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question2010
LIF Infant
Member since 8/10 57 total posts
Name:
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babysitting/daycare/inlaw question
This is going to be my first child and my FIL said he would watch our son one day a week. The one day would help us financially, but if we had the extra day of daycare, it wouldnt break the bank.
This seemed great when he first offered, but As I get closer to becoming an actual parent and having my son, I am very hesitant.
My FIL smokes pot morning, noon, and night. He has huge bags of it and even smokes with his kids and has been since they were 17. My dh does not, because he does not agree with that, but his siblings do. My FIL is a good guy and really cares about his family. He is there for us for anything we need, but I can't get past this pot thing. I am 98% sure he would not smoke before or during watching my son, but I really can't say I am 100% sure. Then there is the moral issue. Do I want someone who thinks it is ok to smoke with his 17 year old children to be watching my son, even if it is only one day per week? I don't know what to do.. When I spoke to dh about it, he said his dad knows better than to put our child in jepordy. My dh wants him to babysit, but the closer I get to being a mom, the stronger my feelings get to not having him watch him. I know if I tell him no, it wont be good and my dh family will dislike me which will cause issues with me and dh.
I think though, if I found out the babysitter smoked all the time, I wouldn't have hired her.
What would you do? Please respond.... Am I over reacting?
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Posted 3/7/11 8:32 AM  |
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littlebeanz
LIF Adult
Member since 7/10 1667 total posts
Name:
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Re: babysitting/daycare/inlaw question
We had this debate a while ago, but I wouldnt want a pot smoker watching my son! You have to do what your comfortable doing tho.
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| Posted 3/7/11 8:37 AM |
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jgl
Love my little boys!!!
Member since 8/07 7060 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: babysitting/daycare/inlaw question
I am completly against drugs and pot is included and I would not allow it. He is an adult - it is time to grow up! It is ilegal! What if he is watching your son and for some reason the police are sent there and find it?
Does he smoke in the house? If so that is disgusting and wouldnt even bring my son to visit.
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| Posted 3/7/11 8:53 AM |
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mommy2B3
2 boys 2 girls!!!!
Member since 7/08 3324 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: babysitting/daycare/inlaw question
You just explained my fil lol, minus the being a good part. Fil smokes all day evrryday, its disgusting. I walk into his house and usually you can tell he smoked not to long ago. My kids are not aloud to be alone with him ever, period. Dh agrees bc well he grew up with him on the weekends and remembers things. I wouldnt bc of the second hand smoke, but that includes ciggs for me, everyone has different tolerances.
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| Posted 3/7/11 8:54 AM |
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lvdolphins
My Loves!
Member since 5/05 46292 total posts
Name:
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Re: babysitting/daycare/inlaw question
I personally wouldn't.
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| Posted 3/7/11 8:54 AM |
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SpencersMommy
I'm one lucky girl
Member since 11/07 3494 total posts
Name:
Melanie
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Re: babysitting/daycare/inlaw question
Nope!
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| Posted 3/7/11 9:20 AM |
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summerBaby10
let's be nice
Member since 9/07 10208 total posts
Name:
Wifey
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Re: babysitting/daycare/inlaw question
I really would not feel comfortable with that so I would not allow him to babysit.
Is there no one else that can help out?
Maybe post an ad at your local college for a college girl one day a week.. she has to be cheaper than daycare.
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| Posted 3/7/11 9:21 AM |
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bayla
Love my two kiddos :)
Member since 8/06 7178 total posts
Name:
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Re: babysitting/daycare/inlaw question
ETA- No way, I really re-read the whole thing this time LOL if hes doing it all the time, I wouldnt want that individual with my DC
Message edited 3/7/2011 9:24:31 AM.
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| Posted 3/7/11 9:21 AM |
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Linda1003
love my 2 boys
Member since 8/08 10923 total posts
Name:
Linda
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Re: babysitting/daycare/inlaw question
Nope..never... high on pot and watching my child....what if he had to take DS in the car.. no way..
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| Posted 3/7/11 9:23 AM |
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lucyloo
nope
Member since 1/06 9758 total posts
Name:
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Re: babysitting/daycare/inlaw question
Hell no... and I'm 100% for it being legalized!
You need to be alert when watching a child and even if he doesn't smoke around the child, if he smoked 3x a day the day before he would not be alert!
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| Posted 3/7/11 9:27 AM |
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Ian&EmmesMommy23
My family is complete!
Member since 11/08 12970 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: babysitting/daycare/inlaw question
I definitely wouldnt. maybe you can say how you like the daycare atmosphere and wouldnt want to break up his schedule.
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| Posted 3/7/11 9:27 AM |
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Nifheim
allo
Member since 1/09 5476 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: babysitting/daycare/inlaw question
i am all for legalization and do not care what the hell someone does in their house (just like drinking) but when watching a child you should be sober in my book.
