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Does anyone else get annoyed?

Posted By Message

seasaw
LIF Adolescent

Member since 9/09

648 total posts

Name:

Does anyone else get annoyed?

Not that I'm trying to be annoyed but I keep hearing about people getting pregnant by accident and no complications, no miscarriage, just a healthy baby at the end of it. PLEASE don't read this the wrong way, I'm happy for everyone but I can't help feeling the tiniest bit jealous.

Over the weekend my MIL was telling me how all three times she tried she got pregnant on the first try and how the one month FBIL/FSIL tried, they got their beautiful baby girl. Five of my sorority sisters have given birth in the last six months to beautiful, healthy babies and most of those were "accidents." Another sister just posted on FB that she's 7 weeks along and just confirmed it adding her to the list with 4 others that are pregnant. And that's not including other friends who are as well.

I know that I dhouldn't compare and that life isn't a race. Heck, we aren't even trying this month but what's the deal with everyone getting knocked up by accident and having these healthy pregnancies? Makes me feel like there's something so wrong with me...

Anyone else?

Posted 12/7/09 2:31 PM
 

Porrruss
Nya nya nya

Member since 5/05

11618 total posts

Name:
Amy

Re: Does anyone else get annoyed?

I never got annoyed, but I did feel sorry for myself. There's nothing wrong with that- you can't help how you feel.

Posted 12/7/09 3:01 PM
 

zoe282
We have our miracle!

Member since 8/08

3634 total posts

Name:
Jen

Re: Does anyone else get annoyed?

I try not to think about it to be honest. If I did then I would get frustrated. It's like anything else in life that's tough...try to think that there is some stuff in your life that you got easy and others didn't? That's what I try...

You are totally right though..it is just sooo easy for some. I feel lucky that in my group of friends I was the first to start trying so no one else is really "there", I can imagine I would sing a different tune if I was surrounded by it.

Posted 12/7/09 3:14 PM
 

secretlyttc
LIF Infant

Member since 2/09

113 total posts

Name:

Re: Does anyone else get annoyed?

I hear you. I have gotten pretty upset about things like this, and then I feel awful for feeling this way about friends and family. When SIL and BIL revealed that they were PG, it was last March, the day after DH and I got a BFN. I cry very easily, and couldn't control myself. I went to the bathroom, tried to collect myself, then came out and joined everyone. I was calm and eating, when I heard BIL say, "we weren't trying at all. We were going to wait a year." I started losing it again and had to run back to the bathroom. I felt absolutely terrible, b/c of course, I was happy for them, but feeling so badly for me and DH. Now, my niece is 3 months old and I love her to bits, of course!

Right after that, two other friends revealed their pregnancies, and I had a tough time with it. I know life isn't a race, but it's tough when things don't go as we plan.

Posted 12/7/09 3:23 PM
 

Babyaholic
Thankful

Member since 6/09

1459 total posts

Name:
D

Re: Does anyone else get annoyed?

I can't fault someone for having a healthy pregnancy. But what I do get annoyed with are people flaunting it when they know what I have been through. Accidental pregnancies make me sad, because I would kill for an "accident" and not having to try so hard.

Posted 12/7/09 3:25 PM
 

octoberbride
Big sister to be!

Member since 11/05

2174 total posts

Name:

Re: Does anyone else get annoyed?

I think it's totally understandable to have those feelings.

I know I am so lucky to have a DD, but I still felt some pangs when hearing of a friend's pg shortly after I had my m/c 2 months ago.

Posted 12/7/09 3:36 PM
 

mommy2B3
2 boys 2 girls!!!!

Member since 7/08

3324 total posts

Name:
M

Re: Does anyone else get annoyed?

It's so normal to think "why not me?". The thing is, I don't think your annoyed that they have it easy, but that you don't, know what I mean? Like why is it easy for some and not everyone?

I do have to say that when we conceived my son, I was on the pill and we weren't trying, but god had other plans for us, and I wouldn't change that for the world. When we were trying for #2 I had a miscarriage, and now I am 11 weeks along this pregnancy, and ever slight cramp, every weird feeling I panic.

After I miscarried I kept thinking to myself why couldn't we just had to wait alot longer, then to go through a loss. I have to believe everything happens for a reason, and that everything always comes full circle. I can't imagine what your feeling, and I'm so sorry that it seems like everyone is getting pregnant around you, almost adding salt to the wound, but I promise your time will come and you will be sooo over the moon that this journey that your taking now will be sooo worth the wait Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 12/7/09 6:25 PM
 

seasaw
LIF Adolescent

Member since 9/09

648 total posts

Name:

Re: Does anyone else get annoyed?

Posted by mrspalomino148

It's so normal to think "why not me?". The thing is, I don't think your annoyed that they have it easy, but that you don't, know what I mean? Like why is it easy for some and not everyone?

I do have to say that when we conceived my son, I was on the pill and we weren't trying, but god had other plans for us, and I wouldn't change that for the world. When we were trying for #2 I had a miscarriage, and now I am 11 weeks along this pregnancy, and ever slight cramp, every weird feeling I panic.

After I miscarried I kept thinking to myself why couldn't we just had to wait alot longer, then to go through a loss. I have to believe everything happens for a reason, and that everything always comes full circle. I can't imagine what your feeling, and I'm so sorry that it seems like everyone is getting pregnant around you, almost adding salt to the wound, but I promise your time will come and you will be sooo over the moon that this journey that your taking now will be sooo worth the wait Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon



I think you hit the nail on the head. I'm more annoyed by my situation and I'm happy for all of them.

