When you first move into a new community:

Do you feel it is your obligation to introduce yourself to neighbors? Or do you think the existing people should approach the new people to say hello?

We have a large neighborhood and when we moved in I thought FOR SURE people would be coming up and introducing themselves when they saw the moving truck left and right! But no. The people that live RIGHT across from us, and we see them often, have never uttered a word to us!

Then, I thought, maybe we should go up to them -- and others? Weird, when other newbies move in I feel like I should go to them - to make them feel welcome. I usually say "hello, we just want to welcome you to the community! hope you enjoy it here" and say our names. If it was the other way around what would I say? "Hi, I just want to welcome myself to the community" ...since you're obviously not going to!

What do you think? Our job, their job, or people just no longer say hello?

Re: When you first move into a new community:

My take on it is this, and it's from my own personal experience and I can't speak for everyone, obviously.

You moved into a condo/townhouse, right? I've lived in complexes before, and people were either:

a) completely up each other's behinds and nosy, or gossip-mongers

or

b) completely ignored each other

Sadly, there weren't that many people who were on the in-between.

I would think this would exist in any living situation, but I've heard from friends who live in complexes/gated communities that they might go to great lengths to NOT speak to anyone, for privacy reasons, KWIM? Even though you have your own unit/home, you're still living in close proximity.

For example, when I lived in a complex, I'd have a bbq and my neighbor would come over with baked beans. She wasn't invited, but invited herself. She was in the unit next to me. She probably felt like she could because I was always friendly and chatted with her.


If you wish, you can always say hi or introduce yourself to people. But some people rather just keep things separate, for whatever reasons.

I've learned my lessons and now am friendly but distant.

Message edited 10/9/2010 1:30:26 AM.

Re: When you first move into a new community:

when we moved in, our next door neighbor said hi when he saw us outside. the neighbor on the other side of us seems like a big d-bag though and when DH was mowing near his property line, he came out with his blower to blow the grass on his side (which looks like crap) away, no hello, or whatever.

Re: When you first move into a new community:

I have lived in both gated condo style neighborhoods & single family home neighborhoods. Now we live in an area that has single family homes but we have a beach club & a clubhouse.

In the townhouse most of my neighbors welcomed me quickly & we became friendly without it being too much. A few people seemed super private and even after years they would barely wave.

In our current house most of our neighbors are only here seasonally, but they all came around when they realized we were here. I was elected to the board of directors about three months after we moved in & I chaired the welcoming committee for a few years. So every time a new neighbor moved in one of the 500 homes I would go with another board member to give them info about the beaches, invite them to upcoming events & we'd usually give a plant or a prepackaged cake. Most of the new people seemed thrilled & have become active in the neighborhood. A few seemed a little weirded out.
I'm no longer on the board but I believe the welcoming committee still does the same thing. We just got new neighbors-about 5 houses away & I brought them sunflowers.

I think its ok for you to initiate saying hello.
Joining your homeowners association is a great way to meet more people.

Message edited 10/9/2010 6:59:54 AM.

Re: When you first move into a new community:

our neighbors definitely approached us when we moved in, but it all sorta happened naturally. we'd be outside while they were outside and we'd wave to each other, say hi, a conversation would start, other neighbors would migrate from across the street to join the neighborly chatter and whammo, we met everyone close to us.

Re: When you first move into a new community:

all of my new neighbors came to us, it's a dead end street and everyone is very friendly

Re: When you first move into a new community:

the day we moved in all our surrounding neighbors came by and introduced themselves and said hello. we even met the nieghbors behind us right away too. everyone was so friendly! they all talk to us and one even picks up our garbage pail when we are at work!! I never thought about it, but its really nice to have such great neighbors.

I don't know who is supposed to do it, but if they haven't said hello, I would say hello to them the next time you see them.

Re: When you first move into a new community:

I'm not sure what the right answer is. When we moved in we had one neighbor knock on the door to introduce themselves. Everyone else we met when we walked our dog around the neighborhood. We moved in to the neighborhood in May and we only met a few of our neighbors...very disappointing!

Re: When you first move into a new community:

The first neighbor who introduced himself to my husband started spewing dirt on another neighbor within the first 5 mins of chatting... Then another came up to intro and started talking about others... And then the only person we're connected to (condo community) came knocking on our door the 2nd day because we flooded her kitchen with our washing machine

It seems like most of our neighbors wanna talk about one another so its the reason why we try to kee to ourselves... kinda sucks

Re: When you first move into a new community:

Nope, I waited for people to say something to me. But I am an introvert...

Re: When you first move into a new community:

We had a great experience when we moved in. My next door neighbor came by and asked if we needed help. Two evenings later he and his wife invited us over to see their yard, and all the neighboirs had gotten together and thrown us a welcome party.
It was one of the most wonderful feelings of welcome I think I ever had.

