I Just don't know what to do anymore (long)

Today I think I hit rock-bottom...

I was again called into a meeting of a "disciplinary nature" by the principal, due to my lack of classroom management...except I haven't had any problems recently that werent beyond my control (you know my getting stabbed with a pencil/ getting bitten 2 weeks ago)

I thought the meeting was about a completely different topic but when they brought this subject again i was at a loss i even gave the principal a look like what the heck are you talking about? well to some it up this is what she said to me

I dont trust you to be in a classroom alone

I know every morning when i have to put you in a classroom that there is going to be trobule

why is it that when she sees me in the classroom i seem to look like a deer in headlights

it would be unfair for me to give you a satisfactory rating at the end of the year when in februray you still cant control a classroom even after all the advice i have given you.

then she asked me when i was in my room during my prep(waiting for this meeting mind you that got pushed back til later on in the day) why i didnt try to get the students in control, even tho it was my prep time apparently i should have controlled them with another teacher in the room? shouldnt that be her job?

basically i got called a bad teacher and that actually is making me terribly upset and i already cried out of frustration

she said all these horribly mean things to me which brought me to a breaking point today.

conviently last week when i had to cover classes i had thought i was making strides in my management but she wasnt even in school all last week to see it

they always catch me at the bad moments to point out the bad things and never catch me at a good time when things were all running well and smoothly

not to mention after thing meeting during extended day 2 kids got into a fight and i ha to hold one back and tell him to calm down, insetead of kicking and slapping the crap out of another child....(these too kids get into fights daily like 3 times a day) and of course the AP walks in.

I've really just about had it, I've said b4 that I was thinking about quitting, but i know im stronger than that, but i really just dont know anymore....

all the bad vibes from the school, the kids and everything inbetween is making me feel so horrible about myself and teaching

i mean i wouldnt have dont so well in college and student teaching if i was this bad? there is something just not connecting here, and i think its a personal attack on me and its making feel like they are driving me to try and quit

i dont know what to say anymore im tired, im broken and im frustrated

Re: I Just don't know what to do anymore (long)

I can imagine how you must feel. I know you've posted about having issues with your job before. Maybe they're just looking to point blame at someone or take it out on someone and you're unfortunately it. Take a deep breath, and keep putting out your resume like you were before. Hopefully another interview will pop up like it did last time, especially since it's getting closer to the end of the year. FM me if you need to vent!

Re: I Just don't know what to do anymore (long)

I'm really sorry. It certainly sounds like you're in a bad, unsupportive (if that's even a word?) place. I can understand why you feel like quitting, but maybe you just need a better school. I can't imagine many people would be successful in the environment you're in. FM if you feel like venting more. I'm really sorry you're going through this.

Re: I Just don't know what to do anymore (long)

Listen, I have been in the NYC system for eight years (HS level) and I have seen this happen before. You're being picked on. I have noticed all of your posts are of the same nature-you are an unsupported first year (I think...)teacher in an awful school. Some teachers, for whatever reason, just get picked on by the administration. I think that if she is going to give you a "U" rating for the year and you are untenured, you may as well turn in your 30 days notice. You shouldn't be subjected to a verbal attack from an administrator. You can resign from the DOE and get a job in a private school or a daycare temporarily and then come back to the DOE when you are ready--and don't settle for the first school that offers you a job. Too many teachers are made to feel as if they are lucky for having a job at all, which is not true. The schools are lucky to have teachers like us. You should also contact your union rep. I think that they have classroom management programs that might "save" you if you enroll in one.

Good luck.

Re: I Just don't know what to do anymore (long)

Posted by Snickers

Listen, I have been in the NYC system for eight years (HS level) and I have seen this happen before. You're being picked on. I have noticed all of your posts are of the same nature-you are an unsupported first year (I think...)teacher in an awful school. Some teachers, for whatever reason, just get picked on by the administration. I think that if she is going to give you a "U" rating for the year and you are untenured, you may as well turn in your 30 days notice. You shouldn't be subjected to a verbal attack from an administrator. You can resign from the DOE and get a job in a private school or a daycare temporarily and then come back to the DOE when you are ready--and don't settle for the first school that offers you a job. Too many teachers are made to feel as if they are lucky for having a job at all, which is not true. The schools are lucky to have teachers like us. You should also contact your union rep. I think that they have classroom management programs that might "save" you if you enroll in one.

Good luck.

Re: I Just don't know what to do anymore (long)

Have you talked to your UFT rep? Weren't they in there with you?

Re: I Just don't know what to do anymore (long)

I def dont want to take a U however i want to make my teaching career in the NYC DOE, so i dont want to leave either, im stuck, plus theres also the issue of my certifcation since its not the permanent kind...

my uft rep was at the meeting with me and shes also my mentor....i just was too angry to talk afterwards so i was planning to sit down with her tomorrow

thanks for the advice and feedback, i have to think about some things this weekend because it is my career on the line, and i dont like feeling bullied

Re: I Just don't know what to do anymore (long)

I am so sorry that you have to be overwhelmed with this lack of administrative support! I think it is a shame that instead of working with you to make the experiences better for EVERYONE the school is playing the "Gotcha" game.

Where is your Mentor? If she is too busy acting as UFT Rep? Maybe you should get another one? Where are the peer coaches in Literacy and Math? Regardless of what subject you teach, these people are valuable resources.

Also, a little tip about the U rating. There is a way to avoid that .
FM me for more info.

Re: I Just don't know what to do anymore (long)

Re: I Just don't know what to do anymore (long)

You need to talk to your union rep, and from now on do not go to these "meetings" alone. Instead, tell your AP that you would like your union rep to be present, it is your right to have him/her there!!!!


Sorry!

I didn't read all of the posts, so I see you hade your rep there..but how is your union rep your mentor??? I don't that should be, a mentor is usually an outside person from the RO

Message edited 2/9/2008 12:54:11 PM.

Re: I Just don't know what to do anymore (long)

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I have seen untentured teacher getting taken advantage of. I have also seen what happens when principals have their favorites and treat others unfairly. I thought the advice above about trying to take a classroom management workshop was a great idea. I think it would be smart to make one last great effort by going in their strong and demanding help for the weaknesses they are accusing you of having. Your principal is claiming to have given you advice - what does that mean? She should have you observing other teachers, working with your mentor, getting PD. Your union rep should be helping you demand these things. I've seen a principal promise help to a struggling teacher and then not really providing it until the teacher asked for it over and over again. That teacher is untentured and fighting to keep her job. Anyway, I agree that I might give notice before letting myself get a U rating as an untentured teacher but I think I'd give it one last best shot.
Good luck

Re: I Just don't know what to do anymore (long)

Posted by Spring Baby06

You need to talk to your union rep, and from now on do not go to these "meetings" alone. Instead, tell your AP that you would like your union rep to be present, it is your right to have him/her there!!!!


Sorry!

I didn't read all of the posts, so I see you hade your rep there..but how is your union rep your mentor??? I don't that should be, a mentor is usually an outside person from the RO