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Problem
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Message edited 5/19/2008 2:33:10 PM.
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Posted 5/3/07 4:22 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
Rycois
Blessed with 2blue/2pink
Member since 12/05 13341 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: Problem
I wouldn't change my mind about when I planned to share my news with co-workers based on someone else. If you wanted to wait until you got through your first trimester, I would stick with that. It's not a race.
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| Posted 5/3/07 4:28 PM |
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Lauren
Very Happy!
Member since 10/06 3917 total posts
Name:
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Re: Problem
Don't feel that it is a competition. Tell everyone when you are comfortable. 
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| Posted 5/3/07 5:22 PM |
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MrsRbk
<3 <3 <3 <3
Member since 1/06 19197 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: Problem
Posted by Lauren
Don't feel that it is a competition. Tell everyone when you are comfortable.
ITA...
not sure why you think this is a problem?
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| Posted 5/3/07 5:31 PM |
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Re: Problem
Posted by MrsRbk
Posted by Lauren
Don't feel that it is a competition. Tell everyone when you are comfortable.
ITA...
not sure why you think this is a problem?
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Message edited 5/19/2008 2:34:05 PM.
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| Posted 5/3/07 5:43 PM |
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LIBOUND
Texting king
Member since 10/05 5289 total posts
Name:
Suzy
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Re: Problem
I will give it to you straight. And I don't mean to sound mean.
I have been trying to have a baby for a while and we now know that we can't have a baby the "natural" way.
If I had the news to tell, I could give a ratz azz how many people told on the same day. I would be be grateful that I had the news to tell.
Please don't take it the wrong way, but you are about to me a mom, and it should be the most exciting time of your life. Don't let something like this take away from what is really going on. You're going to have a baby!!
Good Luck.
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| Posted 5/3/07 5:55 PM |
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shell
:-)
Member since 6/06 2988 total posts
Name:
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Re: Problem
Posted by LIBOUND
I will give it to you straight. And I don't mean to sound mean.
I have been trying to have a baby for a while and we now know that we can't have a baby the "natural" way.
If I had the news to tell, I could give a ratz azz how many people told on the same day. I would be be grateful that I had the news to tell.
Please don't take it the wrong way, but you are about to me a mom, and it should be the most exciting time of your life. Don't let something like this take away from what is really going on. You're going to have a baby!!
Good Luck.
ITA!!!!!!!!
Don't let something like this take away for your excitement!!!!!!!
Your having a baby!!!
Message edited 5/3/2007 6:53:03 PM.
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| Posted 5/3/07 6:47 PM |
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DRMom
Two in Blue
Member since 5/05 20223 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: Problem
ITA also not to be mean but you should really be more mature. Good luck with your pregnancy
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| Posted 5/3/07 7:19 PM |
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Goldi0218
My miracles!
Member since 12/05 23902 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Re: Problem
I have had problems too but I can say there would be nothing stopping me from my announcement(when the time comes) even if my own mother were pregnant - shes 75 and tubes ar cut so you see what I mean. Id feel pretty grateful regardless of whats going on in other people's lives. They arent my problem.
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| Posted 5/3/07 7:25 PM |
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Wow-ed
LIF Zygote
Member since 4/07 27 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: Problem
In a way I can understand what you mean, its that feeling like someone is stealing your thunder. I accidently found out that my SIL's sister is pregnant. No one in my family knows that I am pregnant and I kinda feel like my SIL won't be excited because she will be more focused on her sister (which I understand as they are very close and we are not).
But at the end of the day, I dont care who is and who isnt happy for us! This is about my DH and I creating a life together and sharing that! We are excited and I know that MANY will be estatic for us, and those are the only ones I really care about!!!
Dont worry so much about what the world thinks or doesnt think. Its only important what you and your DH feel about htis event!!!!!!!!!!!!
