When making a job decision- which do you think is more important?

(A) hours that are more conducive to your family life

OR

(B) a choice that will better your career now and in the future?

DH is a Detective in NYPD. Right now he rotates 4 on 2 off, the first two days he works 4pm-1am the second two days he works 8am-4pm. We live in Riverhead and he works in Queens. He drives in everyday b/c his job is not near the trains and the train takes ~3hrs.

DH has the possibility of a transfer; choice (A) would be M-F day shift, in Manhattan VERY accessible to the subway. It's a more computer based job and has some potential for further career opportunities after retirement.

choice (B) would flip-flop, one week days one week 4pm-12am in Manhattan, NOT accessible by train so he would have to continue driving (which he does not mind). This would have EXCELLENT opportunities for future career opportunities.

He is leaning towards choice (A) b/c it's better for the family. I agree, but feel he should go with option (B), we'll manage (as we are now) with the schedule.

Just curious what others think.

Re: When making a job decision- which do you think is more important?

I'd go with something that's going to better my career now and in the future. I understand the need to have time with family but if in the long run it benefits you guys (and ultimately the family and time spent with them) I'd say make the sacrifice now so that he can reap the benefits later on.

Re: When making a job decision- which do you think is more important?

I would focus on the family. It sounds like either job is OK financially, so it doesn't seem like you would be making huge financial sacrifices. DC are only young once. You can always manage to find more money. You can't find more time.
I saw a cool saying years ago. Something along the lines of "At a funeral, you'll never hear the kids saying 'I wish Daddy spent more time at work.'"

Re: When making a job decision- which do you think is more important?

it seems that both have opportunities for growth so i would go with choice A..more conducive to family time.

Re: When making a job decision- which do you think is more important?

hard to say. It's really a personal choice depending on where you are in your career and life.

Re: When making a job decision- which do you think is more important?

If he's driving into Manhattan during those hours every day, what is that going to do for his quality of life?

There's a huge difference IMO with getting into Queens and then adding on what could be another hour or more headed into Manhattan.

Not to mention the ride back home.

Re: When making a job decision- which do you think is more important?

Before I had DS I would have gone with B

Now, I feel like having both myself and DH around as much as possible is the best for DS, so if we have to sacrifice then so be it.

So I would vote for A

Re: When making a job decision- which do you think is more important?

you can't buy time, so anyway that you can gain a little bit more, might be attractive.


DH works from home and is super involved in our kids' lives. He keeps saying he could get a 50% increase with additional bonuses of 50-100% of his salary (his friend is trying to recruit him). I constantly talk him out of it,as we do pretty well and he is living a life that few people are able to (makes good money, has a great relationship with his kids and plays at least 54 holes of golf a week)

Re: When making a job decision- which do you think is more important?

A!!!! Better hours, a better commute, and more family time would in my opinion make a huge difference in quality of life and that is so valuable.

Re: When making a job decision- which do you think is more important?

Honestly, I think it should be up to your DH because he's the one who has to do that 3 hour commute and will be the one missing out on family time. It sounds like both jobs have potential for career opptys so that doesn't seem to be too big of an issue (unless I'm misunderstanding your post).

Message edited 7/14/2010 11:46:47 AM.

Re: When making a job decision- which do you think is more important?

Honestly, I think it should be up to your DH because he's the one who has to do that 3 hour commute and will be the one missing out on family time. It sounds like both jobs have potential for career opptys so that doesn't seem to be too big of an issue (unless I'm misunderstanding your post).

ETA: I don't think you should go with B just b/c you feel like you "should". Go with what makes you and DH feel happiest. Maybe talk about long term outcomes of both options - less family time would make you and DH feel how? Not as robust career opptys (i assume it means less money too?) would make your life different how? etc