UPDATE AT BOTTOM OF ORIGINAL POST ...So last night we told our families....you GOTTA read this

We had my parents and DH's parents, my sister, her BF, and sister in law over last night for a BBQ.
DH's parents and sister live out of town and were here for SIL shower (which is today).
So i got 2 really super cute frames from Kohls that say something like
"just when you though life was complete.....along comes a grandchild"
In the picture part, I printed something out at work that says" Coming in March 2010"
Okay so when they found out, there were lots of shreeks, screams, Oh My God's and crying.
Great, thats how everyones reaction should be.........
Fast foward to the end of the night.
SIL left and MIL comes up to me in the kitchen and says "I would really like you to wait until after tomorrow before telling anyone else"
I responded with- oh well thats too late because your daughter already put it on FB.
Now dont get me wrong, Im not p!ssed that SIL put it on FB- I did the same thing before I went to bed.
I am beyond p!ssed that MIL had the nerve to ask me to wait until AFTER SIL's shower??? Not like I was making the announcement at her shower you know?????
When she said that to me, I felt myself getting all teary-eyed and went downstairs and cried.
Am I over-reacting or was she in the wrong?


So I go to the shower today- wore a "baggy shirt" cause I didnt want any attention.....
All the cousins and aunts already knew because SIL posted it on FB....they told me that when they got there MIL told them to not bring it up or talk about me being pregnant because its not my day....... Im not sure what p@ssed me off more- last nights comment or this one......
UGH

Whatever Im over it..............
IM HAVING A BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Message edited 8/23/2009 9:26:47 PM.

Re: So last night we told our families....you GOTTA read this

Sorry you are feeling this way! I kinda see where you are both coming from- you want to share your news, and your MIL is obviously ecstatic but wants today to be about your SIL as it is her shower.

Kind of like you wouldn't announce you were engaged the day before your sisters bridal shower, you know? Simply because today it should be all about her, and I could see it feeling like the attention would be diverted to someone else.....does that make sense?

I don't think you are being over sensitive- I think you just want to share your news which is perfectly understandable....but I can definitely see the other side of it.

Re: So last night we told our families....you GOTTA read this

Posted by QueSeraSera

Sorry you are feeling this way! I kinda see where you are both coming from- you want to share your news, and your MIL is obviously ecstatic but wants today to be about your SIL as it is her shower.

Kind of like you wouldn't announce you were engaged the day before your sisters bridal shower, you know? Simply because today it should be all about her, and I could see it feeling like the attention would be diverted to someone else.....does that make sense?

I don't think you are being over sensitive- I think you just want to share your news which is perfectly understandable....but I can definitely see the other side of it.

Re: So last night we told our families....you GOTTA read this

Obviously SIL doesnt have a problem since she posted it on FB. Sounds like your MIL is like mine...making an issue where there shouldnt be one. Or requests that really do not involve her. people just need to be happy for each other and so what if you had posted it on FB first--you are not a child and taking someones thunder, spotlight etc to me has always been childish when it comes to happy moments in ones life. True friends/family with good intentions are not petty like this--I should know because I have both kinds in my life. So its interesting how some people respond one way and the others respond another way.

Dont get me wrong. I get both sides but in the grand scheme of everything....its not a big deal what you did since its family.

Message edited 8/23/2009 8:19:35 AM.

Re: So last night we told our families....you GOTTA read this

You have every right to feel upset. Since when is there only room for one person to have happiness?? I think that was wrong and rude of her

Re: So last night we told our families....you GOTTA read this

IMO, No you ae NOT over reacting.

Re: So last night we told our families....you GOTTA read this

I can understand both sides in this situation but it would be one thing if your SIL asked you to please keep this quiet until after the shower but the fact that she posted it on FB means she wants EVERYONE to know. Your MIL probably just wanted SIL to have her special day & enjoy the last few weeks before the wedding. You can't really blame her for that.

If it were me, I'd still tell my side & it sounds like SIL did a great job of telling her side.

Anyway, we are all happy for you here!

