For those of you who lost a parent young..

how did you cope? did you really understand?

my uncle passed away suddenly last march, my cousins are 7, 8 & 10.

My father died 7 years ago, so I know how they feel, sort of - I was 17, so I was old enough to understand.

I just dont know what to say to them sometimes - did you like to hear stories about your parent? My one cousin seems to shy away from the conversation, but the little one loves to hear the stories- I really dont know how to help!

Re: For those of you who lost a parent young..

I lost my mom when I was 23 so my experiences are different. Even now, I still enjoy when other speak about her so I would imagine that your young cousins would enjoy hearing stories about their dad, also. Either way it's a difficult line to ride - good luck

Re: For those of you who lost a parent young..

i was 20 when my mom died so i know its different from your cousins but yes, i love to hear stories about her. i've heard things that i never knew and it makes me laugh and smile. my father told me one not too long ago about a conversation they had when i was about 13 and had a fresh mouth.

Re: For those of you who lost a parent young..

My Niece and nephew were 12 and 10 when my brother died last year.

My niece totally gets it and goes to a support group at her school which has been great.

My nephew gets it but my SIl has not gotten him any help and I think it really affects him. He needs to talk to someone.

I would suggest a counselor.

Re: For those of you who lost a parent young..

I was 6 when my mom passed away. I did understand that she wasn't coming home. Probably around ages 8-11 I really didnt like hearing stories about her. I'm really sure why but as I matured I couldn't get enough of hearing what she was like. What really made me angry was the people who NEVER would talk about her as if she wasn't even here. I understand now that they didn't want to upset me but I think I really would have appreciated a nice comment or memory even if it was short and sweet.
So my suggestion...every now and then say something about their dad that they didnt know. It will help keep his memory alive and let the kids know that he's not forgotten.