sharing baby stuff when you might not be done with it?

If you aren't finished having kids and you have saved all of your LO's clothes, baby gear, etc., do you feel like you have to share it with friends or family that are expecting?

DH and I want to ttc for #2 soon. I have a cousin that is due with her 1st this summer, and a friend due with their 1st in the fall. Part of me feels like I should share DD's clothing (if one of them were to have a girl) and other baby stuff. The other part of me says, no, I will still need all my baby stuff! Is it wrong to hoard all my baby stuff and not give it up or loan it out? I mean, I am not pregnant now... but I would like to be soon.... what is the right thing to do?

Re: sharing baby stuff when you might not be done with it?

Nope I don't think you should feel like you have to share. I've had good/bad sharing experiences.

I let one friend use something and she decided she wasn't going to use it. Next thing she gave it to another friend. That friend since isn't using it anymore (she told me) and I have yet to get it back. I wasn't mad but it's still mine and I think I should have it returned

I have another friend who actually told me that she gave my stuff to good will

I would keep them for yourself and you absolutely do not have to feel like you need to share.

Re: sharing baby stuff when you might not be done with it?

I don't lend out my baby stuff. A few times I let my good friend borrow my booster seat, and my sister used my newborn clothes but that was really it. Clothes don't withstand a ton of washings anymore. a lot of DS's clothes are already faded, I wouldn't want them to get even more worn out in case I have another boy. I wouldn't mind lending out a few outfits/shoes here and there for friends who are going on vacation and need out of seasoning clothing in a particular size. But not as like their child's main wardrobe. If I had to spend the money on it, then they should too!

Re: sharing baby stuff when you might not be done with it?

I would t share unless I was done having kids. It might be selfish but I didn't have a shower and we bough of her stuff. So I feel like I need to get all the use I can before giving I t away. Even if it's by BFF babies spit up poop, etc things get ruined.

Re: sharing baby stuff when you might not be done with it?

No I would not lend it out. It may get destroyed or lost in the shuffle

Re: sharing baby stuff when you might not be done with it?

Although because I had twins, everyone feels I should be done, we are not. I am keeping it all, and I don't feel guilty

Message edited 3/10/2012 12:07:10 PM.

Re: sharing baby stuff when you might not be done with it?

I don't believe in "sharing" baby stuff. If you lend it out, expect to not get it back. There are any number of reasons you won't get it back, but you have to assume you won't see that stuff again. If you are thinking of having more DC, I would hold onto what you have.

Re: sharing baby stuff when you might not be done with it?

If you are not done with your things then I would not share them. You can give a few items of clothing, but honestly I would go with the expectation of not getting things back. If you want to loan a large toy like an exersaucer or swing, where you know that it is for limited use I would and did that, but for clothing I kept most of it for my next DC until I found out I was pg with a girl and would need new clothing for her since my first is a boy.

Re: sharing baby stuff when you might not be done with it?

I am only lending clothing to my sister and one good friend until I am certain we are done.

I will lend any of our duplicate stuff. I am keeping one set of everything in case we decide to have one more.

If you think you may have another kid...keep your stuff

Re: sharing baby stuff when you might not be done with it?

I will only loan things to people until I know I am done having kids. I keep all of my kids clothing and most of the gear. As do all of my friends who plan to have more children.

Re: sharing baby stuff when you might not be done with it?

If I only had 1 LO then no I definitely wouldn't. I'm having #2 very soon. We haven't ruled out 3 but since we'll have 1 of each I'd definitely help out my SIL or GF. We received a lot from generous relatives and friends so I have no problems passing it right along. I figure IF we do have 3, it will be at least 3 more years and by that time DDs clothes would have been in the attic for 5 or 6 years. Even though they might come back faded and stained, a lot of our stuff gets ruined up there anyway from the heat and cold.

Re: sharing baby stuff when you might not be done with it?