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| Posted 3/7/11 9:30 AM |
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Junebaby41
LIF Infant
Member since 10/10 243 total posts
Name:
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Re: babysitting/daycare/inlaw question
Definately not. If you did have him babysit and something happened, I feel like you would blame yourself.
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| Posted 3/7/11 10:01 AM |
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d-h2008
LIF Adult
Member since 10/09 2490 total posts
Name:
D EDD: 8/29/2010
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Re: babysitting/daycare/inlaw question
NO WAY! and he shouldnt take it personally and neither should your DH.
My father smokes regular marlboro cigarettes like a chimney and I refuse to leave DD with him. Also, before he carries her he has to wash his hands and he cant go face-to-face with her/kiss her cause he reeks. Its sad, but its the price he pays for smoking.
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| Posted 3/7/11 10:17 AM |
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Merf99
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3380 total posts
Name:
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Re: babysitting/daycare/inlaw question
Personally, i would not allow it. And if you don't want to cause a huge rift I would go with the thing someone said before - you don't want ot break up his schedule at daycare. End of story!
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| Posted 3/7/11 10:20 AM |
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mommyIam
Member since 7/09 9209 total posts
Name:
Shana
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Re: babysitting/daycare/inlaw question
I wouldn't let my FIL watch DS, and he only smokes cigarettes, and just the smell off his clothing is enough for me to keep DS away. He can be in he same room, but I insist that MIL is there 100% and does all the carrying, feeding, changing, etc.
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| Posted 3/7/11 10:27 AM |
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Re: babysitting/daycare/inlaw question
heck no
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| Posted 3/7/11 11:29 AM |
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brownie
Baby #1 is here!
Member since 11/08 13903 total posts
Name:
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Re: babysitting/daycare/inlaw question
For me, easy He11 no!
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| Posted 3/7/11 11:33 AM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: babysitting/daycare/inlaw question
Is their really even a question here? Heck no I would NOT let my FIL watch my child. I don't doubt that he's a good guy but that would be irresponsible parenting to even consider leaving your baby with him. Sorry, but there is just NO way I would even entertain the idea if I were in your shoes.
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| Posted 3/7/11 11:34 AM |
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KartveliT
...
Member since 1/08 8363 total posts
Name:
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Re: babysitting/daycare/inlaw question
sorry, but I wouldn't even have to think about this .
NO , NEVER!
This is just me , but I wouldn't even leave DD with anyone who likes to drink alcohol ,even if it's 1 glass wine bc I don't drink and if I ever have an occasional glass of wine (or more like a 1/2 glass of wine) it's only after DD is asleep and the day is done, I also wouldn't leave DD with anyone who smokes cigarettes even if they don't do it around DD, smell is enough.... LET ALONE POT!
I do understand that everyone's situation is different and some people really have no options, but if you do have other options I'd say no. smoking pot and having pot in the house is a HUGE no, no to me. sorry.
Message edited 3/7/2011 11:47:49 AM.
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| Posted 3/7/11 11:44 AM |
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Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!
Member since 8/05 14470 total posts
Name:
Veronica
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Re: babysitting/daycare/inlaw question
Posted by dita
Hell no... and I'm 100% for it being legalized!
You need to be alert when watching a child and even if he doesn't smoke around the child, if he smoked 3x a day the day before he would not be alert!
ITA
I mean I don't care if he's not smoking around the baby or not. If you're against it then just say no. I probably would have not said yes to begin with.
Think you're gonig to have to sit with the hubby and make sure you're both on board.
OOOOOR! you can say you can't do one day off. My daycare required I pay for all 5days so why would I take the baby out?
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| Posted 3/7/11 11:45 AM |
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Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy
Member since 3/08 10420 total posts
Name:
Momx100
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Re: babysitting/daycare/inlaw question
No way!!!
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| Posted 3/7/11 11:49 AM |
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brownie
Baby #1 is here!
Member since 11/08 13903 total posts
Name:
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Re: babysitting/daycare/inlaw question
You're not joking are you, especially with that "am I overreacting" question?
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| Posted 3/7/11 11:53 AM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: babysitting/daycare/inlaw question
Can you try to use the daycare place as your excuse? Can you say they don't accept kids part time?
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| Posted 3/7/11 11:57 AM |
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twinkletoes807
Mommy's Girls! ♥
Member since 11/07 10116 total posts
Name:
Gabi
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Re: babysitting/daycare/inlaw question
Ummm, no fuucking way! Just like you said, ypu wouldn't hire a babysitter that you knew smoked up, so why would your FIL get a pass?
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| Posted 3/7/11 12:05 PM |
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