Message edited 8/23/2009 9:33:36 AM.

Re: So last night we told our families....you GOTTA read this

i kind of think you are overreacting a bit... only because when your MIL said that to you, she was saying it with her daughter's shower in mind, and of course SIL's shower should be all about her and not everyone coming up and congratulating you. if it was your shower, you wouldn't want that happening, would you?

i am sure she didn't mean to offend you in any way. it's not like she isn't happy about the baby!

ETA: obviously your SIL doesn't care, but your MIL didn't know she put it on FB, and i am sure she just figured SIL would be too shy to say something if she didn't want you to make the announcement till after tomorrow.

Message edited 8/23/2009 9:30:18 AM.

Re: So last night we told our families....you GOTTA read this

first of all, you are pg there is no such thing as overreacting. You should at that moment said thats why I invited you here tonight. i do not think it is a big deal. we told our family on the phone (not parents) and the first time they all saw me was at my niece's baptism, and they congratulated me. what did they take 2 seconds away from whose party it was, no big deal.

Re: So last night we told our families....you GOTTA read this

Posted by Cakes

IMO, No you ae NOT over reacting.

Re: So last night we told our families....you GOTTA read this

My best friend had to walk on tippy toes at her sisters shower when she found out she was newly pregnant. HEr mother told her the same thing, so I guess its typical because they get nervous that your going to "steal their thunder" so to speak.

In my personal opinion I think this is ridiculous!!!! I would be thrilled if my sister or sister in law or even a good friend told me they were pregnant around the time of my shower and prob want to announce it myself!!!!! I actually had a friend annoucne her pregnancy to me and I few people at my shower and I was thrilled for her. I'm all about sharing life changinng exciting news and experiancing things together with the ones I love. But, I understand that some people are not and would try not to take it too personally

Re: So last night we told our families....you GOTTA read this

I don't think it is a big deal. It isn't like you told them AT the shower itself. To me they should just be happy for you and move on. However, I wouldn't get upset about it if I were you, they sound like they are VERY happy for you and your DH and that is what really matters in the end!

Re: So last night we told our families....you GOTTA read this

Posted by KateDevine

Posted by QueSeraSera

Sorry you are feeling this way! I kinda see where you are both coming from- you want to share your news, and your MIL is obviously ecstatic but wants today to be about your SIL as it is her shower.

Kind of like you wouldn't announce you were engaged the day before your sisters bridal shower, you know? Simply because today it should be all about her, and I could see it feeling like the attention would be diverted to someone else.....does that make sense?

I don't think you are being over sensitive- I think you just want to share your news which is perfectly understandable....but I can definitely see the other side of it.

ITA with this.

I don't blame your MIL for asking you to wait either, obviously you wanted to tell them in person, and I'm sure they are thrilled that you did. But how would you honestly feel if your sister or SIL announced their pregnancy at your shower?

Message edited 8/23/2009 12:11:57 PM.

Re: So last night we told our families....you GOTTA read this

You aren't wrong to feel that way...you were excited and had great news to share. It doesn't seem like your SIL minded, so thats all that matters. Ignore MIL...we all do at some point.

We had a similar issue with my BIL. We travelled back to NY for a family party and to tell our families, and the first night we were there we told them at a bbq. Everyone swas o happy. BIL quietly tells someone that he feels that we "stole his thunder". FYI: BIL had just recently called off his wedding the week before, and this news if anything, took the heat off of him temporarily! Especially since we were in town truly to attend his engagement party that now wasn't happening.

Sometimes people are just wierd. It's my only explanation.

Re: So last night we told our families....you GOTTA read this

I think it was tacky she told you that, since your SIL is obviously excited. My SIL became preggers with TWINS a few months after me. I was THRILLED. People spent a lot of my shower taking pics of us with our bellies touching.

I hate to say it too, but most guests could probably care less, or even notice.

