Woman gives back adopted child

Woman gives back adopted child

Here is her blog

I really think this is a sad situation for all involved. There is just so much wrong with the whole situation all around.

for that little boy

Re: Woman gives back adopted child

I do not get this at all.

It sounds to me like this woman is really unstable

I am so furious by this!

Re: Woman gives back adopted child

I think she did the right thing.

I feel for that poor little boy and hope his new family is the perfect fit for him.

Re: Woman gives back adopted child

Honestly, the kid is probably better off. I just think it's weird that this woman is publicizing this obviously traumatic experience and opening herself and her family to the world's judgement. No one can possibly know what went on in that family other than the family members, so it seems rather pointless trying to justify herself to the world. And where is her husband in all of this? I assume that this decision was made by both of them?

Message edited 10/5/2009 9:02:53 AM.

Re: Woman gives back adopted child

I don't know what to think.

When you adopt a child, I hope you think of that child as your own. I would never give away my own child so I don't see how I could give away a child I adopted.

Unless the child was harming other kids-I've seen some sad stories where this has happened and the family is not equipped to handle it.

However, this kid is 18 months old.

Then again-I've never adopted a child so there is a lot I don't know but I can't help thinking this woman liked the idea of adopting but wasn't really committed to the reality of it.

The poor baby. that he finally gets some stability in is fragile little life and that this doesn't cause him more challenges.

Re: Woman gives back adopted child

Posted by CrankyPants

I don't know what to think.

When you adopt a child, I hope you think of that child as your own. I would never give away my own child so I don't see how I could give away a child I adopted.

Unless the child was harming other kids-I've seen some sad stories where this has happened and the family is not equipped to handle it.

However, this kid is 18 months old.

Then again-I've never adopted a child so there is a lot I don't know but I can't help thinking this woman liked the idea of adopting but wasn't really committed to the reality of it.

The poor baby. that he finally gets some stability in is fragile little life and that this doesn't cause him more challenges.

Re: Woman gives back adopted child

i don't know her personally but from what i am reading it sounds like this was a tough decision for her. by giving him back up for adption she was trying to give him the best chance at a normal life with a loving family. in no way would i ever have wanted her to "suck it up" and keep trying. she knew something wasn't right. and i think that it would have been irresponsible for her to keep that child. i hope he does well with his new family

Re: Woman gives back adopted child

I feel for this woman and her family. It isn't like she tried this out for a week or a month. She seems to have tried desperately to make this work. I think she did the right thing in the end. No matter how upsetting it may be in the moment she has given this child a great life... again.

Re: Woman gives back adopted child

Posted by headoverheels

i don't know her personally but from what i am reading it sounds like this was a tough decision for her. by giving him back up for adption she was trying to give him the best chance at a normal life with a loving family. in no way would i ever have wanted her to "suck it up" and keep trying. she knew something wasn't right. and i think that it would have been irresponsible for her to keep that child. i hope he does well with his new family

Re: Woman gives back adopted child

thats AWFUL! That poor little boy.

Re: Woman gives back adopted child

She did the right thing, and the baby is young enough to forget as well. Her husband is always overseas never around she has either 3,4 or 5 of her own children news has been unclear of that, she is alone and if she is not bonding in all this time then she did the right thing to give this child a loving environment. It would have been wrong for her to keep the child and who knows how he would have turned out- another crazy in this world?
def the right thing to do. we are humans we are not perfect and with such a tough decision she made the end result is what is best for the child.

Re: Woman gives back adopted child

I HATE the comparison she makes about her feelings for D and her biological children. Of course she feels differently and she's an idiot not to think that she would feel someone differently but that doesn't mean that she couldn't have parented and loved him like her biological children. I also hate that she blames D for her fighting with her husband.

In the end, it was probably best for the child but I think the woman needs some serious help. She blogged about how SHE felt and that D was unresponsive to HER. What about him? What about how this affects him and further reaffirms that no one wants him? What did she really expect?

Re: Woman gives back adopted child

Re: Woman gives back adopted child

I do not judge this woman at all.

This is a sad, sad story and I feel for that poor baby- his terrible past, his uncertain future..

Obviously this woman was not prepared to handle this, and I honestly don't know who would be.

This poor child needs a family who has experience and training to deal with his needs.

Re: Woman gives back adopted child

Re: Woman gives back adopted child

I really do feel sorry for all parties involved

I hope that little boy grows up in a wonderful home full of love and I pray he grows to be a happy and healthy adult

Re: Woman gives back adopted child

Such a sad story.. I hope the little boy get the love he deserves with his new family

Re: Woman gives back adopted child

I feel bad for all parties involved. Apparently she wasnt aware of all the problems this baby would have and the commitment was too great for her... I feel bad for that little boy he needs lover and lots of help and attention. What do they do with him now?

Re: Woman gives back adopted child

Poor Baby D. I feel for the whole family.

Re: Woman gives back adopted child

This part:

He didn’t cry, he stared back at me, then looked to Samantha and asked for more juice. I was too overwhelmed to utter another word, but Samantha squeezed my hand and reassured me that D. would know I had loved him and that I had done a good job

How, on Earth, could you think you'd done a good job???? This woman makes me sick.

The only positive thing I can say is she realized she couldn't love him. I mean what did she think she was taking on? A baby who was left in a crib by himself for hours, who didn't crawl or walk enough to develop his legs and left by the side of the road. Of course he would have trouble attaching. I pray that she does not adopt any more children

Re: Woman gives back adopted child

The whole situation is strange. Even the way her own daughters reacted to the baby. Very very odd. I also hope it doesn't discourage people from adoption because this one woman had issues with bonding. Me thinks it was her problem, not his.

Re: Woman gives back adopted child

I commend this woman for having the strength to acknowldge her weakness. Despite the boys past life, and current situation I am sure someone is out there that can truly take care and love this child.

What I question is what her void in her life was that she needed "just one more" child. Could it be her dh being deployed? Somethings not right. Even if she truly wanted to help someone else out....I still believe it was for her own psychosis. I believe it made her feel better somehow/some way. I guess one will never know. I am sure that D and her both have a long road ahead of them. This was probably a very hard decision.

Re: Woman gives back adopted child

sad story.... glad he found a family to truly meet his needs

Re: Woman gives back adopted child

Message edited 10/5/2009 3:56:43 PM.

Re: Woman gives back adopted child