UPDATED - Any lawyers or cops here who can answer a question about bullying?

Wow... thank you everyone who responded. Bullying seems to strike a nerve with a lot of people understandably.

I spoke with the prinicpa and the teacher. It appears that they ARE being proactive about this child. Its not just my DS thats being bullied, there are at least 3 other kids dealing with this.

They can not tell me everything thats happening (privacy stuff), however, I was assured that there is a committee involved, his parents have been called in, he will no longer have recess or lunch with the rest of the children, and my DS will never be in a class with him again.

In the meantime, the teacher and I have talked about the classroom things and she told me that she is keeping a notebook of incidents in the classroom that is copied and brought to the school psychologist as well as the parents. She seems to have things under control in that respect.

Thanks again everyone. I also plan to document everything and have told my son to be a "tattle tale"... TELL someone, anyone, whenever this kid bothers him.

Message edited 5/18/2010 11:40:54 AM.

Re: Any lawyers or cops here who can answer a question about bullying?

I would call the precint and ask. I think with all the media hype surrounding bullying they just might be able to help you. I would also go back to the school and DEMAND that some action be taken with this child.

Re: Any lawyers or cops here who can answer a question about bullying?

I would go to the school and demand to speak with the principal.

The school should have notified you if your child was punched at school, not your son.

Your child has the right to feel safe in his/her classroom.

I would tell the prinicipal action must be taken or you will take futher steps.

good luck!

Message edited 5/17/2010 1:37:16 PM.

Re: Any lawyers or cops here who can answer a question about bullying?

I am waiting right now for a call back from the teacher.

I am just completely FED up with this child, and the fact that the school does not seem to want to address it.

Yes, I SHOULD have gotten a call from SOMEONE telling me what happened. But no, he told me, so I called the school, spoke with the AP who assured me she would "look into it". There were other children who witnessed my son get punched (and it was not on the arm, it was in the throat where the bully hit him).

I know it may sound ridiculous to want to get an OOP against a 6 year old, but I am at my wits end here. I want this kid out of my sons class, I want him FAR FAR away. This kid needs help, and his bullying is just going to get worse. It starts somewhere right?



I am trying to hard to keep my cool here, but I am seriously about to lose it.

Message edited 5/17/2010 1:41:28 PM.

Re: Any lawyers or cops here who can answer a question about bullying?

In my opinion, forget the phone and forget the teacher.
If you want this thing to stop, get up to the school and talk with the principal face to face. S/he needs to see how serious you are about getting this stopped.

Re: Any lawyers or cops here who can answer a question about bullying?

Re: Any lawyers or cops here who can answer a question about bullying?

Re: Any lawyers or cops here who can answer a question about bullying?

GOOD LUCK! I would definitely go there and demand to speak to the principal too.

I feel like schools always protect the bully!

If they don't help, I'd call the precinct and ask their advise and call the district office and take it higher than the principal.

Re: Any lawyers or cops here who can answer a question about bullying?

NO way would I be waiting for a call back especially if this has been going on all year by the same kid. Seems to me the principal is not doing anything about the problem. Have the parents of the S.O.B (sorry but I am heated for you) been notified throughout the year? Your son TOLD YOU about it...not the school? You want to protect your child. If nothing was being done by the school, I would contact the police too!

Please update! 1st grade!! Unbelievable!


ETA: All year the school has been "working on it" Yeah....great job on that!

Message edited 5/17/2010 2:23:51 PM.

Re: Any lawyers or cops here who can answer a question about bullying?

unbelieveable how young this starts.

Def. go face to face with the principal.

Re: Any lawyers or cops here who can answer a question about bullying?

When issues like this are recurring in my school, my principal often advises parents to involve the precinct. I do think there comes a point where the school can't do a lot. I too tell my kids to have their parents press charges. I don't know why more parents in my school don't use this option (actually I do- "snitches get stitches").

Re: Any lawyers or cops here who can answer a question about bullying?

My heart is breaking for your son!! How horrible!!! PLEASE let us know what happens -- I pray someone can put a stop to this!!!!!

Re: Any lawyers or cops here who can answer a question about bullying?

this happened to my brother when he was younger and the school and the pediatrician advised my parents to go straight to the police. once they did that and threatened to press charges, the bullying and physical violence stopped.

Re: Any lawyers or cops here who can answer a question about bullying?

Re: Any lawyers or cops here who can answer a question about bullying?

Re: Any lawyers or cops here who can answer a question about bullying?

that is terrible!

unfortunately, the teacher's hands may be tied and there may be no recourse she personally can take. call the principal and demand an appointment. don't "storm" into the school. demand an appt today or tomorrow for in person or over the phone.

usually only the principal, asst principal or someone in admin can handle a situation like this--unfortunately i have first hand experience with this

your son needs to be protected and this other child must have a consequence, and get help.