Re: So last night we told our families....you GOTTA read this

Like many others I see both sides. They way i'm reading it is the only reason you told them now was they are OOT and you had the chance to do it in person and not over the phone. I would also do that. I can see your MIL's point, but I honestly doubt that if she had thought about it she would not have really thought the plan was to ruin the shower for your SIL. I think no matter what we are always allowed to feel what we feel. No matter if we're right or wrong. I think your MIL just wanted the day to be about your SIL and the shower. I can't blame her. Looking back now I would have not cared if somebody had shared that news, but at the time......I would have been on LIW throwing a fit later about it My how things change! The good news is they know, are happy, and your lil bean is healthy.....the rest is gravy

Re: So last night we told our families....you GOTTA read this

I think your MIL has a good point.
My MIL "discovered" I was PG a week before SIL's shower. I asked HER not to say anything until after the shower - it's SIL's day and I didn't want to take it from her.

I know you weren't planning on making an announcement at the shower or trying to "steal your SIL's thunder" in ANY way and I think you told them in the cutest way possible, but I can really understand why she'd ask you to wait to tell people. I'm sorry you're upset!

Re: UPDATE AT BOTTOM OF ORIGINAL POST ...So last night we told our families....you GOTTA read this

now THATS rude!!!! to actually go out of her way to tell people not to mention it!! i would be ******. the first comment i would be annoyed, but understand where she's coming from. but she already mentioned it to you, she didnt need to say it to other people. good luck with her.

Re: UPDATE AT BOTTOM OF ORIGINAL POST ...So last night we told our families....you GOTTA read this

For the record, today's comment would piss me off even more!

So mad for you but like you said...who cares b/c
Your having a baby!!!!

Re: UPDATE AT BOTTOM OF ORIGINAL POST ...So last night we told our families....you GOTTA read this

As though the relatives are going to push SIL off of her chair and give you a tiara and all the gifts. And it's not like you were asking to get up in front of the room for an announcement and a toast. People are so ridiculous sometimes.

Re: UPDATE AT BOTTOM OF ORIGINAL POST ...So last night we told our families....you GOTTA read this

I think that was wrong of your MIL to say something to the family at the shower - I doubt they would have made such a big deal about you being pg that it would have taken over your SIL's day. I'd be po'd...but like you said - you're having a baby! So who cares what your MIL thinks!

Re: UPDATE AT BOTTOM OF ORIGINAL POST ...So last night we told our families....you GOTTA read this

I was going to post something COMPLETELY different than what I am going to say today. Yesterday I would have said, ehh brush it off I can understand MIL not wanting to steal SIL (and her daughter's thunder on the day of her shower).

However, with MILs new comments today I think that your MIL seems REALLY controlling. I think your DH needs to have a conversation with her sooner rather than later....Sorry you have that kind of MIL.

Re: UPDATE AT BOTTOM OF ORIGINAL POST ...So last night we told our families....you GOTTA read this

Ok so you saw my original response about seeing both sides, but after this I would be BEYOND p*ssed (This is an angry red face not a blushing face) That is just uncalled for and no excuse! Shame on your MIL

Message edited 8/24/2009 7:36:40 AM.

Re: UPDATE AT BOTTOM OF ORIGINAL POST ...So last night we told our families....you GOTTA read this

I think your MIL was out of line because as you said "its not like you where going to annouce it at your SILs shower" and honestly I think if the tables where turned and it was your SIL expecting and you having your shower EVERYONE would know because she WOULD have announce it. SO just dont let anything that they say get to you because most of the stuff that comes out of there mouths are useless....

Sorry if that was harsh but since I know them LOL I can totally agree with you

Re: UPDATE AT BOTTOM OF ORIGINAL POST ...So last night we told our families....you GOTTA read this

Posted by OMGitsaysPREGNANT

So I go to the shower today- wore a "baggy shirt" cause I didnt want any attention.....
All the cousins and aunts already knew because SIL posted it on FB....they told me that when they got there MIL told them to not bring it up or talk about me being pregnant because its not my day....... Im not sure what p@ssed me off more- last nights comment or this one......
UGH

Whatever Im over it..............
IM HAVING A BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Message edited 8/24/2009 8:19:38 AM.