Am I being mean?

I am going away for one night this weekend with my girlfriends...we are leaving Sat about 1pm and returning Sunday at about 3pm. My mom offered to take DD for the day and night so it is easier on DH. That just makes me mad...why does he get it "easier" for one night when I don't have it too easy everyday?!?!!? I don't want to tell him that my mom offered to take DD so he can really see what is is like to get up at the crack of dawn, change two diapers, feed two kids, tell the 2 year old 5 million times that he can't watch TV, keep an eye on the baby as she crawls all over the place, maybe take the vaccuum for a spin and unload the dishwasher...all before 9am Geez....I could go on.

Is that mean of me? I just feel like I deserve this break and he needs to really get what it is like all day everyday. Yes, I know he needs some time also, but he gets it...he golfs, plays softball, spends quality time in the bathroom with the sports section!

Re: Am I being mean?

I think you should go away with your girlfriends and then next week your mom should take the kids for the day and night to give you an extra break!

Re: Am I being mean?

I totally agree with you! There is no reason that he can't take care of both of his children. Have fun!

Re: Am I being mean?

Posted by Calla

I think you should go away with your girlfriends and then next week your mom should take the kids for the day and night to give you an extra break!

Re: Am I being mean?

Posted by Calla

I think you should go away with your girlfriends and then next week your mom should take the kids for the day and night to give you an extra break!

Re: Am I being mean?

Definitely don't tell him that your mom offered. Let him do the job!!!! You may come back to a man that has a new found understanding of what you do every day!!

Re: Am I being mean?

I would say, Thanks mom but no thanks. She probably offered so you wouldnt' worry and have a great time But I agree- my DH has been WAY sweeter since my BF bacherlorette party last weekend.

Re: Am I being mean?

Your not being mean. I remember around Thanksgiving I had plans to meet up w/ my friend & go food shopping. My husband wasn't feeling well. I left & my brother thought I was being mean. I told him I could be dying & he will still go to work. Now he gets to see what I feel. And I was out guilt free.

Re: Am I being mean?

Posted by SuzyQ

Posted by Calla

I think you should go away with your girlfriends and then next week your mom should take the kids for the day and night to give you an extra break!

I agree. You are not being mean at all. He needs to see what it's really like!

Re: Am I being mean?

NO - you are not being mean - BUT I will warn you that if you really expect that anything will get some around the house when he has 2 kids - well you're kidding your self. If he isn't the type that has had lots of experience taking on the 2 young-ungs then they - as men in general - get overwhelmed - easily! We love them - our DH but we must face that they don't mulit-task well at all...
Go out - Enjoy - but don't be disappointed when you come home to what looks like a train wreck in your living room, kitchen, dining room... and any other room they may have had access to

Have a great time with your girlfriends and I'd take the other suggestion about you Mum taking the kids for you for a day - and that way maybe you'll get a nice quiet day - and maybe a date night with DH without having kids to come home to - wink wink ...

Re: Am I being mean?

I don't think you are mean, but I think you may be wasting your energy.

DH has yet to be with DD for more than 3 hours. He's not around during the week and he still gets his weekend AC trips, golf, etc. So I totally know how you feel (minus 1 child)

I had a friend in town last weekend I went to LI to spend the day - he called his mom to come over to help him watch DD.

Most men can't do what we do. They aren't efficient multi-taskers. I hate making excuses for them, but its easier than trying to understand them

Message edited 7/13/2007 9:33:56 PM.

Re: Am I being mean?

No, you are not being mean at all. Men don't understand how hard we have it sometimes. It'll be a good experience for him.

Re: Am I being mean?

Its not mean at all. They are his kids too.

Re: Am I being mean?

Nope, not mean at all. He is the father, it's his turn. Who knows, maybe he will surprise you and do a great job. Hey, it's possible.

Re: Am I being mean?

Posted by Calla

I think you should go away with your girlfriends and then next week your mom should take the kids for the day and night to give you an extra break!

Re: Am I being mean?

As a guy, I also think you should leave him alone with the kids. It definitely opens our eyes to what you moms go through. I actually like it when DW leaves me alone with DC. I get more housework done then. When DW is home, I wind up spending more time with her than doing chores. When I'm alone with the kids, I have them "help" me get the dishes for the dishwasher, clean up some of their toys, vacuum (DS has is own pretend vacuum that looks like daddy's so we "vacuum" together sometimes).

BTW, men are very good at multitasking.... most of us can watch the ball game and still pretend to listen to you...

Re: Am I being mean?

How was your getaway Doreen?

Re: Am I being mean?

NOT BEING MEAN AT ALL!!!!! I have the same thing going on. In a few weeks my gfriends and I are going away for the night (leaving 6am Sat coing home later Sun) and DH is watching DS . My mom will be away which I'm secretly happy about ) so he's definately got him overnight. I KNOW during the day he'll take him to his mother's house to get a break but she'd never take him overnight.

I can tell you there is NO WAY any housework will get done and most likely you'll come home to a MESS (I know I probably will). It's good for them every once in awhile. I went away for 2 days last year and when I came home DH thought I was a goddess!!!!!!

HAVE FUN

Re: Am I being mean?

It's not mean at all.

But, here's the thing, is your DH trustworthy of the kids?

If DH watched the kids alone all day, they would have stinky diapers, starve, watch tv all day, and never nap. Sad, but true.

Re: Am I being mean?

I don't think it's mean at all!!!!!! Have fun!!!

Re: Am I being mean?

Thanks. Weekend was fun and DH did fine which I knew he would! (He's had to do it before). He even vaccummed, did the dishes and laundry.