so frustrated - breastfeeding

Brendan Sean arrived last Friday 9/18. from the start it was incredibly painful to nurse him. By Tuesday I was raw and bleeding. I called a lactation consultant who said that he is tongue tied and that he is chewing on my nipple. She suggested I pump until I heal.

I took him to an ENT today and it turns out that the type of tongue tie he has will not affect his speech, eating or development - it will only prevent nursing. I am not having him undergo a surgical procedure, never mind how minor, just so that I can nurse. I had supply issues with my first son, so there is no guarantee that I'd be a successful breastfeeder anyway.

I've been pumping, but when I pump, my right breast bleeds. The lactation consultant said that it's ok - but I'm not feeding my baby bloody milk and I'm not ok with what is coming out from the nipple (TMI) It's not getting a chance to heal.

I'm so frustrated. I really wanted to nurse and I won't be able to. I HATE pumping. I have a 2 year old running around and finding 20 minutes to be hands free every 2 hours is difficult - never mind the blood etc.... I'm just ready to call it quits but I'm torn up by guilt

I need advice and I need someone to tell me it's ok to stop pumping

Re: so frustrated - breastfeeding

It's okay to stop pumping

Re: so frustrated - breastfeeding

First -

Second, stopping pumping helped me start a good relationship w/ DD#1 who had latching issues. I felt horrible and guilty, but when I let it all go, I was able to enjoy my baby instead of being mad at myself (inverted nipples) and frustrated w/ her for not latching on. With #2, I was anemic and the baby was born early and slightly jaundice... not a good combo. I had to stop with her too, which like in your situation - I had another baby at home to keep up with. I'm still struggling to find balance, so despite the guilt I felt the second time too, I'm trying to enjoy the 2 blessings and get past the BFing. Hope that makes sense.

Re: so frustrated - breastfeeding

I'm a HUGE advocate for breastfeeding. My daughter didn't latch until 8 weeks. For 8 weeks I pumped when she did eventually latch we got thrush and ti was in EXCRUTIATING pain for weeks.....


I REFUSED to give up... its what I wanted more than anything....

THis being said, Happy mom= happy baby.

If you are miserbale and you can't do it anymore its ok to stop.

ANother option you could think of is supplement with formula and take abreak from pumping... don't pump as often, just enough to maintain your supply... you could always do both, nurse and FF feed... you woudl still get the bonding experience and baby will get the antibodies.

I had a very hard time pumping and wanted to give up... I found that when I got really bad that laying off on teh pumping and not having the pressure of pumping every 2 hours was enough to give me a break and keep with it......

what ever you decide, you are a great mom...... FF or BF... you are doing what is best for you and in return best for your child!

Re: so frustrated - breastfeeding

You do what's best for you and the baby.

My SIL had a HUGE issue with her first son because he was tongue tied. He wouldn't eat and she was in hell for weeks upon weeks. She didn't want to use any foreign things to help her BF, nor did she want her son to have surgery. She finally gave in to nipple shields and it made a world of difference. After some time she was able to give them up and BF normally. She BF him well past 2 years.

Re: so frustrated - breastfeeding

Re: so frustrated - breastfeeding

I felt like that too, for the 1st two weeks...

but its so not worth getting stressed about...I had no idea how I'd feel like that, but I had to let the guilt go

happy mom = happy family

Re: so frustrated - breastfeeding

thanks ladies. The chances of him latching are so small - so id really have to commit myself to pumping. I tried the nipple shields but the damage is so bad it was just as painful - and I only got thick blood from the right side.

I think I might just try to take 1/2 a day to heal and see if i can pump at least a few times a day for a while - and if not I'm giving it up. I was really committed to BFing - not pumping so I just have to make peace with it. Between my nipples and my bottom (from labor) I'm a mess and I just need to heal and bond with my baby!

Re: so frustrated - breastfeeding

it's ABSOLUTELy okay to stop pumping!!!

your baby will do great on formula and you will be much happier.

it's okay to stop if you want to

Re: so frustrated - breastfeeding

My DS was born on 9.18 as well - and we are also having issues. I am only pumping, but totally over producing, and he is rejecting my milk - so I am also battling the issue of stopping or not. He has been FF for the past few days and is happy as a clam. Im still pumping in hopes that he will take my BM eventually (I am going to try again today). As a parent there are so many things to feel guilty about - why do we torture ourselves???

Re: so frustrated - breastfeeding

ugh, I am currently breast feeding, pumping and supplementing with formula...I am dead set on being able to bf my son but he is having some issues with getting milk directly from the breast so this is what I choose to do for now until he catches on with BF'ing

that said, you need to do what is right for you and your baby will be fine and happy either way

I totally agree that a happy mom = a happy baby

Re: so frustrated - breastfeeding

If you want to stop pumping then it's absolutely okay to. Most of us were formula fed and we're all fine - plus formula has become so advanced these days. Like someone else said happy mommy = happy baby.

But if you'd like to continue to BF, I would seriously consider having the tongue tie fixed. It's really such a minor procedure and everyone I know who had it done, had no latch problems after that.

I had a really bad cracked nipple - didn't get to the point where I was pumping bloody milk, but it was extremely painful. The only thing that helped was to leave it alone for a whole day - no feeding or pumping - and leaving my breast exposed so that it dried out. It didn't heal it right away, but after time, it got much better. I also switched feeding positions from the cradle hold to the football position, which helped tons also.

Good luck!

Re: so frustrated - breastfeeding

I believe in happy mom, happy baby. You gave it your all and that's the best you can do. I understand about hating to pump. I exclusively pumped for 8 months because DS was tongue-tied and I felt like a slave to the pump. Once I switched him to formula at that point, we were both happier! I got to spend more time enjoying him and less time worrying about when and how much I would pump!

Re: so frustrated - breastfeeding

It's ok to stop pumping....my philosophy is that BF'ing is great but not for everyone...you need to make the choice that is best for your whole family....mom, dad, and baby.

Honestly, there is so much guilt and pressure around not breastfeeding..if it's not for you, don't feel guilty, do what is best for the baby and for YOU. Enjoy the time with your baby!

Re: so frustrated - breastfeeding

Re: so frustrated - breastfeeding

I am also having issues with breastfeeding.. and feeling guilty, so I know how you feel. The DR said it best, and as the others have said too, happy baby=happy mommy! I know it's tough, but you are trying and don't beat yourself up. I am exculsively pumping now and it is becoming a lot... I did nurse for a while in the beginning, but he was losing weight so we started supplementing wiht formula. I would say, try and pump if you can so he gets the milk and take it from there.

Hang in there!!! Hugs to you.