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| Posted 5/4/07 5:20 PM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: Problem
To be completely honest, I think that this post is a little insensitive for the TTC board. Most of the women on here would give anything just to be pregnant. Who really cares who is excited for you and who isnt? Having a baby is not about getting attention. It is about a beautiful miracle that you and your husband created.....
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| Posted 5/4/07 6:30 PM |
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MrsRbk
<3 <3 <3 <3
Member since 1/06 19197 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: Problem
Posted by lululu
To be completely honest, I think that this post is a little insensitive for the TTC board. Most of the women on here would give anything just to be pregnant. Who really cares who is excited for you and who isnt? Having a baby is not about getting attention. It is about a beautiful miracle that you and your husband created.....
Couldn't have said it better myself
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| Posted 5/4/07 8:19 PM |
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HoneyBadger
YourWorstNightmare.
Member since 10/06 15979 total posts
Name:
BahBahBlackJeep
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Re: Problem
Ditto!
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| Posted 5/4/07 9:50 PM |
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Re: Problem
Posted by lululu
To be completely honest, I think that this post is a little insensitive for the TTC board. Most of the women on here would give anything just to be pregnant. Who really cares who is excited for you and who isnt? Having a baby is not about getting attention. It is about a beautiful miracle that you and your husband created.....
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Message edited 5/19/2008 2:34:39 PM.
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| Posted 5/4/07 9:52 PM |
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MrsRbk
<3 <3 <3 <3
Member since 1/06 19197 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: Problem
Posted by AmIBeingSelfish
Posted by lululu
To be completely honest, I think that this post is a little insensitive for the TTC board. Most of the women on here would give anything just to be pregnant. Who really cares who is excited for you and who isnt? Having a baby is not about getting attention. It is about a beautiful miracle that you and your husband created.....
Ya know if i put this up on the IF board i would agree wtih you, but this is the board where everybody shouts out a BFP and wants all the congrats from everybody else that posts. Why does anybody make a big announcement about being pregnant if they don't want to hear congrats and want other peeps to share in the joy and happiness? Not that it matters but Sweet Carolines answer reminded me of why i made decisions way beofre i ever got pregnant about who to tell and why and resolved the issue in my own head.
There are many of us here on the TTC board that have been trying for a long time (I am one of them). I don't mean to sound harsh, but honestly, I only WISH had your "problem"
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| Posted 5/4/07 10:07 PM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: Problem
Posted by AmIBeingSelfish
Posted by lululu
To be completely honest, I think that this post is a little insensitive for the TTC board. Most of the women on here would give anything just to be pregnant. Who really cares who is excited for you and who isnt? Having a baby is not about getting attention. It is about a beautiful miracle that you and your husband created.....
Ya know if i put this up on the IF board i would agree wtih you, but this is the board where everybody shouts out a BFP and wants all the congrats from everybody else that posts. Why does anybody make a big announcement about being pregnant if they don't want to hear congrats and want other peeps to share in the joy and happiness? Not that it matters but Sweet Carolines answer reminded me of why i made decisions way beofre i ever got pregnant about who to tell and why and resolved the issue in my own head.
It is one thing to share your excitement over a BFP with the people who you commiserated with about how hard it is to conceive. But that gives people hope and let's them know that it can and will happen eventually for everyone, especially when the BFP is coming from someone that struggled to get pregnant. I always think it's somewhat inappropriate when people who have not posted on the TTC board and then come on and announce a BFP. To me, that also belongs on the pregnancy board. But for those that post regularly, it's different.
I don't know who you are, and you may be a frequent poster, but no one knows that because you created an alias for this post. Still, this is a "problem" for pregnancy (although I really don't consider it a problem at all) and it does not belong on this board. I'm sorry if you disagree, but you said you yourself were having problems getting pregnant. Think about how you would have felt if a friend came to you with this "problem" when you were having trouble conceiving. It's just insensitive and if you don't see that I dont think I can explain it any better than I have already tried.