Posted 12/8/09 1:06 PM
 

Ever-After
Goals w/o plans r just wishes

Member since 6/09

2585 total posts

Name:
C

Re: Does anyone else get annoyed?

I don't think there's anything wrong with feeling that way! Of course I get annoyed too. Why does it have to be so EASY for some people and not for others. it doesn't seem fair or right.

The other day an old friend found me on Facebook. She's a few years younger than me (she's about 21), single girl and just gave birth to her 3rd child. Of course I'm happy for her that she's got such beautiful healthy kids... but there's just this big part of me that's like "seriously?" KWIM? I'm not trying to sound judgmental or anything, but there's this huge part of me that is just annoyed by stuff like that. Why should it be that single girls who do not even want to be pregnant seem to get pregnant so easy, meanwhile married women who would give anything for a child have to deal with infertility or miscarriages? Just doesn't seem right. Not that I would ever 'hate' a person with kids or feel 'jealousy' either. It just bugs me.

Message edited 12/8/2009 2:55:23 PM.

Posted 12/8/09 2:48 PM
 

kristin597
Mama!

Member since 8/08

1688 total posts

Name:
Kristin

Re: Does anyone else get annoyed?

I've definetly felt jealous. I'm not proud of it but what can I do? It's how I feel. I am always happy for someone when they find out they are pregnant, esp the girls on here bc I feel like everyone wants it so bad. But I definetly have had my moments of "why not me" Chat Icon

Posted 12/8/09 3:28 PM
 

seasaw
LIF Adolescent

Member since 9/09

648 total posts

Name:

Re: Does anyone else get annoyed?

Thanks ladies for letting me know I'm not a monster for being slightly green with envy. I signed onto facebook a few minutes ago and was reminded of my post when I read that someone I know is having her 2nd. This has been so often lately BUT I'll look at it as a sign that their baby dust will rub off on me Chat Icon

Posted 12/8/09 5:49 PM
 

jennarose023
Jack's gonna be a big brother!

Member since 11/08

7769 total posts

Name:
Jenna

Re: Does anyone else get annoyed?

Posted by Porrruss

I never got annoyed, but I did feel sorry for myself. There's nothing wrong with that- you can't help how you feel.



ITA!

Posted 12/9/09 6:52 AM
 

Lisa982006
Mommy of 2! Ty God

Member since 9/06

3107 total posts

Name:
Lisa

Re: Does anyone else get annoyed?

Posted by kristin597

I've definetly felt jealous. I'm not proud of it but what can I do? It's how I feel. I am always happy for someone when they find out they are pregnant, esp the girls on here bc I feel like everyone wants it so bad. But I definetly have had my moments of "why not me" Chat Icon



I agree. Even now, I am jealous of those who can just relax and be happy and not anxious and worrisome all the time like I am. Maybe jealous isnt the word, more like envious.

Your feelings are totally justified Chat Icon

Posted 12/9/09 8:29 AM
 

jerseychick
LIF Adult

Member since 4/09

3923 total posts

Name:

Re: Does anyone else get annoyed?

Posted by kristin597

I've definetly felt jealous. I'm not proud of it but what can I do? It's how I feel. I am always happy for someone when they find out they are pregnant, esp the girls on here bc I feel like everyone wants it so bad. But I definetly have had my moments of "why not me" Chat Icon



I agree with this as well. Of course I was happy for other people when they found out they were pregnant, but that didn't stop me from feeling a little jealous/sorry for myself.

Posted 12/9/09 5:31 PM
 

bride07
Ava Rose you are an angel!!!

Member since 3/09

6115 total posts

Name:

Re: Does anyone else get annoyed?



I think that is completely normal. I have had many meltdowns through out this TTC process. Quite often it was all about "why me" that this had happened or "why not me" when everyone around me was preggos. I think it is quite normal to feel some jealousy. Of course we are happy for everyone but at the same time it def stings to see everyone have something you want so bad!!

I just have realized we have no control over this process & that God has a plan.

A good friend told me when I was at my bottom... That everyone is thrown challenges in life and that this may be mine. I have some friends who are single & just depressed they can't find someone, loss of parent or parents, divorce, laid off, illness....that we all have challenges in our life. This is what my friend reminded me..and it helped to put things in perspective.

I hope that helps!!!

Hugs to you!!
Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 12/9/09 7:11 PM
 

zoe282
We have our miracle!

Member since 8/08

3634 total posts

Name:
Jen

Re: Does anyone else get annoyed?

Posted by bride07



I think that is completely normal. I have had many meltdowns through out this TTC process. Quite often it was all about "why me" that this had happened or "why not me" when everyone around me was preggos. I think it is quite normal to feel some jealousy. Of course we are happy for everyone but at the same time it def stings to see everyone have something you want so bad!!

I just have realized we have no control over this process & that God has a plan.

A good friend told me when I was at my bottom... That everyone is thrown challenges in life and that this may be mine. I have some friends who are single & just depressed they can't find someone, loss of parent or parents, divorce, laid off, illness....that we all have challenges in our life. This is what my friend reminded me..and it helped to put things in perspective.

I hope that helps!!!

Hugs to you!!
Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon




I totally agree with what you said. I feel like when we are sad and down about a major aspect of our lives, we lose perspecitve about the good that we have...like a supportive husband, great family, job security, financial security...I think its in times like these that we need to focus on that stuff...

Posted 12/9/09 7:37 PM
 
 

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