note from the pre k teacher

So i got a note home from DD pre k teacher and it reads


dear mr and mrs so and so


DD is having some difficulty socializing; she has had a hard time using her words. She seems to have trouble sharing. She also has become very attached to one of the other kids in the class. We are trying to express to her that we have to keep our hands to ourselves, that we are all friends, and that we cannot always play with one particular person. We just wanted to make you aware of what is going on.
thank you miss so and so

Im a little confused and bothered by this, I have never recieved a letter like this about any of my other girls (i have 2 big girls 12 and 13) And i really dont know to make of this.. am i not socializing her enough is this the start of some kind of issue? what the heck... I really could use a sounding board.. so ladies if you've BTDT or are a teacher.. HELP?? I am really confused.. Plus its friggin friday and now i have to wait until monday to ask any questions!!


thanks for ready if you got this far!!

Re: note from the pre k teacher

My first questions are:
-Is this the first time they are mentioning all these things?
-Why were they not discussed in person?
-Its now March, did she start there in Sept? Have these issues been going on all year?
-Pre-school is supposed to be where they learn all of these socialization skills.....have they been working on them? Did they all of a sudden just become an issue?

I don't get that note and would not be happy with the teacher that sent something like that home. As an ex-pre-school teacher I do not feel she should be addressing all of that in a note sent home nevermind on a Friday afternoon. If neither you or DH drop off or pick up she should have made a phone call.

Re: note from the pre k teacher

ummm, aren't kids supposed to learn and teachers teach socializing and sharing in preschool? Or maybe I'm wrong

Message edited 3/12/2010 5:14:25 PM.

Re: note from the pre k teacher

Re: note from the pre k teacher

i thought she was on level and i didnt see any issues. Now i worry that ive had parental blinders on!

Re: note from the pre k teacher

The only thing I can think of is that the parents of the other child maybe said something, so that is why the teacher reached out to you?

Message edited 3/12/2010 5:19:56 PM.

Re: note from the pre k teacher

Re: note from the pre k teacher

There definitely should have been some type of a dialogue leading up to a note like that. I would request a conference with the teacher and the director of the preschool.

Re: note from the pre k teacher

The way it says that she teaches to keep hands to themselves and saying that your DC has trouble sharing and using her words makes me believe that maybe your DC has hit or is arguing with another child and the teacher is trying to let you know in a "nice" way...i dont know it sounds strange the way its written, like theres some other thing going on

Message edited 3/12/2010 5:55:34 PM.

Re: note from the pre k teacher

i am honestly surprised reading some of these responses. they make me sad

i don't teach pre-k, but elementary school. i have written many a note like the one above. i always try to express myself the best i can, but sometimes i have to write a note in 3 minutes and don't always say everything i want to say. i try to make phone calls, but don't always have time so a quick note has to do, and a followup phone call can happen the next day.

i read that note as the teacher trying to make you aware of what they are working on so that you can follow up at home. you should always be made aware of what is happening in school. is it possible that they have been working on these things at school and it hasn't been "that bad"? or maybe it's a fairly recent occurrence and the teacher wanted to know what she was dealing with before contacting you?

i try not to look at things in a defensive manner. please call the teacher on monday. you don't need to meet with the director unless the teacher is not treating your child properly or is not responding to you. it seems like the teacher wants your help, and is trying to work with your child.

i just don't understand how this note is so horrible. she's expressing the problem and what they are doing to address it. yes, it's always a shock when our kids aren't doing what we think they are, but teachers and parents should always work together for the good of the child.

Re: note from the pre k teacher

I don't teach pre-K but have taught K and am now teaching 1st. I would NEVER write a note like that. I would call the parent to express my concerns. That's just me though. I would respond with:
Dear Ms. so and so,
Thank you for your note. I appreciated being kept apprised of my child's behavior. However, I am now a bit concerned. Can we please schedule a time to discuss this in person. Thank you for your help.
Sincerely,
Mr. and Mrs. xyz

I wouldn't worry too much. The behavior sounds very typical of a preschooler. Sometimes I think expectations are WAY too high. It's preschool and that's were social skills/ socialization should really be facilitated (IMO)

Message edited 3/12/2010 5:58:07 PM.

