choosing gender...

hi!
my husband and i are planning are adopting in a couple years because i can't have my own children. i'm on a group for korean adoptions, and recently theres been a "debate" about whether or not its 'right' to be able to choose the gender of the child.
i said that i don't see a problem with it. i feel like its God saying " well, i took away your ability to have kids, that i gave most other people... so i'll give you something the other people don't have- the ability to pick the sex of the baby". obviously, i'd be happy either way, but its just an extra "perk" i guess you could say....
what do you guys think??

Re: choosing gender...

I agree with you -

It is wonderful that you are even considering adoption to begin with so choosing a boy or girl is, like you said, an extra perk!

Good luck!

Re: choosing gender...

Thats a nice way to look at it. We didnt state a gender but were more than 50% sure we would be referred a boy.

Re: choosing gender...

i dont see anything wrong with choosing the gender.. good luck to you! i hope no matter what happens that you get a healthy happy child and you become a happy family.

Re: choosing gender...

I chose to not choose a gender because I'd be equally happy with either sex and liked the element of surprise that came along with not choosing, just as if I were pregnant....but of course it's a personal decision. I don't necessarily agree with your reasoning on why you should be able to choose a gender, but I definitely see nothing wrong with it. People for the most part, unless they are choosing a boy as their choice, do not choose Korea as their country of choice, because, as I'm sure you know, more boys are referred than girls. Most programs don't even allow you to select a gender, and if they do, the wait is substantially longer if you choose a girl. Most people that want girls go to China, but I know China adoptions are going extremely slow right now. Good Luck with your adoption! Try not to let others' opinions sway your decision bc it is very personal and people on those boards (or any board) are very opinionated, esp. on adoption issues, and it's enough to drive you crazy. The only right way is what's right for you and your family.

Re: choosing gender...

My agency only allows couples who already have a child to chose the opposite gender or either. I see nothing wrong with gender choice. It is a very personal decision. We chose to adopt a boy from Ethiopia. It is a 50-50 of boys and girls there..so if we would have chosen "either" we would have adopted a girl..since 6 girls were referred while I was #1 on the waiting for a boy list. But I am so glad that we made the decision we did. Jason is my son and I can't imagine it any other way :D
So it is totally up to you!!

Re: choosing gender...

I don't see anything wrong with choosing gender at all. Nowadays people are going so far as to choosing ethnicity and more...

Re: choosing gender...

I see absolultely NOTHING wrong with choosing a gender...heck..I set out to adopt a tiny baby girl from Ethiopia and ended up adopting two school age boys instead...they stole my heart and have been home for two years!!! Nothing wrong at all with having some say in who you adopt...its a beautiful thing