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Alex110879
craziness
Member since 8/06 3762 total posts
Name:
Alexandria
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My Dilema
Ok, so since my dh passed away I have not been very cordial to my family... actually I have determined that it is bad for my health and swore off of them.... sounds wrong, but seriously they were giving my heart palpatations and anxiety attacks... but anyways... so i got invited to my cousins baby shower... is it wrong to say no... i dont want to take away from her day because of my issues with my mother and sister...
ps it is so bad i sent my parents a christmas card with gifts and i didnt even get a card.....
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Posted 1/21/07 11:02 PM  |
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Christine
2nd verse same as the 1st
Member since 5/05 15287 total posts
Name:
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Re: My Dilema
First, I am very sorry for all your losses. 
I don't think it's wrong to say no to the shower. I think if your cousin is slightly aware of the situation, she will understand. I would gtg with her after her shower to give her a gift and spend some time with her.
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| Posted 1/22/07 7:31 AM |
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Gumpslilqtpie
Living the DREAM!!!
Member since 7/06 2646 total posts
Name:
Kimmer
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Re: My Dilema
Posted by Christine
First, I am very sorry for all your losses.
I don't think it's wrong to say no to the shower. I think if your cousin is slightly aware of the situation, she will understand. I would gtg with her after her shower to give her a gift and spend some time with her.
I agree. Is there any way to reconcile with your parents??
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| Posted 1/22/07 9:39 AM |
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LBG30
:)
Member since 9/05 3423 total posts
Name:
Noelle
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Re: My Dilema
Sorry for your loss
I don't think its wrong not to go to the shower-I am sure that your cousin will understand!
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| Posted 1/22/07 11:50 AM |
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bikramaddict
mommy-to-be
Member since 8/06 4376 total posts
Name:
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Re: My Dilema
i think you need to do what's best for you and not worry about what other people think.
A lot easier said than done, I know....
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| Posted 1/22/07 1:57 PM |
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Beth
The Key to your new home....
Member since 2/06 24849 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: My Dilema
have you gone to speak to a professional about this?
I see nothing wrong with staying away from them- they should not be adding to your stress- have you told them about this- maybe they don't realize what they are doing?
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| Posted 1/22/07 2:26 PM |
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Alex110879
craziness
Member since 8/06 3762 total posts
Name:
Alexandria
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Re: My Dilema
At this point the parent situation is hopeless... they can not speak to me without yelling at me andblaming me for everyone elses ailments....
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| Posted 1/22/07 8:29 PM |
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Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: My Dilema
Alex-so sorry you are still struggling with this. I don't know if it's hurting you more this way or the other way. What do you think?
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| Posted 1/22/07 8:36 PM |
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Alex110879
craziness
Member since 8/06 3762 total posts
Name:
Alexandria
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Re: My Dilema
at this point, to be blamed for everyone elses problems is worse for me... and that is what it has come down to... my father came over a month and a half ago saying "I have been seeing double, which i havent done in years, but it has happened over the past few months"... meaning that i am stressing him into his double vision... or "your mother is developing congestive heart failure because of you" (ps, my mothers mother had it, my mother is over weight, doesnt eat right, and never excercises... it is amazing how i have the power to alter ones dna or habits)...
I have spent do much time blaming myself for kevins death that i do not need to be blamed for everyone elses
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| Posted 1/22/07 9:07 PM |
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Beth
The Key to your new home....
Member since 2/06 24849 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: My Dilema
Posted by Alex110879
at this point, to be blamed for everyone elses problems is worse for me... and that is what it has come down to... my father came over a month and a half ago saying "I have been seeing double, which i havent done in years, but it has happened over the past few months"... meaning that i am stressing him into his double vision... or "your mother is developing congestive heart failure because of you" (ps, my mothers mother had it, my mother is over weight, doesnt eat right, and never excercises... it is amazing how i have the power to alter ones dna or habits)...
I have spent do much time blaming myself for kevins death that i do not need to be blamed for everyone elses
 maybe it's best to cut all ties- I am so sorry you have to go thru this- losing your husband is hard enough and then to have your parents treat you with so little compassion
what about family couseling? would they go?
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| Posted 1/22/07 9:21 PM |
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Alex110879
craziness
Member since 8/06 3762 total posts
Name:
Alexandria
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Re: My Dilema
They dont want anything but an appology for things i didnt do and they dont understand that, nor do they want to inderstand... you know that not one of them even sent me a birthday or christmas card...
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| Posted 1/22/07 9:28 PM |
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Beth
The Key to your new home....
Member since 2/06 24849 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: My Dilema
I'm so sorry - this must be so hard for you- I wish there was something I could do
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| Posted 1/22/07 9:32 PM |
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Alex110879
craziness
Member since 8/06 3762 total posts
Name:
Alexandria
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Re: My Dilema
actually, accepting it has helped... as well as my md who told my parents that if they kept this up that the net time they saw me i would be dead... they were cause such problems that it was affecting my health....
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| Posted 1/22/07 9:42 PM |
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Beth
The Key to your new home....
Member since 2/06 24849 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: My Dilema
Posted by Alex110879
actually, accepting it has helped... as well as my md who told my parents that if they kept this up that the net time they saw me i would be dead... they were cause such problems that it was affecting my health....
at least someone has stood up for you
I guess the best thing for you is to accept it, deal with it and move forward with you life
life is short- we have all learned that the hard way- and you desserve a chance at happiness
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| Posted 1/23/07 1:34 PM |
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