I didn't share any of my stuff with anyone. If I wasn't planning on having anymore kids, then I would give things away.
When I was having my first, I have to admit, I didn't want anyones hand me down clothes or baby items. People where giving me clothes, and I didn't want to be mean and say no. I wound up donating alot of things, because some of the clothes where so ugly or outdated. I had a big shower and got alot of stuff. Plus, people bought me so many baby clothes after DS was born. I had so much fun picking outfits out.

Re: sharing baby stuff when you might not be done with it?

nope. no need to share until you feel your all done - then share or donate away.

my sister gave me a bunch of clothes cause she knew she was done.

my friend gave me a bunch of clothes, I' m not sure if she was quite done, but if she ever expected again, I could probably give her back the stuff cause I remember those things.

Re: sharing baby stuff when you might not be done with it?

Whew! yay for no sharing!! Good, now I don't feel so guilty. Thanks for all the advice!

Re: sharing baby stuff when you might not be done with it?

I've shared gear (only with good friends) but not clothing.

Re: sharing baby stuff when you might not be done with it?

I lent out some gear and got it back in perfect condition.

We have also been given a lot of stuff from our friends who have only 1 child. DS#2 is a lot chubbier than DS#1 so DS#1's clothes don't fit him properly.

I tend to be giving to people who are giving back. I didn't expect it but our friends who we lent to always gifted nice things to our children. I also reciprocate.

Re: sharing baby stuff when you might not be done with it?

I personally haven't lent out clothes, but I have lent out other things like a swing, cradle, baby food maker to cousins. Im expecting #2 in the summer, so by the time their kids have grown out of them, I can take them back! Then again, I lent to cousins, so it's easy to say EY gimme that back! ;)
I don't think theres a right or wrong thing to do in this situation. Whatever you feel comfortable with. But I honestly don't think lending clothes is beneficial. Clothes are cheap and its the most common gift given when someone has a new baby anyway

Re: sharing baby stuff when you might not be done with it?

I got ALOT of stuff both new and handed down. My SIL told me to keep what I wanted and toss the rest. Anything that wasn't really my style or stuff I wanted but was in good condition I donated. Stuff I think is in good condition / nice but am just ehh about I keep seperate in case my sister has children...then there are some pieces I just would never want to part with.

Message edited 3/11/2012 12:02:24 AM.

Re: sharing baby stuff when you might not be done with it?

I didn't share clothing (I had a boy and SIL had a girl), but I did let SIL use certain baby items that we were no longer using (bouncer, baby monitor, etc). She returned them when she was done.

Re: sharing baby stuff when you might not be done with it?

Actually, I shared a lot of things with my SIL. She had the same gender as me a few months after me. I lent her a ton of clothes, jumper, and some other gear. It really helped them out, I'm glad i did it. Thankfully, everything was returned in good condition as I'm now having #2 (same gender again!). So I'm an advocate of sharing, as long as its someone close you can trust.

Re: sharing baby stuff when you might not be done with it?

I am keeping everything until I know I'm done! I don't believe that is selfish at all. My father always told me "Don't give away your @$$ to $#!+ through your ribs!"

Re: sharing baby stuff when you might not be done with it?

Nope I don't share a thing. Girls at work told me how they give everything away and that is how they justify having a shower for each kid! LOL

I saved EVERYTHING. my mom jokes she threw away all the nipples because she knows I will try to reuse them.

One thing I have shared are things with a definite end date like the bassinet and infant carrier. I know they can't use these things after a certain time and I asked for it back when they are done.

Re: sharing baby stuff when you might not be done with it?

Ive shared baby gear, but not clothes. I would only share clothes with a close friend or relative and only if they really really needed stuff.

Re: sharing baby stuff when you might not be done with it?

I shared baby gear, (my swing, maternity clothes, baby gates, baby jail, etc). I didn't mind because I'm getting it all back now.

Re: sharing baby stuff when you might not be done with it?

under normal circumstances I wouldn't share but my best best friend is having a baby this summer and I am going to lend her my swing and jumperoo since DD wont be using them anymore. I know she'll take great care of them and give them back when she is done.