Alex is upset with me

Ever since my father went into the hospital, I've barely spent any time with her. I go into work early and after work, I spend a few hours with my Dad, so at most, I'm getting about an hour a day with her. And on top of that, I'm just all around grumpy.

I explain to her everyday why I'm gone, that Grandpa is sick and in the hospital and that Mommy is sad because Grandpa is sick.

But, yeah, well she's 3 and there's only so much she can understand. The fact is, by the time I get home, she's clearly upset with me. She won't let me hug or kiss her, and won't let me do anything for her.

Is there anything I can do to make this a little easier on her, and not feel so bad that I'm neglecting my own daughter?

Re: Alex is upset with me

Can you bring her to see your dad for like a 1/2 hour? I bet it would do wonders for him and Alex.

Message edited 7/2/2008 7:47:43 AM.

Re: Alex is upset with me

Re: Alex is upset with me

Re: Alex is upset with me

Just wanted to offer some hugs

When my oldest was 3 my mom was in the hospital for a month. I remember how hard it was and what a difficult time my daughter had with it. I did bring her to the hospital on occasion but, in all honesty, it wasn't a great place for her. I also alternated visiting and childcare with my sister (she also had a 3 year old at that time). The thing that helped most was my husband being home with her as much as possible.

It is never easy but at some point we all have to deal with our parents declining health. There is no easy answer but your also teaching her a very important lesson, that we take care of those we love. My daughter (who is now almost 11), remembers the time I spent at the hospital and even visiting her grandma.

I hope he's doing better and hope you both get a well deserved break soon!!!

Re: Alex is upset with me

Re: Alex is upset with me

I would try (if you can) do do something special with her, just Mommy and Alex. Maybe also bring her home some little treats. Like a puzzle that you could do together.

When my MIL was very sick and my DH had to spend most of his free time with her made sure to do special things alone with Damien and it really helped.

Message edited 7/2/2008 8:36:07 AM.

Re: Alex is upset with me

Beth - I have gotten a lot of heat from Talia too since my surgery. She stayed with my parents for a few days and now she tells everyone that she lives with them. She has been acting out like crazy - Micha and I are ready to pull our hair out....so I understand!!!!

Can you take some mommy/Alex time over the weekend and do something just the two of you. I know you are not going to be home - maybe that will help??? Maybe bring home a treat for her when you get home at night (stickers, lollipop, etc...).

I know it is hard - but it is temporary and sometimes you have to just say to yourself - its ok...she is not going to be scarred for life - its a tough time and you will all get through it.