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LIPrincess
Foxy Lady
Member since 6/05 1610 total posts
Name:
Jaimie
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If you knew then, what you know now...
would you have still married your dh with all his ex problems.
My friend asked me this and I said probably not until she turned 18 only because then we could live together, own a house but I would've done some things a little different.
In no way would I lhave left my dh I love him too much he truly is my best friend.
Message edited 9/19/2008 12:47:12 PM.
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Posted 9/19/08 10:10 AM  |
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legallyblonde
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/08 850 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: If you knew then, what you know now...
My marrying my DH didn't change our situation at all with BM or SD. So to answer your question, yes, I still would have married DH. BUT keep in mind that my DH was not married to BM and they have always worked things out amongst each other...they have never had any type of legal or court intervention. From what I read from some of the SM's on here, I think that a legal course of action makes things way more difficult.
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| Posted 9/19/08 11:09 AM |
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NinaLemon
It's a boy!!!
Member since 10/07 6453 total posts
Name:
Jeannine
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Re: If you knew then, what you know now...
Absolutely, being a step-mom is tough and always being connected to my DHs Ex is awkward, but the the downsides are not even close to positives.
When we started dating, I took him and his son as a package deal, it has been difficult because my SS has learning disabilites, emotional issues as well as developmental issues. We do not agree with how his mother deals with his difficulties, (we are much more strict) and expect more out of my SS than she does. We don’t baby him or do his homework for him. But we do the best we can with the circumstances.
The stress and pain we feel (esp. when SS says he would rather be with his Mom, or that he hates us) is worth it when we see him do well on a test or even something as simple as remembering to close the fridge door.
My SS is part of my DH, the good and the bad, if I had waited 6 more years until he turns 18, I feel like I would not be allowing myself to fully love my DH, I would be leaving out a huge part of him, the part that is his son.
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| Posted 9/19/08 11:15 AM |
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Bops
My 3 wishes
Member since 12/07 13625 total posts
Name:
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Re: If you knew then, what you know now...
I absolutely would have still married him- My only regret is that I didnt assist him more when he had his custody/child support agreement written up (we were not married yet) because I think we could have headed off a lot of the problems we are facing now w/ BM ( I am more detail oreinted than he is- and he didnt use his own lawyer !) I also don't regret the time I did get to spend with my SD when she was still visting with us- she is a piece of him and that means a lot to me even with everything we are going through...We are fortunate though that my DH was never married to the BM (because I'm sure she would even be more psycho- if thats even a possibility  )
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| Posted 9/19/08 11:21 AM |
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ThePinkGoose
In Your Hands
Member since 8/08 4706 total posts
Name:
Nunya
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Re: If you knew then, what you know now...
Ughhgh this is a tough question. This sort of has a twist. If I knew when I met DH how hard this was going to be, I don't know. When me and DH first were getting to know each other, I completely denied that I was in love with him and kept him at an arm's distance. Try as I could, I didn't have a chance - I was in love from the first moment I saw him...yes that Movie Moment HHAHAH. We have not had it easy by any means but we stuck together and made it through. I just don't have an answer to this question, I have no regrets but it sure was NOT easy.
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| Posted 9/19/08 11:44 AM |
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ziamaria
I love this boy!
Member since 4/07 3372 total posts
Name:
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Re: If you knew then, what you know now...
Posted by AnaMaree77
Ughhgh this is a tough question. This sort of has a twist. If I knew when I met DH how hard this was going to be, I don't know. When me and DH first were getting to know each other, I completely denied that I was in love with him and kept him at an arm's distance. Try as I could, I didn't have a chance - I was in love from the first moment I saw him...yes that Movie Moment HHAHAH. We have not had it easy by any means but we stuck together and made it through. I just don't have an answer to this question, I have no regrets but it sure was NOT easy.
very well said - many of my same emotions
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| Posted 9/19/08 9:08 PM |
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gpsyeyes
She's my world!!!
Member since 8/06 1184 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: If you knew then, what you know now...
Posted by NinaLemon
Absolutely, being a step-mom is tough and always being connected to my DHs Ex is awkward, but the the downsides are not even close to positives.
When we started dating, I took him and his son as a package deal, it has been difficult because my SS has learning disabilites, emotional issues as well as developmental issues. We do not agree with how his mother deals with his difficulties, (we are much more strict) and expect more out of my SS than she does. We don’t baby him or do his homework for him. But we do the best we can with the circumstances.
The stress and pain we feel (esp. when SS says he would rather be with his Mom, or that he hates us) is worth it when we see him do well on a test or even something as simple as remembering to close the fridge door.
My SS is part of my DH, the good and the bad, if I had waited 6 more years until he turns 18, I feel like I would not be allowing myself to fully love my DH, I would be leaving out a huge part of him, the part that is his son.
Well said and exactly how I feel. We're married almost 5 years now & have a daughter together, plus my two SD's live with us since we were married & I wouldn't change a thing! We went through hell to get custody, but it was well worth it all (even taking all our wedding money and giving it right to the lawyer (and then some)!!
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| Posted 9/22/08 11:37 AM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: If you knew then, what you know now...
Yes, I would. Only because now during our marriage there is none to minimal drama. The major battles may be in regards to different opinions of how to raise SS. However, when we were dating there was such huge crap and drama, I used to think man what did I get into, should I walk away, if this doesnt work out I will not date someone with a kids a gain. But I did love the man and I am glad I stayd in the relationship, not only is he the best DH but we have all matured (BM, DH, SS and myself) and I am glad I have him and his son in my life. I wouldnt want it any other way.
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| Posted 9/23/08 5:11 PM |
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clwp
Love my girls!
Member since 10/06 2114 total posts
Name:
mommy
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Re: If you knew then, what you know now...
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Message edited 9/26/2008 8:09:37 AM.
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| Posted 9/25/08 11:07 PM |
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cantbelieveit
Love these kids!
Member since 10/05 4708 total posts
Name:
Tammy
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Re: If you knew then, what you know now...
I absolutely still would have married him. However, I had no clue the difficulties I would have to face. It hasn't been and isn't easy for a second. I grew up with a step father and although my family has their problems now, I give him more credit than he could imagine. He treated me like his own and I commend that.
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| Posted 9/26/08 10:36 PM |
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