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Eireann
Two ladies and a gentleman!
Member since 5/05 12165 total posts
Name:
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Is this cruel at Christmas? Yes...3 year old related. Well, Santa wrote the letter!
My 3 year old has been an absolute terror 50% of the time and it only seems to be getting worse. And here I was hoping 3.5 would be the turning point...it wasn't.
Here's just a small example:
Every day we walk to get DD#1 from school--which at this point involves shoes, hat, mittens, jacket, hood X2 for the little guy. I start early.  But despite that she throws a tantrum just about every day. Here's a conversation we had:
ME: Santa is watching you and if you refuse to behave you won't be getting any presents.
HER: You go by yourself and I'm getting all my toys ANYWAY. And if you say that to me one more time, YOU'RE not coming to Christmas.
Yes, that's verbatim. And yes, I drink.   
The Santa card just didn't work and even today...not so good.
I'm thinking of having a letter from "Santa" waiting for her tomorrow along with her gifts. Something like, "There would have been more, but you weren't on your best behavior..." etc etc.
Cruel or no? HELP!!
Message edited 12/27/2010 4:52:35 PM.
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Posted 12/24/10 12:12 PM  |
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MrsYank
She's here :)
Member since 4/07 3238 total posts
Name:
Mrs. Yank
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Re: Is this cruel at Christmas? How would you handle it? Yes...3 year old related.
Not cruel IMO.... She's testing you!
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| Posted 12/24/10 12:15 PM |
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MrsFlatbread
Skinny jeans are in my future
Member since 6/06 10258 total posts
Name:
Baby Momma
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Re: Is this cruel at Christmas? How would you handle it? Yes...3 year old related.
Not cruel. You can always bring out the toys during the year...besides too many toys in one day are overkill anyway...
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| Posted 12/24/10 12:17 PM |
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MrsBumbleb
it's me
Member since 5/05 11234 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Is this cruel at Christmas? How would you handle it? Yes...3 year old related.
Sounds familiar. My 4 yr old is reaching new levels of fresh lately. The Santa card and the Elf on the shelf is not working. I suggested doing something like what you said. DH thinks I'm a cruel beetch. I think he knows DH is a softy because when I say something I mean it. I've thrown away toys right in front of him. I want him to realize what type of behavior is expected of him and the consequences for not acting appropriately. When I say he needs to have better behavior DH will undermine me and say he's a good boy. I say go for it.
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| Posted 12/24/10 12:30 PM |
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Gatsbygirl
Please St. Therese....
Member since 10/07 8494 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is this cruel at Christmas? How would you handle it? Yes...3 year old related.
I have no words of wisdom other than she and Connor can go live on an island somewhere while we
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| Posted 12/24/10 1:06 PM |
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BAM 2009
I am who I am!!!
Member since 5/09 6081 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is this cruel at Christmas? How would you handle it? Yes...3 year old related.
Not cruel at all...I worked as a nanny for a couple with 2 kids and the oldest was the freshest kid I ever knew. They took away toys all the time. I even came home with the toys a few times because she always found them in the house. For Christmas one year, I told the kids that Santa stopped by my house and dropped off some gifts for them. She got one little toy and a note from Santa saying why she only got one toy when her sibling got much more. She was shocked to say the least....Her behavior did change. She got a little better with the freshness and attitude. She was 5 at the time. But she was super fresh and super spoiled by her Mom and grandparents from day one....Got to nip it in the butt now or won't get better. She is old enough to understand that she can't ac that way... Good luck!!!
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| Posted 12/24/10 1:16 PM |
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Re: Is this cruel at Christmas? How would you handle it? Yes...3 year old related.
My husband wrapped empty presents for one of his daughters one year to teach her a lesson - I would totally do it if Cai didn't pull it together. After the tears, there could be a bag that Santa left to give her another chance?
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| Posted 12/24/10 1:45 PM |
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LoveBeingMrsT
Love my Boys!
Member since 12/05 4648 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is this cruel at Christmas? How would you handle it? Yes...3 year old related.
Posted by lipglossjunky73
My husband wrapped empty presents for one of his daughters one year to teach her a lesson - I would totally do it if Cai didn't pull it together. After the tears, there could be a bag that Santa left to give her another chance?
i would sooo do this! not cruel, such a good lesson imo!
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| Posted 12/24/10 2:05 PM |
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VTTG0609
My loves <3
Member since 8/09 3294 total posts
Name:
V
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Re: Is this cruel at Christmas? How would you handle it? Yes...3 year old related.
