Teenagers, oy.

When my kids were smaller people used to talk about the teenage years but I thought "nah, not my kids". Let me tell you, these years from 16-19 are hellish. Yeah, its great that they are adults and can actually hold real conversations about politics and the news, but they are so snotty sometimes (and your best friend other times). It sends me running to the bathroom in tears sometimes. And the worry! Real worry about real conversations, drugs, pregnancy, plan B, abortion. How I miss worrying about playdates and friends and failing a test.

Has anyone noticed their kids more pissy than usual lately? Maybe exasperated by Covid and the election (which they feel really strongly about)? It's got me stressed, all of it.

Teenagers, oy.

While I do not have a teenager, I teach them. I always say I will take little people problems over teenage problems any day.

I think a lot has to do with how their lives are so different now. Even a known thing like school which provides many with comfort is different. The kids in my class barely socialize with each other - even when I am begging them to interact. Pre-covid they would use their phones and what not, but they would at least talk with each other. We are in November and these kids still barely interact even though I am encouraging them... Their entire world has been flipped upside down. They are not adults, but are perceived that way. They are straddling the fence and it is a scary time for them.

Re: Teenagers, oy.

It’s the worse, you think it gets easier because they are really independent but it’s a whole new set of worries that is scarier. Driving is another scary one. Hang in there!

Re: Teenagers, oy.

My oldest daughter is 15. Yes, she's definitely been more difficult than normal the past few months. It's largely been due to the pandemic & social restrictions. "Hanging out" & socialization is the single most important thing in her world. She had a very hard time understanding that I am not just being "strict", "unfair" & "treating her like she's 5" these past few months with the rules about socialization. She's definitely been lashing out at me & yes, it's sent me to my room in tears more than once. The teenager years are hard enough for us & them, but the current world is making is SO much harder.

My 2nd is 11 & I just had my 3rd 2 months ago. People asked me if I was nervous about having a newborn after so many years of "freedom" with older kids. NOPE. Now that I've experienced teenage years, the newborn stage has honestly felt like a cakewalk. The baby problems seem so easy now. Teenagers come with many sleepless nights too for much more difficult reasons.

Message edited 11/3/2020 3:07:15 AM.

Re: Teenagers, oy.

It gets better! My SD is in her early 20's now but I remember those days very well. I am sure COVID has only exacerbated teen angst. Once she went to college, she matured a great deal. The attitude and sass has dissipated. Hang in there!

Re: Teenagers, oy.

Re: Teenagers, oy.

I feel like we moms of teens have so much to worry about, Way more than our parents had to worry about with us.
My boys are 16 (17 in 11 days!) and 15. So far the 15 year old is moody AF (which unfortunately is nothing new for him) but otherwise not a problem, and the 16 year old is always easy. I know, however, that this can change in the blink of an eye and that scares me to death.

Re: Teenagers, oy.

I don't have kids, but I teach teenagers (college, so older teenagers). I think the pandemic is playing such a tremendous role in their stress.

Teenagers have so many "one-time only" type of experiences: high school graduation, first day of college, living on their own for the first time, prom, voting in a presidential election for the first time, etc., and teens are likely feeling quite disappointed and stressed from having missed these experiences or having these experiences in ways they never expected or wanted.

When we are older, we can see that some of these one-time experiences were maybe not as important as we once thought, but we don't necessarily having that perspective when going through them.

Hang in there.

Message edited 11/3/2020 4:31:52 AM.

Re: Teenagers, oy.

Re: Teenagers, oy.

Posted by FirstMate

Posted by valentinesbaby48

Posted by FirstMate

It gets better! My SD is in her early 20's now but I remember those days very well. I am sure COVID has only exacerbated teen angst. Once she went to college, she matured a great deal. The attitude and sass has dissipated. Hang in there!

Does your SD live with you on a fulltime basis?

No, she's away at college.[/QUOTE

Oh ok. It’s still there when you have to see them all the time

Re: Teenagers, oy.

Re: Teenagers, oy.

DS just turned 15. He is easy but sometimes he gets short tempered. I never know what to expect. Sometimes I go to his room and can chat with him, other times he sends me out of his room. It is sometimes like walking on egg shells. Last school year he wanted to play baseball during his freshman year at school, and he made the team, but couldn't play. It was sad for us. Luckily he was able to play during the summer and the fall with his travel team, but yes, he felt cheated about it because that's one of the reasons he chose his HS. He doesn't like to talk too much about things going on on his mind, or feelings (not that I can expect that from my teenage son lol), but I can feel this time has affected him.

Re: Teenagers, oy.

I was probably insanely difficult to my mom from like 12-17. But then it gets much better 18++.
Hang in there!

Plus, my DD is only 8 and shes been making me run to the bathroom to cry PLENTY of times from like 5-8.... and it's just getting more often lol lol

Re: Teenagers, oy.

Yep, all of the above for my 3 and I do not stutter when i tell them I think its time they moved out and get their own place. gets an attitude adjustment really quickly... and yes this is even before the pandemic.

Re: Teenagers, oy.

My mom and I fought like cats and dogs when I was a teen. She always used to say one of us wouldn’t make it to my 16th birthday. My dad used to take extra shifts at work because he couldn’t deal with the fighting. I will say once we both survived my teen years we became super close in my twenties. She passed away when I was 32 and my twins were a few months old. God, I miss her.

Teenagers, oy.

Thanks everyone, it makes me feel better that I'm not alone in this. My daughter is 20 and is just now coming out the other end. But now my son is starting. He is 17 and just so angsty. The pandemic, the election, all fueling the situation. It really is like walking on eggshells at time. I will take toddler tantrums over this any day!

Re: Teenagers, oy.