This is interesting........

Sooo....I'm going to quickly try to explain this the best I can. I met DH in 2000 and we've been dating ever since. He has two biological children, now my SS & SD. He also has an adopted son with his ex, she got pregnant when she was 14 (claimed she was raped & didn't know who the father was) and when they got married, DH adopted the child and raised him for many years, this kid always called him dad. After the divorce, this kid wanted nothing at all to do with DH and especially nothing to do with me. We tried many times, called, asked for visitation, sent gifts but got nothing back. DH was ordered to pay child support for the child naturally because he was his adopted father.

No sooner does DH move out of the house, his ex "suddenly finds" her first child's father and moves him into the house. This is the man that supposedly "raped" her many moons ago and now he's living in my DH's house with his ex, their son and DH's two children (Talk about JERRY SPRINGER!!) If you know DH and I, we are not like that at all. We're both religious people, come from very tight-knit European families and she's just trashy. I'm not saying this because she is my DH's ex, she just is what she is and we're on good terms now but these sort of things that she's lied about and done in her past have made me disrespect her more than I ever thought I could. So anyhow....

Even though she "reunited" with the rapist, and now the first kid is living with his natural father, the court still rules that my DH should pay child support for the kid even though he wants nothing to do with DH...the court system is MESSED UP. So, nothing, whatever, DH pays it and a couple of year's later when it's supposed to end, we are informed that this kid is going to College so we still have to pay support. After a year and a half, we finally get confirmation that he hasn't been going to college at all and that she's taking us for all this money plus aftercare costs for my SS & SD and lying about everything. The court finds her wrong and now she has to back pay us the money at a whopping $20 a week WHATEVER.

So now this is about 3 years ago. BM and the rapist eventually have another baby together and get married. We hear all these horrible stories from the kids about how they fight and how the other kid doesn't get along with his natural father, he even kept my husband's last name all these years. Slowly, he's been contacting me and trying to have a relationship with us. First it was little messages thru the kids, then it was requesting me and DH on facebook, now he is chatting with me nearly every day asking how "DAD" is doing and announcing to everyone that i'm his "STEPMOM"....


I can't even continue writing because i'm just at a loss for words....Is this a good thing? A bad thing? how would you react? I do honestly like the kid and figure he had it rough growing up, he was spoiled by his grandparent's and I should let it go. It irks me that he wants me to be his stepmom NOW..why NOW?? Why after all these years? He even asks me if i'm having a baby soon so he can have a new brother or sister.

Re: This is interesting........

Wow that is some story- I can understand your apprehension , but could it be that maybe it really took him this long ro realize what he is missing out on ? We all know that being a biological father and being a "dad" can be two very different things...Maybe he felt as though he needed to give his BF a chance without your DH in the picture ( I wholeheartedly do not agree with this, but I'm also not a male teenager , so I'm trying to see it from a different angle )....

I also know from our own experience , how much pressure and the mind games that can be played on the minds of a child by a biological parent ( maybe mom made him feel like his loyalty should be with the BF because she wanted that "happy" family feel ) ....Its so hard to say when you dont know what went on behind closed doors...

I don't think its ever too late to rekindle a relationship, on whatever level it may end up on...Mybe Facebook is his way of trying to get to know you better and he is realizing that he might actually " like" you .....I hope you all work this out !!

Re: This is interesting........

Maybe he is trying. Maybe now that he is older he can see some of the truths or just see things more clearly and he realizes you are not the enemy, but doesn't know how to approach the subject. What does DH think about it?