Posted by LoveBeingMrsT
Posted by lipglossjunky73
My husband wrapped empty presents for one of his daughters one year to teach her a lesson - I would totally do it if Cai didn't pull it together. After the tears, there could be a bag that Santa left to give her another chance?
i would sooo do this! not cruel, such a good lesson imo!
I absolutely would do this too!
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| Posted 12/24/10 2:15 PM |
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WhatNow
Say Cheese!
Member since 1/06 8033 total posts
Name:
A (formerly WhatNow?)
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Re: Is this cruel at Christmas? How would you handle it? Yes...3 year old related.
Posted by Eireann
I'm thinking of having a letter from "Santa" waiting for her tomorrow along with her gifts. Something like, "There would have been more, but you weren't on your best behavior..." etc etc.
Cruel or no? HELP!!
I think that's a great idea- she is still getting gifts but NOT as much as the really well behaved girls are getting. Very clever! 
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| Posted 12/24/10 2:22 PM |
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Re: Is this cruel at Christmas? How would you handle it? Yes...3 year old related.
ORRRrrr.......
A letter from Santa, with all her gifts.
The catch? She gets one present a day. If she is good. santa will explain it all in the letter
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| Posted 12/24/10 2:30 PM |
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Stacey1403
Where it all began....
Member since 5/05 24065 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is this cruel at Christmas? How would you handle it? Yes...3 year old related.
My Dad one year never put up a tree and told us we weren't having Christmas because we had been so naughty. We were so upset and guess what it worked well at least for a couple of months
He put the tree up when we were sleeping and told us Santa did it and was giving us another chance.
Maybe hold a few gifts back and tell her in the note that Santa will bring the rest in a few days if she has better behavior
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| Posted 12/24/10 2:40 PM |
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MikesBride
LIF Adult
Member since 12/09 1245 total posts
Name:
Ilana
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Re: Is this cruel at Christmas? How would you handle it? Yes...3 year old related.
I don't think its cruel AT ALL and in fact SD was getting threats about xmas getting cancelled if she didn't get her act together...she's already not getting some gifts because of her behavior.
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| Posted 12/24/10 2:48 PM |
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monkeybride
My Everything
Member since 5/05 20541 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is this cruel at Christmas? How would you handle it? Yes...3 year old related.
I think I am going to write a letter too. My 5 year old have been super defiant and it makes me so sad but I just can't not give her presents.
I do have to LOL at your DD though. I know it's not funny but OMG the things that kids say seriously crack me up. (easy to say when it's not my kid)
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| Posted 12/24/10 3:13 PM |
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CucumberGirl
You give the best smiles!
Member since 1/09 2398 total posts
Name:
M~
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Re: Is this cruel at Christmas? How would you handle it? Yes...3 year old related.
Not cruel at all - I think these are all great ideas and am bookmarking this thread for myself for the future should the need arise.
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| Posted 12/24/10 3:24 PM |
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lc214
BLUE times 2!
Member since 11/05 1884 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Is this cruel at Christmas? How would you handle it? Yes...3 year old related.
Posted by lipglossjunky73
ORRRrrr.......
A letter from Santa, with all her gifts.
The catch? She gets one present a day. If she is good. santa will explain it all in the letter
I really like this idea. Or a letter from Santa saying mommy and daddy know where Santa hid the presents and they will give them to you one at time when you behave better.
I don't think your initial idea is cruel but this is very concrete.
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| Posted 12/24/10 5:42 PM |
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karacg
Babygirl is 4!
Member since 5/05 17076 total posts
Name:
Kara®
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Re: Is this cruel at Christmas? How would you handle it? Yes...3 year old related.
DD got a letter back from santa saying she would have gotten more toys had she been on her best behavior (she's been a nightmare lately). And a warning for next year!
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| Posted 12/25/10 12:34 AM |
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butterfly20
Party of 5 - 2015
Member since 4/06 7390 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is this cruel at Christmas? How would you handle it? Yes...3 year old related.
Posted by lipglossjunky73
ORRRrrr.......
A letter from Santa, with all her gifts.
The catch? She gets one present a day. If she is good. santa will explain it all in the letter
I like this one.
Also have you tried
www.portablenorthpole.tv/
you can make a free personalized video from Santa. It has you select what effort has been asked of your child this year and there are options such as controlling temper or stop throwing temper tantrums. It also asked if they made a reasonable effort and there is an option no they have been naughty and need to improve.