Re: Any lawyers or cops here who can answer a question about bullying?

My a$$ would be up at that school so fast it would make their heads spin.

Your poor son.

My mom had to go through this with my sister and going up there will get their attention and know you mean business.

Re: Any lawyers or cops here who can answer a question about bullying?

There are a lot of great suggestions here.

I have had personal experience with this.

I was bullied SO BAD in errrr third and fourth grade. By the same girl. EVERY SINGLE DAY. Each day I would report it to the teacher, the administrators, the bus driver when it was on the bus, the aides, the hall people, etc.

My parents called the school, we had school meetings, etc. Nothing worked. The principal would "talk" to the girl, her parents, etc. Nothing worked. Finally, my dad had enough. This might be an old school method but we are traditional people.

He sat me down, after I came home one day more upset than normal b/c the violence and tactics were escalating on her part. She had hit me and then seperately kicked me from behind so that I fell while getting off the bus... He sat me down and said, the next time she touches you - you have my permission to hit her. And I'll never forget the sound in his voice and how he said it - he said, and you hit her HARD. He said and don't stop until she can't do it back - until she gets the message. I was dreading it. I didn't want to do this but this is a part of life sometimes.

We had exhausted all avenues. It was time to stand up for myself. Never start the fight - but make sure to finish it.

The VERY next day, of course, she approached me on the playground. She pushed me from behind and KICKED me off my swing. I stood up, told her (mind you, I'm in like 4th grade LOL) that I wasn't going to take it anymore, got right in her face, and slapped her across her face SO hard I thought her eye would pop out of it's socket. I was prepared to graduate to punching (my dad showed me how) but she was so dumbfounded and scared - she fell to the ground and stayed there, SILENT.

Then, hysterical tears.

All of a sudden there were aides, teachers, the principal, etc. all out on the playground. Here I was hit, kicked, spit at, and bullied to DEATH for over a year and all it took was me hitting her once to get this reaction? What the heck?! Well, whatever, my dad told me I would be fine - that he would protect me. He prepared me for this.

We went down the office. The principal screamed in my face - I'll never forget it. These were different times than now LOL. Even though it was only in the 90s. Anywho, my dad came down to the office and he walked in, the principal explained what happened. And she said, "you know, Danielle hit her -- right across the face". My dad looked at her and I'll NEVER FORGET THIS - and asked "hard??" and she said "yes, VERY!" and he leaned forward and said "GOOD!"

Well, that was it. Every single day from that moment forward that girl never even gave me a second look. She didn't even BREATHE in my direction....... allllll the way up to 12th grade. She literally never spoke a word to me again.

I'm very sorry your son has to deal with this.

Re: Any lawyers or cops here who can answer a question about bullying?

Re: Any lawyers or cops here who can answer a question about bullying?

I am so sorry this happened!

Please keep us posted!

Re: Any lawyers or cops here who can answer a question about bullying?

I say you go all Rebecca Demorney ala "hand that rocks the cradle" on him and approach this kid in the playground.



hang in there... that's got to be so awful for you & your son.

Message edited 5/18/2010 2:11:33 PM.

Re: Any lawyers or cops here who can answer a question about bullying?

I would go straight to the principal and DEMAND a meeting with the child's parents. Poor kid

I am SO angry for you

Message edited 5/17/2010 11:35:41 PM.

Re: Any lawyers or cops here who can answer a question about bullying?

my daughter had been bullied for years and the school district did NOTHING. in JHS there was a girl who just would not stop. i always told my daughter not to ever start a fight but NEVER, EVER back down from one and if anyone ever put their hands on you make sure their a$$ is on the floor. one day this girl hit my daughter from behind and tripped her. my daughter got in her face and b!tchslapped her up against a wall. of course, you know who got in trouble. when i spoke to the AP she told me what had happened and i looked her right in the face and asked her what you would haVe liked her to do. i said you never handled this girl and she did. my daughter got in-school suspension for one day and that was OK but this girl never bothered her again. neither did any one else.

schools do nothing regarding bullying. kids who are bullied need to learn to stand up for themselves because the schools never will. you can try the roads you need to take in order to say that you exhausted all the methods of letting the district handle this matter, but in the end its going to haVe to come down to your child, no matter how young, standing up for themselves.

Re: Any lawyers or cops here who can answer a question about bullying?

So sorry your DC is dealing with this! I just wanted to add that you should make sure you document every interaction you have with the school regarding this. In detail. Please keep us updated!

Re: Any lawyers or cops here who can answer a question about bullying?

when my dd was in 1st grade a boy hot my dd with a bat and she hit her head on the swingset and the principal didnt even return our calls...they had the gym teacher call to speak to us
they refused to call this kids parents "due to a language barrier"
my dh called school 3 times then went above the principal and spoke to the superintendent
that kid hasnt bothered her again