did you tell your friends/family about your problems?

my family doesn't know i'm TTC but some friends do. so i get asked all the time, which at first i liked but now i dread.

did you tell them when you started getting further tests? i'm not sure what to do.

Re: did you tell your friends/family about your problems?

My sister and my mom know...and now all of my aunts know, thanks to my Mom

Re: did you tell your friends/family about your problems?

My sister knows b/c she's a doctor and in the beginning I would always call her after my doctors appointments. My dad knows, because I really can't keep anything from him.

My other BIL knows b/c he is a chiropractor/energy healer, and I've gone to him on occassion to be "worked on"

Message edited 10/20/2007 10:59:08 AM.

Re: did you tell your friends/family about your problems?

Initially, no. Then we sort of had to. We get a tremendous amount of support from family.

Re: did you tell your friends/family about your problems?

Only my mother and 1 of my cousin's (who's one of my best friends) knows that we are TTC... thats it! And we will not tell ANYONE until we are 3 months prego...

Although everyone just assumes... its really annoying when everyone ask... but I have to admit... I think I asked a few people after they got married... so I am learning from my mistakes.

Re: did you tell your friends/family about your problems?

Yes, I think pretty much all of them know now. I told my mom in July when we began testing and I knew once she knew everyone else would know (she is not capable of keeping a secret, it's a well known flaw she has ). Anyway, I have found that the more I am able to be open about everything, the better I feel. I hate how infertility is such a secretive and taboo subject. So slowly everyone is finding out.

Re: did you tell your friends/family about your problems?

Both of our parents know, our brothers and sisters and about 3 of my closest friends. I am happy with the people who know, it's enough support for me. DH is actually all that matters, he is such a great support and feel so lucky to have him in my life.

Re: did you tell your friends/family about your problems?

Pretty much everyone knows at this point, especially after I ended up in the hospital in January.

Re: did you tell your friends/family about your problems?

Neither family knows...but a few friends do. I didnt want to deal with the constant phone calls and questions.

Re: did you tell your friends/family about your problems?

When I first found out I was very secretive about it. I didn't even tell my mom, but then when I was always sick from the Metformin, I didn't want her to worry about something different, so I decided to tell her, and she was so supportive, I am glad I did.
I have been telling more and more people as time goes on. It really is horrible how IF has such a stigma attached to it. If we were pregnant, we would be excited to tell the whole world. But because we have trouble conceiving, we keep it secret.
I have also found the more I tell people, the more support I get, and the more I find out I am really not alone in this - that if the person I told hasn't experienced IF directly, she knows someone who has.

Re: did you tell your friends/family about your problems?

My parents know because they went with me to my HSG and I couldn't keep it from them. My friends and some of my co-workers that I'm close to know. FH's family doesn't know.

Re: did you tell your friends/family about your problems?

Pretty much everyone knows. My whole family, DH's family, our friends (a few of which are going through IF also), work people...I have no problem talking about it nor do I care if people know. It's a major thing going on in our lives and I don't feel the need to keep it a secret...although I am already a really open person with almost everything.

Re: did you tell your friends/family about your problems?

Two of my friends know but only one of them know how about the tests, doctor visits, etc.

Re: did you tell your friends/family about your problems?

2 of my friends know, but I couldn't tell my mother as she has been going through treatment for her breast cancer. IL's don't know anything either.

Re: did you tell your friends/family about your problems?

At first I kept we kept it to ourselves - just immediate family. I guess I was embarrased - felt bad, etc.
Now, I am super excited and I pretty much tell everyone! And everyone is really supportive. You never know what people are going through. Now when I tell people - they always have a story too... it's interesting...

Best of luck!

Re: did you tell your friends/family about your problems?

My mom knew. She asked me one day if we were ttc and I just burst out crying. So at that point, I decided to tell her. I also told 2 close friends. I felt that I really needed that support at such a difficult time.

Re: did you tell your friends/family about your problems?

my friends knew to what degree we were TTC, my SIL knew, but i didn't tell my parents until i was pregnant then when i m/c that pregnancy my family found out about the IVF. I wasn't ashamed I just didn't want needless questions/comments.

Re: did you tell your friends/family about your problems?

We are just in the beginning stages (just had my day 3 blood test this morning), but I've been thinking about the same question. I mean, all of my family, friends, relatives know that I need IVF, so thats no secret...I just don't know when to tell them that we are starting it, or what not. Part of me wants to tell them because its nice to have support, but the other part of me doesn't want to say anything because I don't want to get anyone's hopes up and then if it doesn't work have to tell everyone about it.

Not sure what to do...

Re: did you tell your friends/family about your problems?

My immediate family and some friends know.

I've recently taken steps to NOT tell anyone what I'm doing as far as my infertility is concerned. I have been TTC for over 2 years and honestly, its getting more and more difficult with each passing month. I know my family and friends care about me and just want to know what's going on in my life, but its difficult to tell them about the constant negatives and constant bad news. Its hard enough to go through it, nevermind talk about it with 57 different people.

Honestly, what I would do is, tell the people you are close to what's going on in your life to stop all the questions. And then I would also say that, if they didn't mind, you'd like to talk about it at your own pace. And see if they understand. I had a hard time with one particular friend that thought it was the end of the world that I didn't want to discuss my fertility with her, but everyone else understood. It's a very personal and private thing that you're going through. You should be able to talk/not talk about it when you want to. Real friends and family will understand.

Re: did you tell your friends/family about your problems?

Pretty much everyone knows on my end. I'm very open about it.

Re: did you tell your friends/family about your problems?

Pretty much all of our family knew we had a hard time conceiving. When we decided to do IVF we only told my mom and sister...main reason because I didn't want to be asked if it worked or not. It did work for us but we never told the rest of our family about IVF...not even DHs mom or sister.

Re: did you tell your friends/family about your problems?