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| Posted 12/25/10 5:53 AM |
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Moehick
Ready for the sun!
Member since 5/05 30339 total posts
Name:
Properly perfect™
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Re: Is this cruel at Christmas? How would you handle it? Yes...3 year old related.
I would so do this...I can see myself doing this in 2 years with Erin. I don't think it would be mean, she needs to learn consequences.
So what happened?
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| Posted 12/26/10 4:05 PM |
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hope07
LIF Adult
Member since 12/06 1050 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is this cruel at Christmas? How would you handle it? Yes...3 year old related.
I would NOT choose to do that!
I guess im the minority... I would try to go about solving the problem a different way. Maybe making a game of getting dressed... or allow her some control or choice in the process (by letting her choose the clothing or order it goes on or being a helper in getting the little one dressed, giving her a job like the keeper of all the warm clothes...) It seems that she is looking to be the leader of something or have some say in her life. Toddlers are so hard I know... but with some kids the more we "fight" them and take everything away the harder they come back. Just another way of looking at it =) Hope things get easier, Kids are challenging!
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| Posted 12/26/10 5:01 PM |
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Eireann
Two ladies and a gentleman!
Member since 5/05 12165 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is this cruel at Christmas? Yes...3 year old related. Well, Santa wrote the letter!
Thank you for all of your advice!
After giving it much thought (and my DH also thought it was kinda mean ), I decided I had to see it through.
She opened up all of her gifts. I didn't actually give her less or hide any presents away etc. It turned out naturally that Katherine got one or two more things than she did anyway; actually, one present I left unnamed in case of a tie...in which case I would give it to Kate.
One of the stocking stuffers was a little Hello Kitty notepad. In the center of the book, I had Santa write to her saying that she had mostly been a good girl this year, but that he had seen her giving her mommy and daddy a hard time (and I listed a couple of specific examples) and as a result, he gave her less presents, yadda, yadda. She was definitely taken aback and got really quiet. It seemed like it worked! I guess we'll find out next Christmas...
But before anyone starts feeling bad or anything, she's already back to being an a-hole again. Kidding, kidding... It is, however, a good thing I'm crazy about this kid.
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| Posted 12/27/10 5:01 PM |
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Jan1975
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Member since 8/09 3846 total posts
Name:
Sarah
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Re: Is this cruel at Christmas? Yes...3 year old related. Well, Santa wrote the letter!
Posted by Eireann
But before anyone starts feeling bad or anything, she's already back to being an a-hole again. Kidding, kidding... It is, however, a good thing I'm crazy about this kid.
I'm sorry but  to this!! I like your honesty!
Message edited 12/27/2010 5:58:32 PM.
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| Posted 12/27/10 5:58 PM |
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littlebeanz
LIF Adult
Member since 7/10 1667 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is this cruel at Christmas? Yes...3 year old related. Well, Santa wrote the letter!
I would personally try a more positive approach. Try to reward small things, not with toys or candy but maybe praise and a toy or sticker at the end of the day. Have you read the book happiest toddler..it may help
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| Posted 12/27/10 7:17 PM |
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littlebeanz
LIF Adult
Member since 7/10 1667 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is this cruel at Christmas? Yes...3 year old related. Well, Santa wrote the letter!
Posted by hope07
I would NOT choose to do that!
I guess im the minority... I would try to go about solving the problem a different way. Maybe making a game of getting dressed... or allow her some control or choice in the process (by letting her choose the clothing or order it goes on or being a helper in getting the little one dressed, giving her a job like the keeper of all the warm clothes...) It seems that she is looking to be the leader of something or have some say in her life. Toddlers are so hard I know... but with some kids the more we "fight" them and take everything away the harder they come back. Just another way of looking at it =) Hope things get easier, Kids are challenging!
Your not alone, I completely agree!!! Great ideas...
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| Posted 12/27/10 7:18 PM |
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maybesoon
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 5981 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is this cruel at Christmas? Yes...3 year old related. Well, Santa wrote the letter!
Posted by SweetApril
Posted by Eireann
But before anyone starts feeling bad or anything, she's already back to being an a-hole again. Kidding, kidding... It is, however, a good thing I'm crazy about this kid.
I'm sorry but to this!! I like your honesty!
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| Posted 12/27/10 7:24 PM |
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