just had a m/c and it was my first pregnancy

I finally got pregnant and the baby stopped growing at 5 weeks, I had a d and c yesterday. I decided to get it over with and not wait for it to do on its own. I am spotting, but feeling crampy. I dont know how you can emotional get past this. I know I will. I just feel like I have been crying since I found out. I do want to start trying again once I get my AF again, I feel like getting pregnant again will help, that is all I want is to have a baby.
does anyone have any advice on getting through this. I dont even want to get out of bed.

Re: just had a m/c and it was my first pregnancy

my advice: let yourself cry and be sad. It's OK. When I had my D&C I spent the following days making everyone else feel better ('no, it's ok', 'it happened for a reason', 'they say 20% of all pregnancies end in miscarriage', blah blah blah). 7 days later it hit me like a ton of bricks and that's when I laid in bed for 3 days and let my husband take care of the house and I just slept and watched TV.

But then you have to get up and look toward the future because you will get PG again and you will have a healthy baby. Allow yourself to grieve, but then focus on the future too.

Re: just had a m/c and it was my first pregnancy

My first and second pregnancies before having my DD and one before my current pregnancy that required a D and C ended in miscarriage as well. Let your self heal, allow yourself to grieve and take comfort in knowing you are not alone. I have a healthy beautiful child, am soon to deliver another and you will have that blessing as well.

Re: just had a m/c and it was my first pregnancy

First, I'm sorry that you are going through this. I had a D & C the beginning of July after we went for a routine check up and found no heartbeat. Like you, I wanted it over with. We're TTCing again, but I let myself cry and I didn't get out of bed for 4 days and then I got back in bed for 2 more. Let yourself go through the emotions and heal. Take care of yourself. I found coming on here and venting to be very helpful b/c these ladies were so supportive and knew exactly how I felt. Good Luck and lots and lots of

Re: just had a m/c and it was my first pregnancy

I'm sorry for your loss! This board is excellent for support and advice.

It will get better I promise. Just give yourself time to heal and be upset. It's a tough thing to deal with. You will become hopeful again when you are ready to TTC.

I had two miscarriage, and now 23 weeks pregnant expecting my 1st!

Re: just had a m/c and it was my first pregnancy

I'm so sorry for your loss!

I has 3 m/c last year (all about 6.5 weeks). Let yourself mourn. To this day I still think about them and "what could have been". You'll never forget, but the pain does lessen over time.

Re: just had a m/c and it was my first pregnancy

I wanted to thank you guys for your support. It makes me feel less alone out here. I think knowing how others have managed and having support from people that truly understand how you feel is helpful. thank you

Re: just had a m/c and it was my first pregnancy

It will all feel better in time..let yourself be sad but try to let happy things in as well..you will get through this..it is hard and painful and no one should have to deal with this but unfortunately we all have and it stinks..but the good thing is we have all gotten through it also and you will too...good luck...

Re: just had a m/c and it was my first pregnancy

sending

the same thing happened to us but at our 10 week appointment--- devastation is not even a strong enough word to explain the feelings-- like the other ladies said cry cry cry-- your body needs to release the emotions-- don't hold them in--- also realize that no matter what NO ONE will understand DH, boyfriend, partner, best friend, family member what you are going through unless they have experienced it themselves -- as for the men in our life they will NEVER understand--- I found so much strength and support in this board and please know we are all here for you!! Keep your head up but also cry whenever you need too!!

another thing that helped me was reading the posts of women you had suffered m/c's and then got pregnant and their pregnancies are going well--- when I was in the depths of my sorrow I never believed that I could be one of the women-- BUT i am happy to say that I am-- got my BFP 4 months after the D&C-- (3 cycles)--- I am now 11 weeks!!!

much love--

Message edited 8/27/2010 9:28:42 PM.

Re: just had a m/c and it was my first pregnancy

The same thing happened to us 2 weeks ago. We were 6 weeks and they told us we should schedule a d& C. I wanted to wait a little and ended up having a m/c naturally. It was very difficult going through it... I cried everyday and felt the same way as you about trying right away. Every day that passes, I feel better and look forward to becoming pregnant again. I think trying, if you are ready, right away is a good idea. That is what we are doing. I am not sure if your doctor told you, but this happens to many many women and there is nothing you could have done to prevent this from happening. I struggled with that, saying, maybe if I rested or didn't get stressed out or ate better. My dr said that because it happened once does not mean it will happen again. Just look forward to the baby you will have soon enough.

Re: just had a m/c and it was my first pregnancy

I am so sorry that this happened to you too. I also struggled with what did I do, but my doctor did reassure me there is nothing that I could have done to prevent this from happening to me. He did say that this happens to many many women, apparently 1 in 4, I could not believe that. It does not make me feel any better. We are going to try again as soon as my AF returns we are good to go. I just want to get pregnant again, I think that is the only thing that will allow me to move forward. So far, the thing(being pregnant) was supposed to be the happiest time of my life and it has been the most horrific thing. I know I will be nervous, but I I really want a baby. Thanks for your response. Best of luck to you.

Re: just had a m/c and it was my first pregnancy

I am sorry for your loss. I had a D & C in early 2010. You have to be sad for a few days and then try to focus on the future and the good things to come. I have completely accepted my M/C and am no longer grieving so in time I am sure you will feel better too.