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Hopefulmama
LIF Adult
Member since 4/14 1014 total posts
Name:
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Birthday early on in dating
The relationship board is dead so I figured I’d put this here. If you have been seeing someone for two months, one date a week (both are single parents) and near daily communication (skip a day here and there but not more than that), are not exclusive but have talked about what we are looking for and both feel optimistic about this - what would you expect at this point for your birthday? Just wanted to see if my expectations are in line. Also, he is away on a business trip for a week when my birthday occurs so that obviously affects what he can do.
Also, I have only been to his place, he has not been to mine, so sending anything is out of the question as he doesn’t have my address.
Update below!
Message edited 9/22/2022 9:18:24 AM.
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Posted 9/22/22 2:20 AM  |
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M514
Hi
Member since 8/10 6011 total posts
Name:
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Birthday early on in dating
A dinner out when he returns from his trip.
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| Posted 9/22/22 6:51 AM |
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nycbuslady
LIF Adult
Member since 9/15 1066 total posts
Name:
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Birthday early on in dating
I agree with PP. Taking you to dinner and maybe giving you flowers. But I wouldn't expect much more than that.
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| Posted 9/22/22 7:24 AM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: Birthday early on in dating
I agree with the prior posters. A dinner. Flowers or a card would be an added bonus.
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| Posted 9/22/22 8:00 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Birthday early on in dating
I agree with everyone above
But that's also pretty much all DH and I do for our birthdays and we've been married a long time.
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| Posted 9/22/22 8:54 AM |
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nycbuslady
LIF Adult
Member since 9/15 1066 total posts
Name:
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Re: Birthday early on in dating
Posted by NervousNell
I agree with everyone above
But that's also pretty much all DH and I do for our birthdays and we've been married a long time.
Us too! I think there's an arc in gift buying in relationships. At the very beginning, it's small. Then, it grows to more expensive gifts (jewelry, Broadway show tickets, etc.) and then goes back to a card and dinner after a couple of years of marriage!
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| Posted 9/22/22 8:58 AM |
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Hopefulmama
LIF Adult
Member since 4/14 1014 total posts
Name:
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Re: Birthday early on in dating
Thanks! So here is the thing. He did send me a nice text first thing in the morning but no mention of celebrating when he gets back. I am inclined to think the text is all I am getting and I’m not sure what to think about that.
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| Posted 9/22/22 9:08 AM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: Birthday early on in dating
Posted by Hopefulmama
Thanks! So here is the thing. He did send me a nice text first thing in the morning but no mention of celebrating when he gets back. I am inclined to think the text is all I am getting and I’m not sure what to think about that.
I wouldn't think anything of it TBH. If he ignored it altogether that would be different but he was thoughtful and sent a text. He's away and it's early days.... And also, we are old now and he's a man.
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| Posted 9/22/22 9:22 AM |
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olive98
LIF Adolescent
Member since 11/12 791 total posts
Name:
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Re: Birthday early on in dating
Posted by Hopefulmama
Thanks! So here is the thing. He did send me a nice text first thing in the morning but no mention of celebrating when he gets back. I am inclined to think the text is all I am getting and I’m not sure what to think about that.
The question is what are you expecting? Honestly this wouldn’t cross my mind if I know a guy I was seeing would be away during my birthday. He wished you a happy birthday and remembered, which for some men is huge lol.
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| Posted 9/22/22 2:31 PM |
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KarenK122
The Journey is the Destination
Member since 5/05 4431 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Birthday early on in dating
I think him remembering is a good thing. Maybe when he gets back, he'll mention doing something or get you a small gift when he sees you. That early in a relationship, I wouldn't be expecting much.
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| Posted 9/22/22 3:43 PM |
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M514
Hi
Member since 8/10 6011 total posts
Name:
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Re: Birthday early on in dating
Posted by olive98
Posted by Hopefulmama
Thanks! So here is the thing. He did send me a nice text first thing in the morning but no mention of celebrating when he gets back. I am inclined to think the text is all I am getting and I’m not sure what to think about that.
The question is what are you expecting? Honestly this wouldn’t cross my mind if I know a guy I was seeing would be away during my birthday. He wished you a happy birthday and remembered, which for some men is huge lol.
Exactly lol
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| Posted 9/22/22 4:02 PM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15657 total posts
Name:
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Birthday early on in dating
I think it's great he sent you a text on your birthday! I would hope he would get you a small gift, but I wouldn't be disappointed if he doesn't. I was dating my SO for 2.5 months and my birthday came around and he bought be an Alex and Ani bracelet because he knows I like them. Maybe he will surprise you!
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| Posted 9/22/22 4:28 PM |
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Hopefulmama
LIF Adult
Member since 4/14 1014 total posts
Name:
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Re: Birthday early on in dating
Posted by olive98
Posted by Hopefulmama
Thanks! So here is the thing. He did send me a nice text first thing in the morning but no mention of celebrating when he gets back. I am inclined to think the text is all I am getting and I’m not sure what to think about that.
The question is what are you expecting? Honestly this wouldn’t cross my mind if I know a guy I was seeing would be away during my birthday. He wished you a happy birthday and remembered, which for some men is huge lol.
