Is your family supportive?

We had our CPSE to CSE meeting today and it went very well DD is getting the help that she needs. We have had a very rough year and I have really been struggling. So in some ways it was a relief to know she will get the help she needs. However, my family is very upset and angry with me (they didn't want me to originally eval her last year either). They feel like I have stigmatized her because she was placed in a 15:1:2 class. My family is a big help to us and my girls spend a lot of time with them so it is very hard on me to not have any support. Has anyone else gone through this before and does it get better?

Re: Is your family supportive?

I go through this too. My parents (who watch DS (until further notice) two days a week) do not "get him." She wants him to learn a certain way. They want him to act a certain way. They want him to "be normal." There are some days my heart breaks and wished that some of the most important people in DS' life were more supportive. He is going to have so many hurdles to overcome in life. Getting his grandparents to support him shouldnt be one of them. I tried talking to my mom about the program I think he belongs in in the Fall. Kinda bouncing things off her since she has him two days a week. She barely listened and her biggest "input" was to say "Oh, so I guess you are officially labeling him now." Um...he was "labeled" a year ago when he got a diagnosis...

Sorry you dont get the support you need

Re: Is your family supportive?

No way. It was always... If you only did this, why don't you do that, why can't you xyz, you don't talk enough, they need to be around people, they need to watch Barney, why can't you play on the floor with them?????????

I don't know if it was denial, or they thought I locked the kids in the closet all day. Either way, both sides of the family, it was all my fault.

I learned to stop talking about it and just follow my own instincts. It will get better for sure. Do what you think is right and it will all work out.

Re: Is your family supportive?

I did not tell my sister, b/c she judges. And I'm sure she would blame DS if something happened during typical kid playing.


My parents support us, but my dad constantly teases my kids. I have to tell him ALL THE TIME to stop, b/c he is learning bad behavior.

Re: Is your family supportive?

Yes
we're pretty lucky that everyone is very supportive. They know he has his issues and are always asking how EI is going or commenting how far he's come along.
My mom doesn't ever like to think there's an issue so if I say something that he has problems with she always comes back with... Yeah, but he's doing sooo well with yadda, yadda.
Which of course I know, but sometimes I just can't vent to her about little things. Took some time, but she finally did agree that he does need extra help

My brother, who knows nothing about kids, will ask stupid questions some times like... "does he play with other kids"
he'll also keep asking my DS questions over and over again. Pretty much any typical toddler would ignore
My BIL is the toughest b/c he calls him "King Mason," which bothers my mom. LOL! We laugh it off. Heck, they have 6 kids so yes... DS was the first and b4 I had my baby he was treated more special. He'll also give me the lecture like... "1 week with me and he'll eat!" or "Oh, when you weren't looking I gave him a steak or cookies, choc milk, etc" that he knows I don't approve to tease. We take it with a grain of salt with him.

Re: Is your family supportive?

This is why I would rather keep much of what is going on with my DS private. My mother judges and already compares my DS to his cousin 2 months younger who just actually started receiving EI for speech. I mean she blabbers to EVERYONE and does not get what is going on.

Re: Is your family supportive?

yes supportive and tried to push me earlier for eval but I was the one waiting for progress. All I waisted was time. You're doing the right thing by your child. Don't let them get to you. I would tell them as little as possible from now on about the therapy. Whe needs any negativity during this process.

I have a problem with people not acting the way they would with dc compared to my other kids. DC loves to be picked up and pushed in the air and caught or tickled. Some of my DH's friends will say hi but that's it and play mostly with my other kids who are practically on top of their heads as soon as they walk in the house. One of my mom's friend (before eval) would say oh he never comes over to me now after eval and some months of therapy my dc would go to her, look at her, sit next to her and she doesn't even acknowledge dc or be playful and I just want to hit her upside the head. Some kids just need a little push to be involved and would help if some people would support it. Sometimes I think these certain people need to be evaluated!

Re: Is your family supportive?

Thank you so much for all of your support. I'm feeling much better today and glad that DD is getting what she needs. It is hard because I also don't have a lot of people to talk to about it who would understand.

Re: Is your family supportive?

Christine, can totally relate as both sets of parents want DS to eat, but MIL doesn't get the OT or his sensory issues. She also doesn't realize him doing things like smelling a new food or touching it w/ his hand is a HUGE accomplishment for him. They are all supportive w/ his speech however.

Re: Is your family supportive?

My parents have said so many times that they are fine, there is nothing wrong with them regarding thier gross motor delay even they they would tell me that both of my kids didn't move as well as the other kids on the playground and they could see didn't keep up with the kids on the ball field.

Now that we were having issues with attention in school, I keep hearing, but they focus on stuff they enjoy so they are fine. Um, most people can focus on stuff they enjoy it is the other stuff that they need to do that they cna't focus on. They don't get it since my boys are not hyper how they can have adhd.

Finally when DH and I decided what we wanted to do I kept them in the loop but told them, we decided what we wanted to do to handle this, I am sure you are not 100% on OUR decision but it is not open for discussion. We are going to do what we feel is best and at this point, what we are doing might not be the best but we are trying to figure it all out. Once I was matter of fact about it and let them know we were not looking for their answer or opinion it helped a bit. Now when my parents ask us stuff they are just looking for information and how it is going, not telling us their opinion.

Good Luck!

Re: Is your family supportive?

Ditto here as well. At first I was "overreacting" now they are starting to come around....