I'm going to lose it, please help me!

I could have written teach's post word for word. I feel like I am trapped in my home and it's so depressing BUT my 5 week old is number 2 for me...DS#1 is 20 months old. Everyday I feel like I am losing my mind. I am no longer working part time so I am stuck at home all.day.long and it's taking a lot to get used to. My five week old cluster nurses, so for hours on end all he does is nurse, poop, nurse, pee, nurse poop, for hours. On the plus side, after those hours are up, he sleeps for like 6 hours in a row. While I am nursing, my 20 month old gets so jealous that he starts climbing the furniture, chewing on ANYTHING... the table, the molding, he hangs on me screaming MAMA. It's taking a huge toll on me. I try to set up toys and anything I can while I am nursing but he only wants me. I try to cuddle with the two of them and he tries to beat up the baby.
It gets worse...he never been a good sleeper at all. He sleeps with us in our bed after countless attempts to get him in his own bed and even when we take him out of his bed and put him in our bed he screams because he doesn't want to be in bed, he wants to play. This happens every night and the screaming is horrible, I have to go into the other room for a few minutes and leave him with DH because if I don't I will lose it. Last night he screamed for 3 hours. DH and I are at a loss as to what to do. We try a bedtime routine, shower, pjs, brush teeth then book. I've tried getting in bed with him, putting him to bed already sleeping, bringing him to our bed, ANYTHING to get him to sleep. It's destroying our marriage because we are so stressed out over this and now with the new baby and me being a new stay at home mom to two under two, I'm in a bad place right now. I don't know if I can keep doing this.

Any advice from 2 under 2 months or bad sleeper moms?

Re: I'm going to lose it, please help me!

i don't have any advice but

Re: I'm going to lose it, please help me!

I'm sorry you are going through this. Its very difficult especially since you have 2 so young. I am not in the exact situation, but my son is VERY challenging and we have been very stressed out about it. My son has issues sleeping as well. If you lay down with him and he falls asleep can't you just leave him sleeping in his bed? I had to do this with our son at night. I would lay down or sit with him and rub his back until he fell asleep and then I would leave.

Re: I'm going to lose it, please help me!

My only advice is to make sure you take care of yourself. Make sure you sleep, even if you have to go to bed really early.

The 20 month old. Can you read to him while you nurse? Or nurse in the yard and let him run and play.

It will get better!

Re: I'm going to lose it, please help me!

Is your 20 month old in a bed or a crib? If he's in a bed, it will be much harder. Flame me if you want, but we switched our kids to beds and it was a nightmare. They were in the same room. I separated them and put locks on their doors. No more issues!

Re: I'm going to lose it, please help me!

My kids are 21 months apart and my ds is a high maintenance spirited child. he actually bit his sister when she was a few weeks old because he wanted my attention and she was nursing. He had been napping so I didn't have anything set up for him. I did find the best way to nurse was on the floor. I would sit cross legged with a pillow on my lap and plop the baby on the boob. This way i still had one hand to do puzzles or play cards with ds. We also picked up a couple "big boy toys" for him and he and I would sit there trying to figure them out. I also would put the baby in the ouch and go outside with him or put both kids in the stroller and walk but usually dd preferred the pouch. The real trick was finding something that would could do on the floor together that would hold his attention. For us it si puzzles and card games like match game. We started with say 9 matches and worked our way up. Also get washable crayons or magic color markers. Both my kids have loved crafts from an early age and you can sit at the table with a pillow on your lap and put the baby on the pillow to nurse. It will get easier

eta: ds was also a terrible sleeper. So dh and I split the kids. He got ds and I got dd since she was nursing. The first week or so was HELL but once they got into a routine everything settled down. But dh had to eb the one to get him ready for bed, put him to bed and get him at night. If we kept it consistent he did well. Any break and he would have a meltdown. He liked the special attention from daddy.

Message edited 4/30/2012 11:17:32 AM.

Re: I'm going to lose it, please help me!

Re: I'm going to lose it, please help me!

I have two under two as well. it's very very difficult. My oldest used to co sleep with us and she also started demonstrating some negative behavior as well. Go to the library and get kim west's book. The sleep lady good night......".
It works I have sleep trained my daughter 4X!!!!! This method works. At bedtime sit/lay next to your oldest son's crib and pretend to go to sleep. You can shhhh him and say night night. I find it's best to ignore him and pretend your sleeping. You might fall asleep yourself. Eventually he will fall asleep. Do this for 3 nights. if he wakes up in the middle of the night do the same thing. After 3 nights move to middle of the room. then after 3 nights to the door way and finally out the door in the hall. It will be a miracle eventually you can just put him in the crib & leave the room. I am a full time stay at home mom too. It's sooo hard. I am nap training the 4 month old now. I hope this helps. This was by far the best thing I ever did.

Re: I'm going to lose it, please help me!

My two are 15mths apart. The best thing i ever did was get them on the same nap schedule. Its very important to have a few mins to yourself. Do you have any help? I had no family near but some good friends who came by often..Its hard in the beginning but it will get better..