If you have a shy child... or your child go through shy phases?

Where they shy as a baby?
Where they a shy toddler? Did they have just shy phases?
Did they continue t be a shy child?

If you had a shy toddler, how did you help them? Do you just let them cling to you?

DS was never shy in his whole 15m life, something creeped up as of late, and he's clingy to me in public. I know hes going through another round of teeth, but I wonder if this is a phase or something else.

Re: If you have a shy child... or your child go through shy phases?

Each of my kids have gone through shy phases. Especially my middle child. I don't think it means anything other than that they're recognizing when they are overstimulated or overwhelmed by an experience. Eliza (my second DD) usually hides behind me in all new situations and when meeting new people, but warms up relatively quickly if she's allowed to move at her own pace.

In new situations where children are playing a game and Eliza hangs back I'll often join in the game WITHOUT her, then fade out as soon as she starts participating. At 2.5 she's just learning how to play WITH friends instead of alongside them so sometimes she just needs a model.

In situations where she's meeting new people, especially grown ups I'll introduce myself and her. When she hides I'll say to her, "Oh, I'm/Eliza's feeling a little shy." This gives her the words to label her feelings. Now she'll say that on her own to me or people. It's adorable, but also an appropriate way for her to empower herself. I find she often warms up soon after.

I allow her to be shy, but reassure her that I'm there and I encourage her to move at their own pace. I also try not to make a big deal of it ("Eliza! Say hello!" "Eliza, stop being so shy, kiss your aunt!") because I feel any excessive attention is a reinforcer.

15 months is still SO young. He's only just entered the toddler phase of his life so he's getting used to this new phase of "independance".

Sorry this is so long- it's a topic that's become very near and dear to me lately.

Re: If you have a shy child... or your child go through shy phases?

Shana great question, and Amy I really appreciate your response. Luca has always been shy, even around family members that he always sees, and it irks me to no end when people try to get him to come out of his shell/safe place before he's ready - especially since it only leads to a cranky child. I never thought to label it for him, I'm going to start doing that.

Re: If you have a shy child... or your child go through shy phases?

Re: If you have a shy child... or your child go through shy phases?

Both of my kids are shy but in their own ways. Ryan is 5 and Erin is 3.

Ryan is a little shy at first when meeting someone, but within a few minutes is joining in. He is VERY shy when the center of attention. Case in point at his preschool graduation today he closed his eyes the entire time because he was so shy about being in front of everyone.

Erin is VERY VERY shy when around people she is not 100% comfortable with. It took her the entire school year to actually SPEAK in class. Same kids, same teacher and just recently she has started to be comfortable with them. She is the biggest chatterbox in the world if you know her, but she will become mute when in the presence of anyone else and will cling to me like white on rice.

Both of them were happy babies, smiling at strangers, etc. As toddlers I started to notice their hesitation in certain situations with new people. I was a VERY shy kid, and still am around people I don't know, so I guess its in their genes.