Re: What Is The Most Horrible Thing Someone Has Said To You?

Let's see, after my month old son died I got the following:

Next time I hope you have twins to help you forget your loss (as if that can ever replace the baby that died)

You're lucky that you have a special angel to look after you (sorry - I'd be happier having him here with me looking after him)

When I went back to work, I started tearing when I got behind my desk. My boss looked at me and said "Are you STILL not over it??" Mind you, she never said she was sorry, sent a card or even made a phone call

Re: What Is The Most Horrible Thing Someone Has Said To You?

Message edited 1/30/2009 10:42:54 AM.

Re: What Is The Most Horrible Thing Someone Has Said To You?

Some people really don't think. I was at a wake & there was actually a little card that said "Things you should not say to the grieving family" We all thought it was weird that they would have this. I guess I know why they have it.

I've heard so many things over the years & all the loses I had.

Re: What Is The Most Horrible Thing Someone Has Said To You?

Well my grandfather died a few years ago - and alot of people asked me "how old was he" - When I told them - they responded to me like it was no big deal - he lived a long life - he was old - etc..

I know he lived a long life - but the pain is still there - definitely not something I needed or wanted to hear at that moment.

Message edited 12/27/2006 10:57:55 AM.

Re: What Is The Most Horrible Thing Someone Has Said To You?

People are just stupid & insensitive.

Ann's post reminded me of something the same person I mentioned above said when my cousin died. He was 33 and his death was somehow alcohol related as he was an alcoholic. When I told my friend, she said "well, he was an alcoholic" He was also my COUSIN and THIRTY THREE!

Re: What Is The Most Horrible Thing Someone Has Said To You?

a co worker ( much older but not wiser ) always use to ask me during a comversation about someone dieing..."How long ya mutha been dead now?" I cringed evertime she would ask it ...

One of my best friends father past away 15 yrs ago and on the night of the 10 anniversary of his death We were all going to go out to keep her mind off the anniversary when her mom called her about something and she had to rush home to help her. But one of the girls that was going out with us said "OMG its been like forever... its time she gets over this thing already!" I was livid at the girl... but then realized it came from someone who never dealt with her own mothers passing and was a very bitter person....

Re: What Is The Most Horrible Thing Someone Has Said To You?

Message edited 1/4/2007 10:20:50 PM.

Re: What Is The Most Horrible Thing Someone Has Said To You?

My FIL passed away unexpectedly 3 days after we came back from our HM.

People told us... "Well at least he got to see you getting married".

Re: What Is The Most Horrible Thing Someone Has Said To You?

People have said so many things over the years that hurt but I guess you can't get too upset w/ people ....I still don't know what to say to someone that has just experienced a loss....it is a very uncomfortable thing for most people which sometimes results in the wrong wording/ phrasing. I've learned to disregard the comments but it still hurts.

Message edited 1/4/2007 10:00:46 AM.

Re: What Is The Most Horrible Thing Someone Has Said To You?

I lost my daughter due to pre term labor, she was stillborn.

In the labor and delivery room, the wheelchair"person" came to take me up to a room and I was eating and said to me a host of things including..." Dont eat that whole sandwich, your mom looks hungry too and she must have been through a lot tonight, dont be selfish and share"
( yeah my mom just went through labor and had her daughter die too huh?)
Then she said, " Well your young and not married, some things just work themselves out, and are blessings in disguise"....

Well I screamed and tried to punch her and got a new wheelechair "person" .

I have never ever forgotten her words

Re: What Is The Most Horrible Thing Someone Has Said To You?

My husband past away back in june after a long illness... my mother turned to me the day after and goes "your father and I aren't going to the funeral because we werent mentioned in the orbituary" as well as "you sould have hugged us first" and "you shouldnt have had your mother in law write the thank yous... that was your job.... i hope you know how upset everyone is"... ps, i havent spoken to my family for six months because they want an appology for MY actions the night Kevin passed away....

