Discipline question (crasher)

I have recently started dating someone with a child (5) and I have a 2 year old.

We are both divorced and its my first relationship.

I would appreciate some general advice:

When did you bring dates home? How old were your kids?

There was a incident yesterday where I asked his son to sit down at the table and BF didn't chime in. He said that he wanted to see if his son would listen.

After it happened, we discussed it. We decided that for now it would be best if we saw each others kids that they should treat us as an adult telling them what to do as far as how they would respect any adult in their house not as a step-parent with full parenting rights.
Is this how it worked for you at first?

~TIA

Message edited 1/15/2010 4:21:24 PM.

Re: Discipline question (crasher)

My DH and I dated about 6 months before we met eachothers kids. At first we each disciplined our own kids and as the kids became more comfortable with us we would then discipline eachothers kids. But we always agreed that the kids should respect and listen to any adult not just us and its worked out really well.

Re: Discipline question (crasher)

My girls met my DH, by accident, within a few months of dating. I didnt meet my DHs kids until we were already engaged and had been together about a year and a half....(this is not recommended. My children already had a relationship with DH were his kids did not have one with me. It has caused huge problems in our family.) I would have met them sooner but BM was causing problems....

Asking his child to sit while sitting at the table was appropriate. I know that if I was out with a friend and both my son and her DC werent sitting I would tell him to sit too...KWIM?

So when it comes to the little things it's OK but I'd definitely leave the true discipline to dad...

Re: Discipline question (crasher)

I agree with Heather. Basic manners is one thing, but the bigger stuff should be left up to the biological parent for now.

Kevin's DD was 7 was we first started dating and he would bring her to our team's softball games. So DD and I got to know each other in a more public setting with other people around, and at first I was just "Daddy's friend Cindy", then after a while she kind of figured out what was really going on. At that point he had total control and I really took a backseat to the parenting thing; I wanted to be careful not to overstep the boundaries of our family. After about 6 months we moved into our apartment and at that point I took on more of a parenting role. DD was always a pretty good kid so disciplining isn't something I really have to do, but Kevin made it clear that she's to listen to me and respect me as a parent.