Who's career is more important?

So, DH is an accountant and I am a teacher.

I was excessed from my job here last year and we moved to SC. Bought a gorgeous house and I could teach.

He got a decent accounting job down there. The market isn't so great in that area for accounting jobs.

Fast forward:
DH's old job here in NY offers him a big promotion, a nice salary and relocation.
Knowing my inlaws didn't like the south, we all moved back.

Now, I can't find a teaching job.

DH knows I am miserable here and he said why don't we move back down. You can teach and we still have our house.

I don't know what to do. My husband has a lot of potential up here. He is already a "Director of Accounting/Controller" making a nice salary at 27 years old. His company adores him and I can see him staying at his job for a long time. Another perk: fully paid medical benefits.

If we stay here, chances are I won't teach. I have considered and am registered to start a second master's in accounting up here, but its not my dream job.

IF we go there, I will have my job and he will have to find a job (which we will before we actually move back down). I know I am guaranteed a job there because I am a math teacher and like "gold" down there.

So, how do you decide what's best? Long-term he can make a lot more here then there. BTW he really likes his job.

Any input? Suggestions? What would you weigh as important?

Re: Who's career is more important?

I feel the teaching situation in NYS is awful right now, and not permanent. I'd stick it out here, let him make the big bucks, and hopefully the educational industry will turn around soon. Maybe find something related - tutoring, subbing, etc.

Re: Who's career is more important?

to me....who ever makes the money to support the family

it sounds like he would make enough here to support you

but not the other way around

Re: Who's career is more important?

He makes more now then I will probably make in most of my teaching job. His salary is definitely more important. I guess I just answered my own question!

Re: Who's career is more important?

can you just ride it out here while the teaching market is bad.....it will change.

Re: Who's career is more important?

No one's career is more important than the others- even in regards to salary. I think that the decision needs to be based on what's going to bring the best situation for the family as a whole, not who can bite the bullet.

Where are you happy? where is DH happy? What's best for your kids? which situation offers the best quality of life? Just a few things to consider. But, i dont think its as easy as figuring out who's job is more important

Re: Who's career is more important?

I feel your pain. When we were in CA, there was a hiring freeze and it took a long time for me to get a job.


But Ido agree that things will get better in teaching in NY...and if you are math, they will get better sooner than other certifications.


You might want to look into a TA per diem or perm sub, while you are waiting.

Re: Who's career is more important?

Posted by Beth

to me....who ever makes the money to support the family

it sounds like he would make enough here to support you

but not the other way around

Re: Who's career is more important?

I don't know if it is an issue of whose job is more important...I may be wrong but it appears that money doesn't seem to be a problem for you in SC or LI right? Where are you (the family) happier? If it is in NY then hold out and you will find a job. If it is in SC, go back, your DH will find something there. Good Luck!

Re: Who's career is more important?

I thnk you will eventually find a teaching job you love. I think it's inevitable.

Sounds like there's more to it than whose job is more important.

Re: Who's career is more important?

Re: Who's career is more important?

His is. He does IT and I do admin/executive/office manager type of work.

Re: Who's career is more important?

Thanks everyone. Either place we can afford because the current salaries go with the expenses.

I love SC for a few different reasons. And DH was happy with both too.

The only reason we came back to NY was for his career and to "see our families" which is a disaster in itself.

Re: Who's career is more important?

Well I think both of our careers are important.

While my DH makes more I have the pension, awesome benefits and a wonderful Tax Deferred Annuity program--so thanks to me we will retire very well. And thanks to DH we can live very well

Re: Who's career is more important?

Both careers are important, but sometimes you are forced to make a sacrifice.

Is there something similar to teaching you could be employed in that isn't in a classroom? Maybe something working with children in another capacity? Like a learning center, etc. Just thinking maybe opening your eyes a little will help you find something you find rewarding and be a win-win with your husband staying in his job.

If it would make you miserable and he is happy moving back down south, then maybe that is the best choice. You gotta do what is right for you, KWIM.

Re: Who's career is more important?

I think the meaning of "importance" in relation to a families career situation is whose career is making the $$$$$$$$. THATS whats most important. His apparently is the money maker so I would stick it out up here, and once the economy turns around im sure the teaching industry will be thriving for new hires. Especially bc as it is I hear that they are trying to offer GOOD retirement plans to tenured teachers to cut some of the payroll.

Re: Who's career is more important?

Right now my husband's. due to his education requirements, I was in the working world well before him. i fully established myself careerwise. Now his career is more important so that he can build a reputation etc.

Re: Who's career is more important?

DH and I made comparable salaries, so we were both the breadwinner.

However, once I had DS two years ago, my heart belonged to him, not my job. I only worked because I had to.

But DH was very ambitious, and he was offered a great job that we had to relocate for. I gave up my job and am now a SAHM. So in that case, we considered his to be more important because of the shift in my priorities.

Re: Who's career is more important?

"Important" isn't the right word -- we make the same salary (give or take) and both love our jobs. But we've lived in 3 different states in the last 3 years because of DH's job. I can do my job anywhere, but he needs certain facilities that aren't available all over. I'm just the "trailing spouse."