Re: What Is The Most Horrible Thing Someone Has Said To You?

My MIL passed away before I met her and throughout the whole wedding planning process everyone told me I was so lucky because I didnt have a MIL to deal with. I'm sorry - but I would rather have had the opportunity to meet her and have her be a part of my life. Not all MILs are a pain!!

Re: What Is The Most Horrible Thing Someone Has Said To You?

Not sure if I mentioned this one....

My stepsister died of a horrible bout of cancer 6 years ago.

People told me - oh, well at least she wasn't your real sister - she was only a stepsister....

Re: What Is The Most Horrible Thing Someone Has Said To You?

oh, i thought of another... now to give a little history, i bought my house from kevins sister.... when we moved in she had left an attic worth of baby stuff as well as the most awful chandelier... for 6 months i told her to take it if she wanted... for in september (9 months after i started telling her and 3 months after kevin passed) my brothers wife and i had a garage sale... we posted an ad on craigs list and becuase my brother has two kids some of their baby stuff was going to be sold and was mentioned in the ad.. so i got an emai telling me that i had no sense of kevins family values and he was going to haunt me for the rest of my life until i go and rot in hell due to the fact that i was selling her stuff.... i was so annoyed, emailed kevins mother and told her to never have her family contact me again... mind you at the same time my mil emailed me asking how i liked my new car, i hadnt seen them in months so how did them know i had a new car??

Re: What Is The Most Horrible Thing Someone Has Said To You?

Someone told my dad a few weeks after my brother (his son) died that he should be over it by now. b*tch...

Re: What Is The Most Horrible Thing Someone Has Said To You?

Re: What Is The Most Horrible Thing Someone Has Said To You?

what can you do... you know even now... my aunt emailed me asking my opinion on her mother having chemo ( i work in an oncology facility)... i have too much going on myself medically and so i told her i need to think of my own medical right now and would prefer not to add my opinions to such an important decision ( i dont want to be blamed if it has a bad outcome and it is waht i suggested).... now my mother is telling everyone i have a wierd communicalble disease that kevin gave me and i am being selfish because i am not telling anyone... I havent spoken to them now since august.... and to be honest, i miss them less everyday

Message edited 6/8/2009 3:40:52 PM.

Re: What Is The Most Horrible Thing Someone Has Said To You?

"Its not like you really knew her". My mom passed away when I was 6.

Re: What Is The Most Horrible Thing Someone Has Said To You?

One of the Worst things was said to me.... At the wake of my Father.

My cousin said to me, Now, that you have lost both of your parents.....
"What are you going to do now"??

I said, oh my god....Your Are right they are both Dead! What I'm I going to do?
Good thing you brought this up to me at this moment..

I follow up with ....a Kiss and a Hug and a heart felt "Thanks for coming" reply.

Message edited 3/27/2007 12:08:05 PM.

Re: What Is The Most Horrible Thing Someone Has Said To You?

Posted by lipglossjunky73

Not sure if I mentioned this one....

My stepsister died of a horrible bout of cancer 6 years ago.

People told me - oh, well at least she wasn't your real sister - she was only a stepsister....

Message edited 6/18/2007 5:59:09 AM.

Re: What Is The Most Horrible Thing Someone Has Said To You?

Posted by medic6809

Posted by lipglossjunky73

Not sure if I mentioned this one....

My stepsister died of a horrible bout of cancer 6 years ago.

People told me - oh, well at least she wasn't your real sister - she was only a stepsister....

When I was 14 my 19yo stepsister was killed in a car acciednt. I remember people saying that to me also and still they say it. Yes I am well aware it has been almost 11yrs, but my wedding has stirred up a lot of emotion and I met her when I was 3. It's a long complicated story but my response has always been........."thanks for reminding me that we didn't share the same dna I guess just 12 christmas' easter's birthdays, vacations, first days of school, dance recitals ect ect ect will have to be enough. Thanks for being such a warm, understanding, compasionate person."