Re: note from the pre k teacher

Re: note from the pre k teacher

Oh i know its not horrible. and in no way do i have an issue with the teachers they have been wonderful. I am a little over cautious because my DH had many undiagnosed learning disabilities and from all the things his family has said about him as a child i wonder if he had a mild case of autism.
Just on a friday i would have hoped for a call.
My concern was that i had no idea that something was going on. DD doesnt hit at home and her little sister is a bully! so i would be suprised if she was doing that. but hey im not there all day so i dont know. I know that she is a personal space invader and i have been working on that with her she likes to hug and hold hands without asking. I have been working on that at home with her. I worry alot about her. i dont want her to struggle like my DH did. thats all.

Re: note from the pre k teacher

My DD had similar issues - but she goes to a daycare/preschool and she used to socialize fine but once she started pre-k in a new building (but same kids) she had a lot of trouble. She wasn't socializing and was attached to one child. The director spoke to me about it directly and then I spoke to the teachers about it. My situation is probably different (was sociable, then stopped. Also started stuttering) and she actually receives services through CPSC for anxiety. BUT I was told face to face by the director.

Re: note from the pre k teacher

Posted by browneyedgirl

i am honestly surprised reading some of these responses. they make me sad


i just don't understand how this note is so horrible. she's expressing the problem and what they are doing to address it. yes, it's always a shock when our kids aren't doing what we think they are, but teachers and parents should always work together for the good of the child.

Re: note from the pre k teacher

First, I think the issues she wrote in the letter should definitely be discussed in person, not written in a note. Second, as a teacher on leave of absence, I would never start a note or conversation off with something negative. Each time I had a conversation or a wrote a note I always began with something positive about the student. Lastly, it is weird that this is the first time she is bringing something up like this and it is March. I would schedule a meeting with her.

Message edited 3/12/2010 6:40:46 PM.

Re: note from the pre k teacher

Posted by MaMaTeenie

Posted by browneyedgirl

i am honestly surprised reading some of these responses. they make me sad


i just don't understand how this note is so horrible. she's expressing the problem and what they are doing to address it. yes, it's always a shock when our kids aren't doing what we think they are, but teachers and parents should always work together for the good of the child.

I don't see where anyone is saying the note is so horrible. I would write a note like this after previous conversations or multiple notes about said behaviors. This is a lot to address in one note and a lot to come to a parent with just out of the blue, especially when there have been no changes in routine. In addition, the mother just had a PTC and nothing was said. Of course the parent should be made aware, but for many parents this is their childs first school experience and sometimes need a little more time and care when addressing a problem. I just think under these circumstances a note is not the way to go, especially not a note written in a rush (if that was the case)

Re: note from the pre k teacher

Re: note from the pre k teacher

I can;t imagine not calling a parent to discuss these issues....I would call the teacher and ask to have a meeting with her

Re: note from the pre k teacher

Honestly, a call should of have been the best thing not a note in this case....especially on a Friday, because now your weekend is wondering wth happened and waiting to talk to her about it!

Call the teacher on Monday and hopefully things can be clarified. You know your child better then anyone so don't panic or get defensive (although if you do, it's understandable and normal) She's in pre-k a new experiecing a whole new world. Another thing, it is March? has there been any issues in the past and if so why haven't you heard from her about it? etc
HTH

Re: note from the pre k teacher

Re: note from the pre k teacher

no issues since she started this is the first note home we have received about any issues. i am more worried than defensive. I have other kids and have no problem listening if teachers think that there is an issue with my children. They are there all day with them and of course they might act diffrent at school than they do at home. I just dont want her to have any learning or socialization issues. As i stated earlier my DH had MANY and they went undiagnosed his whole life. the poor guy had to repeat kindergarten because of his issues. granted now we joke and call i "super kindergarten" bit i def dont want that to happen to DD. And if this is new what the heck could bring on a sudden change in behavior? and if its not why havent i been informed before? its just weird. the note was so vague.. what is she doing with her hands? I rarely ever see her hit. and its never to anyone but her little sister! no hitting or major sharing issues on playdates.. its all seems so out of character for her.. I guess thats what made me worried. sorry if i sound like a panicked parent.

Re: note from the pre k teacher

Id be very upset if this was the first id heard of any issues and they were addressed and worded in a letter like this. I think the teacher should have called or set up a meeting.

Re: note from the pre k teacher

I think this is a pretty big bomb to drop on a parent if it's the first you are hearing of any of these things. You should have received a phone call, IMO.

I would probably call or send a note back, requesting a meeting so you can speak to her in person about what is going on.

Re: note from the pre k teacher

Monday am i am going to the school for kindergarten registration so i will request a meeting with the teacher. and hopefully she will be able fit me in sooner than later. Im also sending a note in her backpack. I just hate to think that she has some new weird issues...