Moms with 2+ kids - share your wisdom please

If you had one piece of advice to give to an almost Mommy of two - what would it be?

Re: Moms with 2+ kids - share your wisdom please

I am a mommy of two for less than two weeks but so far have learned
1. have someone in the family focus on DC#1 when you are in the hospital and when you come home.
2. Have a present to/from DC1 and DC2.
3. Talk to DC1 about becoming a big brother or sister and the things they can do to help.
4. Tell DC1 you love them as much as possible after DC2 is born.
5. Try to read to DC1 while feeding DC2.
6. Get as much help as you can.
7. If you don't take care of yourself no one else will. So make sure to take care of yourself because you need to be able to take care of the kids.

Re: Moms with 2+ kids - share your wisdom please

Take one day at a time.

Re: Moms with 2+ kids - share your wisdom please

To add to PP I would have lots of little gifts so when you open gifts from people for the new baby your DS can open his own gift.

If you have DS in day care still send him. It will keep the routine up.

If someone says they want to take DS let them so you can bond with the baby without guilt.

Don't expect DS to visit you for too long at the hospital, they get bored quickly.

Message edited 10/11/2009 1:19:53 AM.

Re: Moms with 2+ kids - share your wisdom please

Great thread. I'll be mom of two come Feb, and I also read somewhere that if you have 2 screaming they are hungry/thirsty at once to tend to the toddler/preschooler first. The infant is too young to be able to be jealous and resentful!

Re: Moms with 2+ kids - share your wisdom please

Re: Moms with 2+ kids - share your wisdom please

Remember bedtime always comes and to never leave them alone together even for a second.

Re: Moms with 2+ kids - share your wisdom please

In the very beginning my DD was 20 months and very independent. She would sometimes play by herself on the main floor while I was upstairs rocking DS for 30 minutes sometimes. I would always make extra time for her when DH got home from work and my dad who is retired came by every day for a bit to play with DD or hold my newborn.

Just take it one day at a time and don't be afraid to ask for help. It's hectic in the beginning but gets so much easier. I feel like just now at almost 3 and 15 months that my DD is jealous because he is getting into her things that is it more difficult.

I would have play dough, etc. crafts that DS can do while you are tending to the baby.

Overall it's awesome and you will all be just fine! Oh and the snugli carrier was my best friend the first few months!

Re: Moms with 2+ kids - share your wisdom please

Expect the unexpected then you'll never be caught off guard. It's kind of the old adage that when it rains it pours. I just try not to get overwhelmed when things all seem to happen at one time.

Re: Moms with 2+ kids - share your wisdom please

Make the older DC feel important. I have DS (older one) in charge of bringing and holding diapers for me when changing DD. He feels it's his brotherly duty to assist me with all diaper changes!

I've also managed (not sure how) to get them to nap together in the afternoon. It's such a relief when they both go down for a couple hours after lunch so that I can have some "me" time.

And do not be afraid to ask for help! DH and I left DD with a babysitter last night to attend a wedding and it felt soooo good to dress up and get out of the house. It's been a while since I had a conversation with an adult in a social setting! I left enough pumped bottles of BM that I could enjoy myself and not worry about BFing her.

Re: Moms with 2+ kids - share your wisdom please

I have 3 (ages 2, 5, and 6) and my BEST advice is to

LISTEN TO YOUR OWN INTUITION BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE!!!!!

It will never let you down, or criticize you, or get offended when you choose to do something else.

Also, cherish each and every moment. Because trust me when I tell you... there will be moments when you want to tear your hair out. Moments in the middle of the night when you are sitting on the floor weeping HATING your life at that moment.

Then

SNAP

Its gone, and you look back on it fondly.

Re: Moms with 2+ kids - share your wisdom please

this was also a topic on Motherlode the other day...

Re: Moms with 2+ kids - share your wisdom please

Take it one moment at a time....some will be easy, some with be hard, but ALL will be worth it.

Before you know it, your boys will be the best of friends. The most amazing thing I have EVER seen is how much my boys love each other. It melts my heart each and every time. It makes every sleepless night, every time you are on the brink of losing it, every OMG, 100% worth it.




ETA: It also makes me have to edit 3 times---love those sleepless nights!! HAHA

Message edited 10/11/2009 7:39:42 PM.

Re: Moms with 2+ kids - share your wisdom please

Thanks everyone!!! Your words are very encouraging!

Re: Moms with 2+ kids - share your wisdom please

Re: Moms with 2+ kids - share your wisdom please

STICK TO YOUR ROUTINE! The biggest mistkae I made was letting them get off schedule last time. I ended up with one staying up until 2 a.m. every night..not fun.

Take one day at a time. It is hard to adjust to two, but within a couple of weeks it feels completely natural

Re: Moms with 2+ kids - share your wisdom please

Do something special regularly with just you and DC#1. Even a mommy and me or take a walk together... anything where you are just the 2 of you. Your DH should do the same and then you can take turns bonding w/ each alone.

Definitely try to keep the routine w/ #1 as regular as possible although this can be hard. I know we had to stop daycare a few weeks before I had the new baby and I think it would have been better to have continued, but I lost my job so we had no choice.

Message edited 10/11/2009 8:20:32 PM.

Re: Moms with 2+ kids - share your wisdom please

Re: Moms with 2+ kids - share your wisdom please

Posted by Diana1215

If you had one piece of advice to give to an almost Mommy of two - what would it be?

Re: Moms with 2+ kids - share your wisdom please

Posted by babyonthebrain

Posted by Diana1215

If you had one piece of advice to give to an almost Mommy of two - what would it be?

how old is your baby? When is #2 coming?

Re: Moms with 2+ kids - share your wisdom please

Wine! make sure you have some for those nights you need to unwind!!!!!

Re: Moms with 2+ kids - share your wisdom please

1. If DC #1 and DC #2 both need attention at the same time, tend to DC#1 first as he will remember if you don't...the newborn will not remember that you let him cry for 5-10 minutes while you tended to his older brother

2. Let DC#! help as much as you can with the baby, this helped miki accept KJ alot more, she LOVES to help me with him

3. BREATHE...I have to tell you, this has been a tough transition for us.....

Re: Moms with 2+ kids - share your wisdom please

Re: Moms with 2+ kids - share your wisdom please

~don't try to do it all all the time, lean on your family as much as u can.

~prepare! i make my 2 1/2 year olds dinner the night before, put out his clothes for the next moring, etc.. that way i don't have to run around as much.

Re: Moms with 2+ kids - share your wisdom please

~One day at a time.

~Stick with your routine for DS #1.

~If DS #1 is in school, continue sending him. Don't change anything on his part.

~When DC #2 is asleep, focus on DS #1. and Vice Versa.

~ Don't worry about laundry, dishes, and housework. Enjoy the time with the kids. (I wait until either they're both napping or until after dinner when DH is home to do some housework..a little at a time).

~Treasure every moment.