I guess I was hoping for a “can’t wait to celebrate with you” or something. My ex boyfriend and I had been dating one month when Valentine’s Day came and he was also traveling and managed to send me a small, thoughtful gift. I was dating someone the same time last year who took me to dinner and got me a very small, humorous gift. I guess I feel like maybe he isn’t that excited about me if he didn’t take the opportunity to do a little something. But it’s hard to know if I am just projecting from past disappointments (there have been many)
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| Posted 9/22/22 7:49 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Birthday early on in dating
Posted by Hopefulmama
Posted by olive98
Posted by Hopefulmama
Thanks! So here is the thing. He did send me a nice text first thing in the morning but no mention of celebrating when he gets back. I am inclined to think the text is all I am getting and I’m not sure what to think about that.
The question is what are you expecting? Honestly this wouldn’t cross my mind if I know a guy I was seeing would be away during my birthday. He wished you a happy birthday and remembered, which for some men is huge lol.
I guess I was hoping for a “can’t wait to celebrate with you” or something. My ex boyfriend and I had been dating one month when Valentine’s Day came and he was also traveling and managed to send me a small, thoughtful gift. I was dating someone the same time last year who took me to dinner and got me a very small, humorous gift. I guess I feel like maybe he isn’t that excited about me if he didn’t take the opportunity to do a little something. But it’s hard to know if I am just projecting from past disappointments (there have been many)
It might just not be his style. He may plan to take you to dinner when he gets back but maybe he just didn't think to mention it or just assumed you'd go out to celebrate when he got back.
Men are weird. lol
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| Posted 9/22/22 7:51 PM |
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klingklang77
kraftwerk!
Member since 7/06 11487 total posts
Name:
Völlig losgelöst
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Re: Birthday early on in dating
Posted by Hopefulmama
Posted by olive98
Posted by Hopefulmama
Thanks! So here is the thing. He did send me a nice text first thing in the morning but no mention of celebrating when he gets back. I am inclined to think the text is all I am getting and I’m not sure what to think about that.
The question is what are you expecting? Honestly this wouldn’t cross my mind if I know a guy I was seeing would be away during my birthday. He wished you a happy birthday and remembered, which for some men is huge lol.
I guess I was hoping for a “can’t wait to celebrate with you” or something. My ex boyfriend and I had been dating one month when Valentine’s Day came and he was also traveling and managed to send me a small, thoughtful gift. I was dating someone the same time last year who took me to dinner and got me a very small, humorous gift. I guess I feel like maybe he isn’t that excited about me if he didn’t take the opportunity to do a little something. But it’s hard to know if I am just projecting from past disappointments (there have been many)
If it is important to you, then it is important to you. Don’t sell yourself short or say that you are projecting from past disappointments. If it’s a deal breaker to you, then it is. I don’t think it’s “too much” of an expectation at all!
And saying he is a man is a cop out. My exh did shit like this and his mother excused it. Sorry. Not sorry.
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| Posted 9/23/22 6:16 AM |
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MrsWoods
LIF Adult
Member since 4/12 1461 total posts
Name:
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Birthday early on in dating
To be honest its only been two months. Thats not really a long time. The fact that he remembered is good enough in my book. He may take you to dinner when he returns but i wouldnt expect something material in such an early relationship especially if your not serious yet.
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| Posted 9/23/22 10:31 AM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7274 total posts
Name:
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Re: Birthday early on in dating
Posted by MrsWoods
To be honest its only been two months. Thats not really a long time. The fact that he remembered is good enough in my book. He may take you to dinner when he returns but i wouldnt expect something material in such an early relationship especially if your not serious yet.
I agree with this. I probably wouldn’t even mention it was my birthday to someone I’d been dating for 2 months, but I’m also not a big birthday person.
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| Posted 9/23/22 11:14 AM |
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olive98
LIF Adolescent
Member since 11/12 791 total posts
Name:
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Re: Birthday early on in dating
Posted by Hopefulmama
Posted by olive98
Posted by Hopefulmama
Thanks! So here is the thing. He did send me a nice text first thing in the morning but no mention of celebrating when he gets back. I am inclined to think the text is all I am getting and I’m not sure what to think about that.
The question is what are you expecting? Honestly this wouldn’t cross my mind if I know a guy I was seeing would be away during my birthday. He wished you a happy birthday and remembered, which for some men is huge lol.
I guess I was hoping for a “can’t wait to celebrate with you” or something. My ex boyfriend and I had been dating one month when Valentine’s Day came and he was also traveling and managed to send me a small, thoughtful gift. I was dating someone the same time last year who took me to dinner and got me a very small, humorous gift. I guess I feel like maybe he isn’t that excited about me if he didn’t take the opportunity to do a little something. But it’s hard to know if I am just projecting from past disappointments (there have been many)
Those exes got you gifts but they didn’t work out so I think I wouldn’t look to this as a dealbreaker
Also he hasn’t even gotten back yet. For all you know he did get you something. I don’t know it seems really too early to get upset about something like this. You aren’t even exclusive.
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| Posted 9/23/22 2:00 PM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: Birthday early on in dating
Message edited 9/23/2022 4:58:40 PM.
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| Posted 9/23/22 4:58 PM |
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hmm
Sweet
Member since 1/14 7993 total posts
Name:
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Birthday early on in dating
I think it's too early to expect anything major. It sounds like you're bringing in your past exp and it's hard not to. Sounds like you're basing this "gift" or none gift to determine how he feels about you. Maybe he doesn't know yet, it's very early in the relationship.
I agree with others, the fact he remembered is very sweet.
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| Posted 9/24/22 12:55 PM |
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