What should have happened here ? (long)

DS (5) tells me this morning that a 5th grader named "M" punched him in the face yesterday at school...I asked him to explain what happened and he said the kindergarteners were lined up on the wall (for buses) and she wanted to high five him with a punch and he didn't want to so she punched him in the face..

My first thought was that perhaps she was goofing around w/ him and missed but apparently this was not the case...DS said she was doing this with everyone and he was the only one who didnt want to participate and when she punched him in the face he pulled back and hit his head into the wall ...

I asked him what he did, and he told his teacher who then used the classroom phone to call the principal, she wasnt in her office so teacher said she would take care of it today...

DS obviously didnt get hurt ( he even waited till the next morning to tell us) so obviously he was not "hurt"...I however am annoyed that no-one called me and that I had to hear about it from a 5yo...

I write the teacher a note today to please call me about the incident that took place (partly because I wanted to know how much validity was to it, since I know 5 year olds can be "creative") ..No call , no note today from teacher...DS says his teacher sent him down to the principals office to give THEM the note and she wasn't in so he handed it to the custodian

I call the school after hours, teacher has left and principal has as well....Principals secretary was VERY aware of the incident and said the note did eventually get to the principal and that she was in meetings all day ( ) and that she would call me in the AM
( well at 8am I am having a c-section so that does me no good)...The secretary was there when DS went down originally and he was asked if he wanted to be seen by the nurse and that they were investigating the matter....

So now, apparently this did indeed occur and my DS's story seems to be very legit....

Don't you think I should have been called by SOMEONE ??? And what the heck is a 5th grader doing putting their hands on a 5 year old ( whether it started off as joiking or not, I have no idea and frankly don't care)...This girl is also on DS's bus, so I have no idea if she is a bully in general or what....

I am just irritated at the lack of communication and that my 5yo was put in the position to relay notes to principals and then have to tell me about what happened

Message edited 3/17/2011 5:07:16 PM.

Re: What should have happened here ? (long)

yes - they should have called you!!! Administration of some sort (or nurse), but not the teacher. If it doesn't happen in the classroom and/or the teacher is not a witness, it goes out of their hands.

I will say that this week IS crazy for schools around LI. Budgets are being slashed and meetings are going all day and into the night. Regardless, you don't know this and it might not be the case for your district and it would annoy me that no one informed me of anything!

Re: What should have happened here ? (long)

I think you should have received a phone call from someone - mainly because he hit his head.

There a million things that happen in a day that I don't know about until my kids get home.

Also because you wrote a note, I do think you should have gotten a call back. I was very frustrated when notes & phone calls go unreturned. If you can email, that may help because it also means you can forward an email with no response up the chain of command, if necessary.

It took me awhile to get used to the difference between daycare & elementary school because I was used to getting called for every little thing from daycare. It's the start of having independent kids. I get the majority of my information from my kids now. However at 5, it still felt strange to not hear about their day from their teachers, etc.

Re: What should have happened here ? (long)

Yeah, I wish his teacher was more into e-mails....At orientation she told us she doesn't do the e-mail thing and prefers to stick to good ole' fashioned notes and phone calls , which would be fine IF she responded to them

I think my biggest issue here is that after I "did" hear about it from DS, that me writing the note meant that I wanted adult clarification of the incident and never got it....Thankfully my DS did not get hurt, but I felt that if it was a big enough deal for the principal to become involved, it warranted the parents notified, kwim?

Just to think, this is only the beginning

Re: What should have happened here ? (long)

I would not expect the school to call me bout that because my child was not injured and frankly if no one saw the incident there is a good chance that noone knows for sure what happened. If I called about it, I would expect a response.

Re: What should have happened here ? (long)

I'm annoyed for you!

You should have been notified the day of the incident. If they dropped the ball and nobody knew about it, your note should have resulted in AT LEAST a note from the teacher or the principal to acknowledge that they received it and give you some clarification as to their side of the story. If I knew the other parent's phone number I would have called her - not to flip out but to find out if she'd heard anything or if she knew whether or not there was more to the story.

Unfortunately I have learned the hard way that sometimes what the school considers important and what I consider important are 2 different things. I now send notes that actually say "Please call or send a note back TODAY."

On another note.. Congratulations on your new baby!!

Message edited 3/19/2011 7:29:27 AM.

Re: What should have happened here ? (long)

How did you not even receive an incident report from the nurse on this??

I'm pizzed for you and would've flipped my lid on both the teacher and the principal for not responding to your messages after they neglected to inform you of the incident.

Why a fifth grader was allowed to even touch your kid, who is literally HALF their age, is beyond me. And then to not be told about it....oh He ll No.

Somebody dropped the ball here. Not acceptable.


eta: Congrats on baby

Message edited 3/19/2011 11:49:09 AM.

Re: What should have happened here ? (long)

I would b livid. Noone should touch anyone let alone a 5th grader on your son!
a incident report should have been filled out at the very least. Some sort of action should have been taken due to zero tolerance in most schools if not all.
Say he hurt his head when he hit it, if he did not tell u then you would never have known had something happened.
I would insist a report b filled out especially since this child makes a habit out of this.
I am different but I would call the parents.