Starting to think of DS' 3rd Birthday Party (October)

DS will be starting school in September for the first time (has never been in daycare either). As his birthday is in October, it is possible his will be one of the first in his class and I do not know how things work. I notice on the parenting board that children normally invite their DC's whole class. Does this apply to children in special needs schools also? If DS is in a 12:1 self contained class should I count on most kids coming? Even for a kid they dont know? Are you given a class list?

On the flip side, should I expect to get invited to each of his classmate's parties?

Re: Starting to think of DS' 3rd Birthday Party (October)

Most schools, even special education ones, have the rule, invite one, you invite them all IF you are handing out the invites in class. If you are mailing, you can invite whomever you want. But, they all probably won't come, so unless you have a ton of outside friends, I would just invite the entire class. That's what I used to do, I would say half came. It was fun. That's how you meet and mingle with other moms, so it doesn't matter if you don't know them.

Re: Starting to think of DS' 3rd Birthday Party (October)

My DS is in a special ed class. The birthday parties for classmates that he has been invited to have been these two scenarios:

Parent invited the whole class (9 kids) and also siblings. I would say in general, these parties had the minumum # required by the venue and it was nice because the kids knew almost all of the other kids at the party and the siblings are used to being around special needs kids.

The other ones we have gone to were where the parent invited a few kids from the class and the other kids were friends or family. I think in these cases, the parents had too may kids to invite outside of the class that invitiing the whole class would have been too many kids.

One of the parties was at White Post farms and it was great because they started the party before the place opened to the public. The kids got to pet all the animals and do pony rides before anyone else was there. I think this was my favorite of all the parties I have been to, including those of family and friend's kids.

The other parties were at Bounce places and the nice thing about those is it's only your group in the room, so it doesn't get overcrowded. I would ask them to turn off the music, though.

We didn't get invited to a party for every kid in the class. I have had all my DS's parties at home, with really just family. If I were to have a party out at a place, I would probably invite the whole class, because these are the kids he knows the best.

Message edited 3/21/2012 3:00:42 PM.

Re: Starting to think of DS' 3rd Birthday Party (October)

My son is in an integrated PreK, and we have not received a single bday invitation this year, surprisingly! He has received some from his daycare that he goes to after hours (funny, because he spends much less time there). Anyway, most parties hover around 13-20 kids tops. We invited this class for DSs bday since he knew the children much better and talked about them more (hmmm, maybe this is why we received none from his other school?). Most came, and they had a great time.

You could also just invite the boys if you don't want to have a big party. Good luck!

Re: Starting to think of DS' 3rd Birthday Party (October)

My child has an October bday and so turned 3 shortly after having started school. Pretty much sounds identical to your situation as we hadn't done daycare either. We invited whole class (10) and siblings. All but 2 kids came and it was great. My daughter was shocked and delighted to see the children from class (worlds colliding) and it was a great way to meet the other families at the start of the year. We had it at a bounce place and told the place there would be special needs kids and they were great about addressing things that could be concern,I.e., music volume, flashing lights. We were so glad we did it.

Re: Starting to think of DS' 3rd Birthday Party (October)

You may not get a class list in time. I sent a note to the teacher and she sent me a list of all the kids and I addressed the invites and sent into the school. The teacher sent them home in the backpack. I was worried kids wouldn't come as school had just started, they would think it was odd to be invited, etc. nothing could be farther from truth. I think the parents were hungry for socialization opportunity for their child and to meet parents with similar issues.