minute and then you remember they must be your first responsibility. But this kids is the biggest in the group and is aggressive. You should be watching your child. Thank god my dd will speak up. And let me tell you she was Pi$$ed and said to him-Hey don't push!!

Your thoughts???

Re: Your thoughts on this situation.

You mom was right to speak up....I've done it before..I told a child at the playground to stop what he was doing...this child blocked the slide so no other kids could go down. He would NOT move. I told him nicely that he needed to go down so the other kids could go...the mom seemed annoyed that I spoke up but TOO BAD.

And ESPECIALLY in your situation...when a child is hurting other kids...you have every right to tell the child it isn't nice or right etc...the mom should know better and discipline herself but sadly many moms don't. They are either oblivious or don't care.

She did the right thing!!!

Re: Your thoughts on this situation.

I believe that your mom was right to speak up. It's not like she screamed at the child or anything.

In the gym class that we go to, it's pretty much been the same kids for about a year. Well, if one child is particularly aggressive, whoever is the closest will say something like "that's not nice" or something like that. I don't think anyone has ever gotten mad like that mother did. I know I certainly don't if it's ever done to Steven (and it has been). it's just like, if the parent is talking and the child is climbing on something, whoever is closest will 'spot' the child until the parent comes over. That's what we have to do...all look out for each other. But none of us, by any means get caught up in covo and let the kids run wild.

My point being that...when it's done to Steven, I would never get mad (unless the parent crossed the line and grabbed him or got real loud), and I would have done the same (again, not over the line but in a nice way).

Re: Your thoughts on this situation.

IMO you need to know your child and what they are about and behave accordingly as the parent. In the situation you outlined, if you know you know you have an aggressive child, it's your job to supervise more closely. Nothing wrong with bringing him there - he's only 4 and needs to learn social skills or perhaps struggles with learning them. But whatever the case, as the parent, to do nothing is unacceptable. If that was my child, I would make it a point to be a participating parent rather than one chatting in back. Like you said, I don't fault anyone for chatting in the back - we all enjoy that social interaction with other parents while the kids are occupied. But if it's not a situation that your child handles well with less supervision, you need to be on top of it. I have 3 kids, one is still a baby (under 2) but with my older ones - I know that in that situation at 4 years old - one of them would be fine and I could be the chatty Mom in back in that situation. With my other, I know that I'd have to be more hands on for everyone's benefit. That mother's behavior helps no one - not the other children or her own child. I'm glad your Mom spoke up. Hopefully the woman will get a clue. Probably not but hopefully.