TCC'ers who already have a child

do you feel less sympathy from others or your from your doctor since you already have a child?

I do.

Our first child was not planned at all, it totally happened by accident (almost 4 yrs ago). So you can imagine my frustration this time around (going onto my 8th month of TTC). My doctor told me that he knows I can conceive a child so that there is not aneed for further testing at this point. But I am almost 35 and nervous that my time is running out.

Re: TCC'ers who already have a child

I'm very frustrated. i'm 2 months behind you with trying.

Re: TCC'ers who already have a child

H*ll to the yes!! We have been trying for #2 since May. I saw the doc at the begging of this month for some irregular bleeding. He basically blew me off and told me that I have been pregnant before so we know I can get pregnant and sent me on my way

Re: TCC'ers who already have a child

I haven't had that issue but I went to an RE on my own. That's crappy of your doc to say that and quite frankly ignorant . Has he not heard of secondary infertility.

Re: TCC'ers who already have a child

I have a son and thought it would be no problem getting pregnant with number 2. Boy was I wrong. Found out DH has low sperm count over a year later and had our 1st IUI. Will see Friday if it worked. NOt very hopeful though due to the precentage of it working being like 10%


if you are concerned, I would press the issue with your doctor. Hopefully there arent any real issues and it just hasnt happened yet.

Message edited 11/17/2010 8:03:11 PM.

Re: TCC'ers who already have a child

I could've wrote the same post word for word...

My only advice is to be pro-active. Tell your doctor -- I want this test, I want that test. My doctor was very willing to do them but I had to push for it...

Also, my doctors are in Manhattan, and they honestly feel as though 35 is NOT old... many of their patients are 41, 42, even older...

Re: TCC'ers who already have a child

Thanks everyone for your responses! So nice to know that i am not alone in feeling this way. I am going to hang out till January and if it doesn't happen by then I am going to press the issue with my dr. I want to get the show on the road already!

Re: TCC'ers who already have a child

It took me almost 1 year to get pg with my DD. My son I got pg the 2nd month of ttc. I guess sometimes it just takes a bit longer, which can be very frustrating.

Re: TCC'ers who already have a child

Our first was a complete suprise too and when I asked my OB when I should go off the pill she asked about my DS and I told her it was just one try so she told me to stop the month before I wanted to try and I should have no problem...well she was wrong I mean I can't complain because it happened after 4 months and others try for so much longer but it felt like forever. And since I thought it would be easy I told a lot of people we would be trying..BIG mistake. They kept asking and telling me to relax and said things like 'what do you think its not goingto happen?'. First off I'm not a relaxed person normally so they should know better and who are they to know something wasn't wrong? It was just really annoying especially because none of them have TTC experience.

Re: TCC'ers who already have a child

I just started so I haven't spoken to my Dr , but if I did have that feeling I would switch OB's in a heartbeat! You have to be comfortable and OB's should be a little more sensitive !

Re: TCC'ers who already have a child

No, I don't think anyone is not sympathetic because we already have our DD. I am truly blessed to have her but it doesn't make the disappoint of these past 12 months any less painful or sad. I've suffered through 5-6 failed IUI's, 3 miscarriages, and the unfortunate end to any IF treatment since we've exhausted our insurance at this point. It's been horrible to say the least and nobody, not even my doctors, have been any less sensitive to what we've been through because we already have a child.

Honestly, I would find yourself another doctor. First off, I am also 35 and I'm sorry but we don't have the time to sit around and wait and hope that we will conceive. And what if you have something wrong that can be easily corrected? Further testing can never hurt IMO. Secondly, I can speak from experience that just because you conceived once doesn't mean you will just get pregnant again.......or stay pregnant. Your body changes, everything changes so who knows what might be going on with you now. I thought it would be so easy to have #2. Conceiving my DD was a breeze. I was at the RE for 3 months and taking Metformin, I had one IUI and 1 egg and BAM!!...........pregnant. Now this past year I've been at the RE, on Metformin again, on Clomid as well and NOTHING has been easy and nothing has gone according to plan. We were going to start IVF until we found out the $$ was all gone. Anyway, you're doctor sounds like an a$$ to be honest and I would start looking around for someone new. Good luck!

Message edited 11/19/2010 12:37:32 PM.

Re: TCC'ers who already have a child

Hi Laides...

So sorry to hear you are all struggling with Secondary Infertility. I am as well. I wasn't even trying to get pregnant when my DD was conceived. She is my life and I thank God for 1000x a day.

But DH and I have been trying to have #2 for 3yrs now. We have undergone 6 IUI's (did get preg on #2 but misscarried) and I am on my 2ww wait of IVF #3 (did get preg on my 2nd IVF too but misscarried).

I have had 3 consecutive misscarriages within the past 2 years. I am 41 so age is my problem, but what I really wanted to say is don't waste time. My OBGYN told me not to worry when I was 38 and that I would be pregnant soon, well dont listen to them if they tell you that.

Go see an RE and at least have the basic testing done. For those of you that have had misscarriages don't just assume that it is normal, often they are and can happen to anyone at any age but often there are underlying problems that may cause the misscarriages.

One of my misscarriages I was able to have a D&C and it did come back abnormal chromosome which again can happen to anyone at any age although it is more likely to happen the older you are. But I have recently changed RE's and my new RE thinks outside the box and we did extensive bw and found that I do have some immunological issues which I am currently being treated for. I just had my ET yesterday and I PRAY this time it works and it is a GOOD EGG! I wish you all the best of luck!

Re: TCC'ers who already have a child

We were kind of the opposite.

This time, the new Ob said if not PG by 6 months, we'll start going down the road of testing. Maybe it's because I am 35 and a h/o of a MC.

I actually resisted her and said if I don't get PG, I'm not testing. I have one DC and don't want to go through the level of testing I've had for a medical problem in the past because it caused me so much stress and I know it's unlikely to give me any answers I want to seek treatment for. We absolutely can't afford reproductive technology...

Luckily, I got PG after month 3-4 of trying.

If you already have a DC, there is NO reason they should treat you differently. Every TTC road is different...sometimes luckily easy, sometimes a big feat to accomplish...

May your remaining stay on this board be a short one!

Message edited 11/21/2010 9:13:05 PM.