Embarassed... and need help- depression related....Please do not judge

I used to post regularly on the boards...

However, I have become extremely depressed recently and am fearful. The thoughts I've been having are making me even more unhappy and I'm not sure what to do...

I WANTED a baby so badly, so my feeling are making me so sad....

I am positive that talking to a therapist would be the right thing, however, I am so embarassed that all of a sudden, I have thoughts that I've made some terrible mistake, and the thought is giving me a fright beyond fright...

Has anyone else gone through this? Am I horrible for being like this?

Thanks Loves... sorry :(

Re: Embarassed... and need help- depression related....Please do not judge

there is nothing to be embarrassed about...i think that talking to someone is an wonderful idea...i'm sure it's just nerves, hormones, etc and getting these feelings out in a judgment free place is going to really help.

Re: Embarassed... and need help- depression related....Please do not judge

Please, do not feel bad and please, speak to a therapist!

Having a baby is a life changing, stressful event. It is scary and one of the top stressors one can experience in life. In fact, it is sad that childbirth itself is the closest a woman comes to death. (How true that is I don't know, but you get my gist).

I speak to my therapist weekly and I think it makes a big difference. Some weeks, I am so thrilled, others not so much. I think hormones have a lot to do with it.

Additionally, there are meds that are safe during pregnancy and if you needed them, they can prescribe them.

Please do not feel guilty or embarrassed!

Re: Embarassed... and need help- depression related....Please do not judge

I don't think there is a mother-to-be that doesn't go through some fear. It's the unknown and as humans the unkown can be the scariest thing.

Definitely don't feel embarrassed to post here...i'm sure someone else feels the same as you. Also, a theripist might be a great idea. Sometimes we need that person that we can just un=load to and have them look at all things objectively for us and help us with our feelings.

Re: Embarassed... and need help- depression related....Please do not judge

Re: Embarassed... and need help- depression related....Please do not judge

Please don't feel guilty. Your feelings are your feelings and you can't help them.
Add to that these horrible hormones and it's a wonder any of us survive.

When I first found out I was pregnant I cried for days. I really felt we had made a HUGE mistake.
I'm almost 20 weeks now and just getting used to the idea.
But that does not mean that I don't have moments EVERY SINGLE DAY where I question our decision to have a baby, where I am fearful of what the future holds, where I just want to run away as fast as I can back to my old, perfect life.
I still sometimes cry in the car when I'm alone- just due to being so overwhelmed and scared.
This does not mean we are not good moms to be or we dont' want our babies.
It just means we are human.
Since you say you really feel therapy would help- go for it.
I acutally did some research in the beginning when I was a basket case- in regards to PRE-Partum depression- and it's a real thing.

Best of luck...

Re: Embarassed... and need help- depression related....Please do not judge

Posted by daisy32

Posted by bluekat16

I don't think there is a mother-to-be that doesn't go through some fear. It's the unknown and as humans the unkown can be the scariest thing.

wonderfully put and I agree 100%

Re: Embarassed... and need help- depression related....Please do not judge

We all go through fear and doubts; it is nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed of. This is my 2nd baby, so I knew what I was in for and am still having many of the same feelings. However if it is interfering with your life, you should definitely look into finding a therapist to talk things through with. I know for me just getting it out by talking about it is a huge release of the anxiety.

Re: Embarassed... and need help- depression related....Please do not judge

Glad to read this...been feeling similar myself just think its too much to handle with everything in life going on...

I have the constant "Did i make a mistake" too- just glad to know others go through the same thing...

Keep your head up

Re: Embarassed... and need help- depression related....Please do not judge

Please don't be embarrassed, right now you need a place where you can get out your fears .

Fears in pregnancy is normal, its a huge change in your life, and mixed with the hormones, its completely normal to have these feelings.

I do want to say that you should talk to someone, especially if these thoughts go deeper than fears. People always talk about postpartum depression, but it is possible to experience these feelings during pregnancy. My DHs cousin did have pre-partum depression and she was able to be prescribed something that was safe during pregnancy and she felt sooo much better!

