Spinoff on Activities

The other post got me thinking about stress in a child and/or families' lives because of over-scheduling. My DD complains about her swimming class (a lot), but I insist she go and learn basics of swimming, especially since she's not in the pool all summer. On the other hand, she LOVES her gymnastics class.

Also, as a working parent, I find that they do not get enough time to play at home and they really like to be home and chill (not necessarily in front of the TV), but maybe this is just my kids. I'm a bit stressed this past week with everything starting up!

Does your child enjoy all of his/her activities?

Once you sign them up (and pay) do you make them go even if they whine/cry/complain before every class?

Did they choose their classes or did you pick them?

I know age matters in this too.

Re: Spinoff on Activities

I think it's so easy as a parent to get carried away with signing up your DC for all of these great activities. For example, I would love my DDs to do dance, music, a sport, swimming, Daisies, martial arts, art, etc etc etc...seriously, I would! But I will not do that to them. I don't want an over-scheduled life for my children.

They are very small still--only in kindergarten and nursery right now. Currently, they are both in dance (well, my 3 year old starts this week) and they LOVE it. My older one will be joining Daisies also this month. Honestly, for ME, that's more than enough at their young age. I didn't choose the dance lessons...my MIL did. As the first two females born in her family in about 50 years, I think they were both signed up upon delivery!

Even when they are older, I plan to limit their extracurriculars to two or three. And those would be things that they enjoy; I will not force them to take piano because *I* loved it. I do agree with you on the swimming, though. I think it's important to learn and I plan on finding a swimming class for my girls next spring--I see that more of a short-term thing though. I mean once them swim, they swim. KWIM?

This is a topic I've thought about a lot recently...

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Once I sign them up, they go.

We usually talk about what they want to do & give choices, but somethings are non-negotiable.

Religious instruction & swimming lessons are two of them.

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I only have my DS in one activity at a time ( and right now its one day a week, for an hour or so) but....

When he used to whine about going to T-Ball ( he was a little younger and less mature) I used it as a way to explain "commitment" to him and that he is part of a team etc...

I am very against over-scheduling and think kids need time to "just be kids" so I am going to try very hard to make sure they get their down time

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Re: Spinoff on Activities

I just let my son drop soccer bc he just doesn't like it. He's been in soccer since he was 5. He's almost 8 and it was hard for us to decide bc there is a point where, if they stick with something, it becomes less work and they get more enjoyment out of it bc they see the fruits of their labor when their skills improve or they start to have more fun. Whether it's because they mature or their listening/perception skills improve. But that's not true for every activity they are in. Whatever the case, for a few reasons, we decided to let him drop soccer. My DD was doing gymnastics and she decided she rather try something else so we are not doing it and she will be doing swimming. There's no hard & fast rule IMO, it depends on the situation and activity. Paying $65 for soccer vs paying $350 for gymnastics makes a difference in whether they should at least finish out the season/session I guess. My kids have never really cried and whined over going to the stuff enough that I felt guilty making them go. A few complaints & mumbles yes but no meltdowns and tears.

I do want them to participate in something and find their niche but the overscheduling is a big stressor. Now my youngest is old enough to be in the mix, it's a big stress if it's too much running around to shuttle 3 kids to and from endless activities. For everyone, not just me but I won't lie, I personally don't want to run from activity to activity - and I'm a SAHM, I can only imagine if I was doing it and working.

They each have a few thing going on - some of it is not "fun" - like the older 2 go to religion, my oldest goes to social skills group (which he actually likes which I'm happy about), my youngest goes to speech therapy but those factor into their schedule so we count them in obviously. Besides that they're each doing a weekly activity and a non-weekly (ie DD's Daisy's meet 2x a month)

It has to manageable. It has to be based on your family and it's needs. Ours doesn't work well when we are running all over the place inhaling food and changing clothes in the car. I know some people who do this and it works for them, which is fine. And I really want my oldest to focus on his academics this year too. He's very bright to begin with and has always done very well academically but he has the chance to really excel this year. So that is as important to me this year as are extra-curricular activities.

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My kids have been playing soccer since they were three. Now, at 9 and 10, they're both doing travel and love it. It's been part of their lives for so long that at this point, it's just part of them. It is EXTREMELY time consuming but they look forward to practice. Plus..DH and I are the coaches (he coaches ds, I coach dd and we help each other out as well) so if they ever wanted to quit...well, that would just STINK!! : )

Religion..they're not so crazy about but it's non-negotiable. They finish in 8th grade, make their confirmation in the beginning of 9th..so 3 years left for ds, 5 for dd. They're just going to have to suck it up and deal with it because they don't get a choice on that one!

DS just dropped boy scouts this year. It was 100% his decision and DH and I would've been fine with whatever he decided. He wasn't really very into it so there's no reason to continue if he's not having fun. We did make him finish out last year though because he was already committed to it. They are not allowed to quit something in the middle.

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We make DC participate in their activities. Especially DS. If we left the decisions up to him, he would just stay home and watch TV all day. I am heavily involved in almost all of his extracurricular activities (I'm at every soccer practice and game, and was the asst coach last year, I'm his Cub Scout Den leader, and I assist in some of his karate classes). I can see in him that he does actually enjoy it most of the time, if not more, and I can see him improving in both his skill and his enjoyment. Plus, I think these are skill sets that he will use for the rest of his life.
He is far from stressed out. He still has plenty of time to just relax and hang out at home, and go to friends' houses.

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I asked my two children (3 and 4) what they want to do. They both wanted to do the activities they do.

I feel it is important to expose them to many things so they can figure out what they like and don't like.

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In our family I sign my kids up for whatever they want to do, but the rule is once it's paid for, you see it through to the end. So far they haven't wanted to quit anything so there have been no battles.

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I have Bella signed up for soccer and am toying with either late registration for Dance or Karate.

I work in the city, and 4 pm for a class is hard to get to. Plus all the "drama" I hear that comes with dance....I just don't know.

She will see soccer through this season and then hopefully want to do it again next year (only fall for the little ones)

I was thinking about swimming during the winter and maybe gymnastics in the spring, but I don't want to be running around ragged either. I figure, she'll try a bunch of things out in the next year or so...and then she'll choose what she loves and focus on that.