Message edited 5/5/2007 10:43:11 AM.
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| Posted 5/5/07 10:42 AM |
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Goldi0218
My miracles!
Member since 12/05 23902 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Re: Problem
Posted by AmIBeingSelfish
Ya know if i put this up on the IF board i would agree wtih you, but this is the board where everybody shouts out a BFP and wants all the congrats from everybody else that posts. Why does anybody make a big announcement about being pregnant if they don't want to hear congrats and want other peeps to share in the joy and happiness? Not that it matters but Sweet Carolines answer reminded me of why i made decisions way beofre i ever got pregnant about who to tell and why and resolved the issue in my own head.
Since we do not know who you are, it is very hard for all of us to identify your struggles. We understand the need for an alias to protect privacy and safety. But the actual sharing of your BFP came in the form of a "problem" and there are many of us who cannot identify with a BFP as a problem.
Most of us who are on the IF board have probably spent a significant amount of time here on the TTC board. Even still, we all go back and forth to support each other. Personally, I found myself struggling to make the jump to IF because a) I had some denial of my situation (which I didn't know what it was) and b) I simply did not feel that I had many of the same issues that some of the women on the IF board have had. But as I posted, I learned that there WERE people like me and I was able to commiserate in open dialogue.
I lurked on IF for a while before I felt comfortable enough to share my issues and participate in the support of other women. Now that I am a somewhat active poster both on IF AND here on TTC, I feel welcome and incredibly supported. I try my best to be supportive back. Even if it is a post with some hugs and happy faces - they do help a lot. We all want the best for each other.
There has not been ONE time that someone announced a pregnancy and I havent been happy for them despite the fact that up until two days ago, I thought I may not be able to have my own children (A little dramatic? Yes but still a very real fear - for many of us). When my time comes (and now I know it will), I know I will have the support of everyone who is close to me whether it is friends, family or the incredible women of LIF. Perhaps you need to surround yourself with people who will support you no matter what instead of worrying about the attention you will get. Just a thought.
I hope you have a healthy, wonderful and uneventful pregnancy.
Message edited 5/5/2007 11:07:59 AM.
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| Posted 5/5/07 11:06 AM |
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randella
Love my little man
Member since 8/05 16290 total posts
Name:
Randi
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Re: Problem
I don't understand what the problem is-- is it that you are worried you will both be out on maternity leave at the same time? Or that she will steal your thunder?
I agree with some of the other posters-- that if it's an attention thing, it's not really a problem, nor does it require a post asking what to do IMO. No one can make the decision as to when to tell people about your pregnancy other than you. I just don't see it as a "problem" per se--- unless you think your work load, maternity leave and flexibility being in and out of the office during pregnancy will be affected because there are two pregos in your dept.
I have to admit, there have been times when I have thought about when I get pregnant, and some of these thoughts have been around getting attention or whatever--- you naturally want people to be excited and happy for you-- but, it's not a competition with other people.
Bottom line-- your co workers will be happy for both of you. A new life is something to celebrate, regardless of how long people have known you.
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| Posted 5/5/07 11:16 AM |
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DRMom
Two in Blue
Member since 5/05 20223 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: Problem
After multiple miscarriages I actually hide when I'm pregnant so I don't have to deal with the pity from friends and family or "advice" should something go wrong. Your "problem" is ridiculous and should have been posted on pregnancy or even relationships.
The post was immature, insensitive and, honestly pretty stupid. I'm sure you are a nice person and this was an error but now you know. Good luck and have a happy and healthy 9 months.
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| Posted 5/5/07 11:26 AM |
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JsWife
His laugh, Her smile
Member since 12/06 2902 total posts
Name:
Patricia
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Re: Problem
Posted by randella
I don't understand what the problem is-- is it that you are worried you will both be out on maternity leave at the same time? Or that she will steal your thunder?
