heartbreaking Text I received from DH

I had asked DH the other day what he wanted for his birthday. He said GC for itunes or the apple store....perfect.....

The other day we had received a call for a family member saying they were pregnant. They were married after us. There will be several new babies in the family between this year and next year.

Yesterday he sends me a text message
first one: Do you know what you can get me for my birthday?

My response: what would that be my dear.

His reponse: a baby

My response: Well for some people it is easier and others it isn't. We fall in the not so easy category.

His response: Well XXX is having a baby and I thought it would be nice for them to grow up together.



That was something I wasn't expecting. We had been to an RE 2 years ago and it was determined that we had no other option but IVF. We have MI and I have some issues too, but he would have to go through a procedure that would not be fun. Going through the tests and the procedures took it's toll on us emotionally.

For all the people in our family that are pregnant they are either teachers or the mom can stay home if she needed to. All their family have a stronger family support that we do too. They have houses and families that can watch the kids if they need to. They also don't need to worry about summer camp....

I know we can never be financially ready to have kids, but i feel we need to have a little something. A one bedroom apt doesn't really cut it. BOTH of us need to work as we don't really make a lot of money. IVF is thousands, daycare, summer camp....I don't know if my stress level could take it......

I don't really know what the point of this is...just needed to vent.......

Thanks for listening.

Re: heartbreaking Text I received from DH

Re: heartbreaking Text I received from DH

I am so sorry to hear that, I understand where you are coming from and if you need an ear just FM me. We have close to the same situation. Both my parents are gone. His parents will be able to help some but with all the issues, its so difficult. We did 2 tries of IVF with a bfn. On the other hand, my brother said if there is a will there is a way. Children are expensive and you find a way. same with my bff.. she is in a 2 bedroom apt and just had twins. she also has a son and a daughter.

I wish the best for you and your DH

Re: heartbreaking Text I received from DH

I had a similar discussion when we were trying for quite a few months already & found out my SIL was going to start trying. I had images of our kids being the same age and us hanging out with babies together.

Looking hindsight.... it doesn't make much of a difference. You will have your kid when the time is right... even if it's a while after everyone else.



I totally understand.

Re: heartbreaking Text I received from DH

Re: heartbreaking Text I received from DH

so sorry! Its just not fair! lots of

Re: heartbreaking Text I received from DH

i understand too. i have been fighting infertility for the past 14 months. although i am hopeful that I wont need IVF, i do need a whole array of other drugs to get me and keep me pregnant. luckily i have decent insurance that covers most of it.

but i know what you mean financially. when we started TTC last may DH had a job. now he has been out of work for 6 months and we have depleted some of our savings, and lost a lot of it in the market as well. i dont think i will ever get to be a SAHM and i am insanely jealous of every woman that gets to be. we have family support, but we dont have a house and with the state of our savings, unless we move out of new york, it looks like we will be renting for quite a while. i worry about these things constantly, but in the end with the issues i have, i dont know when i will get pregnant and give birth. we dont know what our lives will be like when it happens. hopefully we will be in a better position. but i wont give up on my dream of being a mom and having a family, and at this point both DH and I decided we have to keep trying - because we dont know how much longer it will take before we actually get to take home a .

so in the end you have to do whats best for you and your family, but you never do know what the future holds. so my advice is if you know you want a family, and can muster the financial support for IVF, i would just do it! you never know what could change in 9 months!!

good luck

Re: heartbreaking Text I received from DH

First off -

You said you and DH went to a RE 2 years ago - have you had any testing done since then ?? What male issues does DH have (if you don't mind me asking?)

HERE'S MY POST about DH's numbers before and after taking 2 Fertilaid per day and 200mg of pycnogenol per day for about 3 months. He also had a DNA fragmentation test done and that was normal.

After being told by my old OBGYN that we would probably have to do IVF/ICSI to get pregnant - I am currently 18 weeks pregnant after my 2nd IUI !!!

IMO - if you haven't done anything in regards to testing since you saw the RE I would "start over" and have some tests done. Maybe order the vitamins and have him start taking them - they can't hurt !! The Fertilaid is also a multivitiman.

Good Luck !!

Re: heartbreaking Text I received from DH

Posted by TTC-DL

First off -

You said you and DH went to a RE 2 years ago - have you had any testing done since then ?? What male issues does DH have (if you don't mind me asking?)

HERE'S MY POST about DH's numbers before and after taking 2 Fertilaid per day and 200mg of pycnogenol per day for about 3 months. He also had a DNA fragmentation test done and that was normal.

After being told by my old OBGYN that we would probably have to do IVF/ICSI to get pregnant - I am currently 18 weeks pregnant after my 2nd IUI !!!

IMO - if you haven't done anything in regards to testing since you saw the RE I would "start over" and have some tests done. Maybe order the vitamins and have him start taking them - they can't hurt !! The Fertilaid is also a multivitiman.

Good Luck !!