How do you handle seeing pics of Loved Ones after their death......

I just lost my dad last week and when i look at pics of him i get really sad. He died of leukemia and its weird because i havent seen him look "normal" since the beginning of October.

He had a really tough time in the hospital and lost so much weight, he had no hair, etc.

I have a wedding pic of him on my desk at work but it was 2 years ago and he looks so good in the pic. I just have such a rough time seeing him like that. Like i just wish he was still like that. I get so pi$$ed of that he had to get this terrible disease that ultimately took his life.

How do you guys get when you see pics of your loved ones? Do you get sad or happy?

Re: How do you handle seeing pics of Loved Ones after their death......

First let me say Im sorry about your loss

Its been 6 years since my moms passing, I have no trouble seeing old pictures of her, but the ones that were within the last year of her passing are hard for me to look at. My mother got ill very fast, she didnt tell anyone, we found out she had cancer in Nov. and she passed in Jan. So when we look at the pictures a year prior from her passing we wonder "was she sick then", we no longer look at them, we examine them to see if we could see any signs that we missed. So now i only look at the older pictures, none of the more recent ones.

Re: How do you handle seeing pics of Loved Ones after their death......

So sorry about your loss

I lost my Nanny over 4 years ago & I can tell you that now I can look at pictures of her & smile. It took a good 2.5 years though to do that. She got VERY sick the last year of her life with Parkinson's & Dementia. She lost tons of weight & had to have a feeding tube installed. We took pictures of her in the nursing facility on the holidays bc we didn't want to miss another photo opportunity so we had the memories. Whe she first passed away, I could not look at those pictures bc I would cry uncontrollably. After some time though, when I looked at them, I realized how she was so at peace now & you could see she had no quality of life left. Of course I always question "why her, she didn't deserve it" but again things work in mysterious ways.

I lost my Poppy over 5.5 years ago & I never really had a time frame where I could not look at his pictures. Of course he got sick & passed away in a quick time manner, so I think it was still more of a shock then anything.

With that said, I think it becomes more difficult to look at pictures of our loved ones that passed while they were sick bc we know that "wasn't" them! In due time though, you will be ok & those pictures will make you smile bc you remember the good times!

Re: How do you handle seeing pics of Loved Ones after their death......

I'm so sorry about your Dad...My step-father died 1 1/2yrs ago and it's tough to look at pics of him. It does get easier, but it takes time. By easier I mean..the wanting to break down and sob goes away, and is replaced by a lump in your throat. I try to remember the certain picture I look at. Here's an example. I have a pic of him and my mom on the last Christmas before he died...it was taken 7months before. It was the 1rst Christmas with Joe in my life and it was a party they were having with Tom's side of the family. I rememebr my mom was so mad becasue Tom was SMASHED and took Joe out to the "shop" to talk and I wouldn't save him. I figured he was a big boy and could handle himself. Anyway I took a picture of them in the kitchen and now everytime I look at it I remember how funny that night was. That's what you have to remember and after time the fun, happy memories come back. Right now it's just to painful to remember ....fm if I can help at all or if you want to talk!

Re: How do you handle seeing pics of Loved Ones after their death......

i won't lie, its hard. right where i get out of bed, there's a pic of my grandmother. the day after she died, it was hard looking at it. i even have a pic of her on my desk. at first wasn't sure if i look at it once i went back to work. dh said leave it there, just remember the good and happy times.. i never had an unhappy memory of my grandmother. it helps me get through the bad days

Re: How do you handle seeing pics of Loved Ones after their death......

I'm so sorry.
It does get better with time.

Now, I look forward to seeing theirs pictures.

Re: How do you handle seeing pics of Loved Ones after their death......

Interesting question..
I just watched my wedding video of my dad walking me down the aisle and I swear, I felt like he was here. Maybe its those kind of memories that you need to remember and savor. People dont like to look at pics and videos...I found it helpful.

Re: How do you handle seeing pics of Loved Ones after their death......

its mixed for me - sometimes it makes me happy and sometiems it makes me sad. but almost always I think about when the picture was taken and think to myself 'this was two years before she got breast cancer, etc.'

i have the most recent picture of me and my parents framed and in my LR...most recent before my mom got sick, that is. and i always think about how it was only one year before.

Re: How do you handle seeing pics of Loved Ones after their death......

I am so sorry. I lost my mom almost 2 years ago. In the beginning I would cry everytime I saw a pic of her but now it gets a little easier. Sometimes if I see a pic of I would think about that day or event and laugh or sometimes I cry about how she was not here for another event or day.

Re: How do you handle seeing pics of Loved Ones after their death......

I am very sorry for your loss.

This is one of those issues that gets easier with time. When the raw pain of his loss is not so fresh, it will get easier.

Re: How do you handle seeing pics of Loved Ones after their death......

Im so sorry for your loss. It does get better. My mom has been gone for a little over a year, but I still cry when I see her pics

Re: How do you handle seeing pics of Loved Ones after their death......

So sorry for your loss. My mom has been gone 5 years and it is so so hard. I like looking at pics of her. I know I will never forget her, but I just love to look at her smile and remember all the good times and how wonderful she was.

Re: How do you handle seeing pics of Loved Ones after their death......

so sorry for you loss

I lost my dad 3 yrs ago..He too was sick for awhile and the last good picture I have with him was from my sister's wedding (my avatar pic) which was 2 yrs before his passing. I don't really like looking at pics from when he was sick-its not good memories but of course I still look at them and realize how lucky I was to have such a wonderful father. Even though our time got cut short I still am thankful for the times we had together

Re: How do you handle seeing pics of Loved Ones after their death......

It took me awhile with my grandmother. To this day, it's a quick glance. I don't know why. I think I'm afraid I will cry.

Re: How do you handle seeing pics of Loved Ones after their death......

We do not have pictures of my father when he was sick. However, I keep pictures of him all over my home because his smile was so beautiful and I need to remember it. My heart tells me that I will see his face again in one of my children.