I agree with some of the other posters-- that if it's an attention thing, it's not really a problem, nor does it require a post asking what to do IMO. No one can make the decision as to when to tell people about your pregnancy other than you. I just don't see it as a "problem" per se--- unless you think your work load, maternity leave and flexibility being in and out of the office during pregnancy will be affected because there are two pregos in your dept.
I have to admit, there have been times when I have thought about when I get pregnant, and some of these thoughts have been around getting attention or whatever--- you naturally want people to be excited and happy for you-- but, it's not a competition with other people.
Bottom line-- your co workers will be happy for both of you. A new life is something to celebrate, regardless of how long people have known you.
When I started reading the original post I thought, at first, your concern was about being on maternity leave at the same time as someone else. But after finishing the post and your other posts I've come to think that it's about wanting attention.
I agree with this post. There is not a finite amount of happiness people can have for those that are pregnant. Just because someone is happy for one person doesn't mean that don't have any happiness left for another.
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| Posted 5/5/07 11:48 AM |
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Rycois
Blessed with 2blue/2pink
Member since 12/05 13341 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: Problem
Honestly, I wish you the best. But please don't compare TTCers announcing their BFP on this board to you asking if you're being selfish by wanting to announce your pregnancy before your co-worker's. A lot of us have been on this board for quite some time, and have had our shares of struggles, as you mention you have. I'm sorry for your struggles. But whenever one of those ladies announces a BFP on this board, I'm thrilled. We all want to see each other graduate. We're a team. And when it doesn't work out, we're all here to support and welcome back that woman.
Your pregnancy is a gift that no coworker can take away the thrill of. Also, you don't know if coworker has had struggles too - it doesn't really matter. Like you wrote, you made your decision to wait 12wks for a reason - if you change your mind to share earlier just because your co-worker is going to announce first, then the answer to your question is yes, you are being selfish.
I'm sorry if you feel attacked, I don't want to come off like that. I just know that I truly appreciate when I post a "problem" and someone on here gives me a truthful reaction, rather than just telling me what I want to hear. It puts things in perspective for me.
May you have a happy & healthy pregnancy - I'm sure no matter when you decide to announce your pregnant, the people around you will be happy for you. 
Message edited 5/5/2007 11:49:39 AM.
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| Posted 5/5/07 11:48 AM |
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HoneyBadger
YourWorstNightmare.
Member since 10/06 15979 total posts
Name:
BahBahBlackJeep
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Re: Problem
Posted by AmIBeingSelfish
Hope y'all can help. Today i found out someone that works for the same company as me is pregnant. Good news i know but thing is so am i. I found out by accident, and found out she was gonna tell peeps at work after the first trimester, so was i. Thing is she is further along than me and will get to the second tri first. The reason this is a problem to me is cause i been here 10 years and shes not even been here one AND she is transferring into my office in like 2 weeks. Is it selfish to want to tell my coworkers about my pregnancy b4 she starts spreading news about hers?
To answer your question and your "screen name" question simply: Yes, IMO, you are being selfish. There is no reason you can't announce your pregnancy after your co-worker does and not have it be as special. You will, however, have to get over sharing the "spotlight" and just be happy that you ARE pregnant.
Please don't read this as me being mean to you, I am just simply giving you an honest answer to your question.
Good luck and I hope you have a happy, healthy nine months.
Message edited 5/5/2007 4:56:42 PM.
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| Posted 5/5/07 4:56 PM |
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twicethefun
Loving life
Member since 7/06 4088 total posts
Name:
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Re: Problem
What makes you think people can't be excited for more than one person at a time? If you have been in your department a while, and have friends there, wouldn't they be more excited for you? After dealing with infertility and two miscarriages, I dreaded telling people about my present pregnancy. I have no interest in attention from anyone except maybe my husband. So maybe I am a little insensitive to your problem, but who really cares about anyone else's thoughts on your pregnancy.
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| Posted 5/5/07 5:32 PM |
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