I say go introduce yourself. Some will appreciate it and some not, but don't waste time by not living in a community, and being isloated.

When the next newbie arrives, be sure to welcme them with open arms and change the ways things were when you arrived!

Re: When you first move into a new community:

When we moved in our next door neighbor came over and introduced himself within days of our moving in. Another neighbor baked muffins for us. We are here 5 years and really only know about 1/2 of our block. There are about 20 houses on our street. We are friendly with all of the people we know. When we got new neighbors I brought over brownies for them. In general we all keep to ourselves, but everyone is friendly and will wave hi/by. When my neighbor locked herself out of her house, I brought her into mine. Let her use my phone and made her food so she could be comfortable until her daughter came over with keys an hour later. My neighbors invite us to parties and we do the same thing. I really like where we live. Yes, we are sometimes busy bodies, but everyone is really nice and lends a hand when needed. It is a great community.

Re: When you first move into a new community:

People came up to us before we had a chance but we would have. One next door neighbor is very social - the other not so much. Across the street is also nice.

Re: When you first move into a new community:

Some came to us, some we introduced ourselves to.

Re: When you first move into a new community:

We moved in June. Not one neighbor has said anything to us. The people across the street finally said something about 2 months ago. They were saying hi to ds. They seem nice enough. The neighbors on both sides of us I have said hello to and gotten nothing in return. They could go fly a kite. A new couple moved in right after us I went over with ds and introduced ourselves.

I watch all these Hgtv shows and they always show the neighbors bringing muffins or something. Not here.

Re: When you first move into a new community:

we have no relationship with our neighbors

march would be 6 years living in our town.

the most i get is a wave or a complaint from the old lady next door about our contractor being loud

Message edited 10/11/2010 10:46:57 AM.

Re: When you first move into a new community:

where i live is a gated community and there are a sections within it...i live in the townhouse section but there are areas with duplexes, modest single familes and then huge estate style homes...it's really cute b/c it's like a mini neighborhood with lakes, a pool, a park, walking/biking trails all within the gates...

when i go walking or bike riding everyone outside says hello no matter what area i am in. in that case people are very friendly. at the pool i notice that people with children seem to attract eachother. DH and I have no children so nobody approaches us on our block i am friendly with my neighbor attached on the right and our neighbor across the street. both are elderly couples and they introduced themselves to us. as far as other neighbors we just wave or smile.

if you go to the clubhouse or pool it does seem like there are little cliques. cliques of parents, cliiques of elderly. we really don't fit in anywhere just yet since this is a very family orientated neighborhood and we are the singletons.

DH and i are both shy when it comes to making conversation so we wait for people to approach us i kind of like it though since like someone else said we are attached and we want to keep our privacy. if a young couple with a baby moved in that would be great and maybe i would want to be more friendly but as of now i don't really have any interest.

Re: When you first move into a new community:

None really came to say hi to us. We wave hi to a few of them tho as we see them.

Our neighbor to our left we had to meet. Our phone could not be connected because the box is in his backyard. He has two huge dogs so we had to call and introduce ourselves as well as leave a note on his door. So his wife called us then he came by to say hi.

Otherwise, no one has come to us.

Re: When you first move into a new community:

I think the existing neighbors should come say hi. That said, only one of ours did when we moved in. We've now been there several years, and there are some neighbors (right across the street!) whose names we don't even know. We'll wave or say hi if we see them outside, but I think they're just unfriendly...

Re: When you first move into a new community:

A lot of our neighbors came over to say good bye to the old owners after we closed (we all came back to the house) so we got to meet them that way. Someone brought us brownies

When new neighbors have moved in, I bring them a plate of cookies or brownies. I like to welcome them.

Re: When you first move into a new community:

People only came to talk to us when we were out with our kids except for the family who lives right next to us. They were always friendly.

When my brother and SIL moved to their house they got plants and some other welcoming gifts I think. They have such a nice block. I am really jealous.

Re: When you first move into a new community:

When we moved in our next door neighbor brought over brownies. They have since moved and a real jerk has moved in. We live on a court with 10 houses. I had a pampered chef party and invited everyone on my block a couple of months after we moved in. Everyone came but 3 houses. All are very nice. We've been here 3.5 year and we've been invited to a few BBQs and there was a block party. I wouldn't say we are friends with anyone on our block but we are friendly.

Re: When you first move into a new community:

My dh & I usually just say Hi to people in the elevator, laundry, and pool areas..but we don't go out of our way to meet anyone.

Re: When you first move into a new community:

When we first moved in, I expected people to come up to us. Most of them did, the ones that didn't, I introduced myself to if they looked friendly.

When new neighbors move in, I introduce myself to them.