Re: Embarassed... and need help- depression related....Please do not judge

Posted by NervousNell

Please don't feel guilty. Your feelings are your feelings and you can't help them.
Add to that these horrible hormones and it's a wonder any of us survive.

When I first found out I was pregnant I cried for days. I really felt we had made a HUGE mistake.
I'm almost 20 weeks now and just getting used to the idea.
But that does not mean that I don't have moments EVERY SINGLE DAY where I question our decision to have a baby, where I am fearful of what the future holds, where I just want to run away as fast as I can back to my old, perfect life.
I still sometimes cry in the car when I'm alone- just due to being so overwhelmed and scared.
This does not mean we are not good moms to be or we dont' want our babies.
It just means we are human.
Since you say you really feel therapy would help- go for it.
I acutally did some research in the beginning when I was a basket case- in regards to PRE-Partum depression- and it's a real thing.

Best of luck...

Re: Embarassed... and need help- depression related....Please do not judge

Fm'ing you.

Re: Embarassed... and need help- depression related....Please do not judge

talk to your doctor there is nothing to be embarassed about. I have had bouts of depression with this pregnancy and it's so tough! some of the things that pop into my head are upsetting. once I hit 20 weeks , the feelings dissappeared so I def. think it's hormonal

Re: Embarassed... and need help- depression related....Please do not judge

I want you to know something- what you are feeling is VERY normal.

I don't know if it's the hormone changes, the fact that I've suffered from anxiety in the past or what, but every single one of my BFPs left me feeling EXTREMELY overwhelmed and with feelings of "OMG- we've made a huge mistake". Even this pregnancy which occurred after 2 early losses! I STILL sometimes feel like, "Are we doing the right thing?" which sucks because this (as were all) of my pregnancies were VERY much planned.

I PROMISE you- these feelings will pass.

Re: Embarassed... and need help- depression related....Please do not judge

I don't think anyone on these boards would ever judge you. At some point during our pregnancies I am sure we have all felt like you do, I know I have.

First of all, we are all going through some extreme hormonal changes. On top of that, you have to get used to the idea that the life you are used to will be no more. I sometimes get scared and think, this is something that will change my life forever...there's no taking it back.

Since you are open to the idea of seeing a therapist, I would definitely suggest going. Sometimes you just need to verbalize your fears to a neutral party. As sympathetic as friends and family can be, they are not always objective. Good luck and just know that you're not alone!!

Re: Embarassed... and need help- depression related....Please do not judge

I think what you are feeling is VERY normal. I wonder every day if I made the right decision. I think talking to someone is the best thing and there are medications out there that are safe to take in pregnancy.

Re: Embarassed... and need help- depression related....Please do not judge

First of all, fear is a very, very normal and dare I say even healthy reaction to a pregnancy. This is a major life changing event that will have a series of consequences that last FOREVER. If that's not something to be afraid of I don't know what is!

Your fear indicates that you're aware that this isn't going to be a walk in the park or some perfect little fairytale... and that's a wonderful thing! Because to go from that frame of mind (fairytale) to the realities of a newborn (usually around 3am, 3 weeks post-pardum) just wouldn't be pretty.

I'm pregnant with my second -- who I've been dreaming of since I was pregnant with my first -- and I have moments where I'm like what am I doing? Is this a big mistake? Can I handle this? I mean the list that goes through my mind is endless, and I went through this with the first one as well.

If you feel that speaking with someone will help then you absolutely should! You should not be judged for this, certainly not by a professional - and no one here would get away with it. I think even reaching out here was one of your first acts as a good mother. If you know you need help, ask for it.

Re: Embarassed... and need help- depression related....Please do not judge

I think speaking to someone about how your feeling is a great idea. Do not be embarrassed at all for how you are feeling. The important thing is that your doing something about it.

Re: Embarassed... and need help- depression related....Please do not judge

I totally know where your coming from. I went to my OB at some point during this pregnancy because I couldn't shake the sadness. She said it is more common that woman have depression during pregnancy than most know about. Most woman are ashamed that they feel sad instead of incredible joy. You need to go to your Obgyn and she can recommend someone who specializes in Prenatal Depression. You are not alone in what you are feeling. Also we are all here for you if you ever need to talk.